I Found You
by TheMightyZan
Summary: Lyna Mahariel gets sucked into Marian Hawke's life, and the events of act 3, when she reunites with Zevran.
1. Chapter 1

**This will probably end up being a pretty long story. It is based in and around the events of Act 3. I always thought it would be interesting if my Warden got tired of yet another separation from Zevran, and so went to find him. Putting her smack in the middle of the end of Hawke's story. She won't be taking action in any of the main story line, but think of it as if Lyna Mahariel and Zevran just happen to be around when things are taking place. She of course knows Merrill, and Anders, and *knows* Isabela (wink wink, nudge nudge), but how does she and Zev get along with everyone else, and how would they react to what is going on?  
I will apologize in advance for the longer then normal breaks and sporadic updates this might have, between and work and school this will have to take a back seat. Also, anyone who likes beta reading, and would like to help me, please let me know! I need all the help I can get. Heh.**

**Anywho, I hope you enjoy this first part!**

* * *

Hawke watched as the blond elf turned away from them, tossing a last goodbye over his shoulder, before glancing over to see Isabela scowling at her. She let out a small huff of breathe and turned back to the retreating elf.

"Zevran... wait," she called on a sigh, her eyes rolling once before he turned to send her a curious look. "Yes, Champion?"

"I know you said that you needed to be getting back to your Warden, and you are probably in a hurry, but surely you can stay in Kirkwall for the night."

As his face scrunched slightly, she shrugged a shoulder and glanced to the side at the setting sun in the distance. "It is almost night, and I know Isabela would like to catch up with you, in the completely platonic sense, and if the bouncing that Merrill is doing behind me is any indication, then I can only assume she has questions for you as well." She glanced back at her companions again, and noting their smiles, and aforementioned bouncing, she knew she had made the right choice. Turning back the elf in front of her she offered a tilted smile, and another shrug.

Zevran stood for a moment, as if unsure, and then let out a small laugh as he made his way back to them. He offered some comment on how he could not possibly refuse such beautiful ladies, and fell in step beside Anders as they all turned to make their way back to the city in the distance.

Hawke listened with half an ear as Anders and Merrill talked over each other to ask Zevran questions about the Warden, and how she was doing. She glanced back once and noted that Isabela was trying to ignore him, probably still miffed that he had turned down her rather blatant proposition.

Picking their way down the coast Hawke's mind wandered back to the events of the day. After she had taken the job from Nuncio earlier that morning, she had been expecting a rather straight forward hunt and fight. Letting out a small laugh she shook her head.

Straight forward.

Right.

Here she was, nearly twelve hours later, and she had not only killed the group that had originally hired her, but she had invited her target back with her to pacify her friends. She glanced back again, this time long enough to study the newest member of their small group. He was handsome, she would give him that, but then, she had always had a soft spot for elves. She could understand Isabela wanting to spend some recreational time with him, though if the stories on the way to the Mercenary camp were true, then she had spent more than enough time with him already.

His skin was dark, and his blonde hair seemed to catch the sun at the perfect angle to turn it to a burnished gold. The tattoo on his face curved around his eye, and gave him a rakish appearance that she rather thought he used on purpose. He was more squarely built then most elves she had met, even Fenris who wielded a great sword with practiced ease, but then maybe even elves could have different body types. Or perhaps they simply build them studier in Antiva.

He was also in love with the Hero of Fereldan, the Warden Commander as Anders knew her. He had admitted as much to Isabela when she had asked if they were going to have sex. Strange to imagine. Didn't people in love usually stay together?

Pulled from her thoughts by the strangled noise behind her, she looked back to see a choked look on Merrill's face, and their new companion laughing heartily.

Merill struggled with her words as Hawke slowed to a stop, "That cannot be true. Mahariel was a noble member of our clan. She would not... would NOT help to run an... an assassins guild." The last words were strangled again as her face flushed and she huffed out a breathe, her eyes daring the still laughing man beside her to disagree.

"Ah", he sucked in a breathe and patted a friendly hand on her shoulder, withdrawing it quickly as her look darkened, though his face stayed open and friendly, "If it helps, they were ex assassins, who use to be part of a guild, and who she only lead for a little while." He sent Isabela a wink that had her wavering in her indignation, and letting out a chuckle.

He turned back to Merrill and patted her shoulder again as she sputtered, "I am afraid your Mahariel has done many things in the past few years that your clan would probably not approve of. The life of a warden is never easy."

"Leading a group of ex assassins is hardly Warden business." Hawke interjected before Merrill passed out from lack of air as she struggled with a reply.

"Ah, true enough, sweet Champion. She did that for me. My Warden is nothing if not helpful."

Hawke conceded him that point, but then again she knew nothing of the Hero of Fereldan, so had little to go on. Anders made a comment that _he_ could see her running such a group, and Merrill feel into annoyed silence. Continuing on they entered the city just as the sun slipped down past the mountains, and threw the streets into partial darkness.

Zevran turned amber eyes to her as they drew closer to The Hanged Man, and he made some joke about liking to be hung himself before giving an exaggerated bow and pulling the door open for her.

They stepped into absolute silence, something so rare for her groups haunt that Hawke immediately reaches for the sword and shield at her back. Her eyes searched the standing crowd, all turned into a circle around itself, focused on the bar, and takes a moment to note Varric and Fenris at the top of the stairs, before moving to the center of everyone's attention.

"Say it again."

The words are soft, underlined by a steel that seems cold even from so far away. She took in the speaker, who's back was facing the door, and blinked.

Maker, she was small.

From what Hawke could tell she barely reached the shoulders of the man she was talking to, and had the overly frail look that most elves were graced with. Her light brown hair was short and pulled back into a stub of a pony tail, and she was dressed in light brown leather armor. Two daggers, and a bow and arrow set were hooked to her back. She reached for none of it as the man cocked his head to the side, a sneer on his face. Hawke took a moment to note the man on the ground by their feet, clutching his stomach and gasping, before the standing man's words drew her attention again.

"I won't be taken off guard, knife ear. Apologize to my man, and find a way to ... repay us this trouble, or we will be forced to do something that you are sure to not like, bitch." The last word was said on a hiss, an added insult to an already tense situation.

Hawke could almost feel the girl smiling in the silent air.

"Of course, Serah." With those words her hand bunched into a fist, that then smashed directly into the sneer on the man's face. He grabbed at the inevitable spout of blood, and the world seem to explode.

Noise broke out as people rushed to pick sides in the ensuing fight. Hawke had just decided to picked the side of the small elf girl when she heard the blonde elf beside her whisper out a name.

"_Lyna?_"

Then he was off and running, his weapons sliding from their sheaths, and her companions were pelting after him, only Isabela turning long enough to shout back at Hawke, "It's the Hero." then she too was lost in the tumble of bodies.

Hawke managed to shoulder and fight her way to the center of the fray where her group had dashed off to, and noticed Varric and Fenris on the other side of the room doing the same. She smashed two heads together as she stumbled up to Anders, who was gritting his teeth, and shooting ice at the fighters around them.

It was over quickly. Not surprising since most everyone had given up once the elf girl toppled the ringleader of the group, and Hawke sent a warning glance around her, before focusing on what was being said.

The elf straddled the man's chest and leaned a casual arm on his shoulder. She was missing one of her daggers but the other was pressed under his throat, and her eyes were hard.

"Apologize." The word was said with the same steely undertone as before and the elf gave him a hard smile.

The man sneered again, through the blood smeared on his face, and started to say something rude. Before Hawke could blink the girl had reached behind her, as if knowing it would be there, and plucked Zevran's dagger from his outstretched hand, turning it and using the hilt to rap the man across the temple. She gave a cluck of her tongue and repeated her single order of apology. The man scowled this time, and complied.

The girl patted his cheek lightly, and said something to the effect of it not being so hard, and then stood to help him up, and pointed to the door. Without another word the man turned and made his way out, the crowd parting to let him through.

Hawke heard the patrons of the bar returning to their seats and drinks as she turned back to stare at the elf girl in front of her. She watched as she stood, her face transforming from cold to warm, and open and bright, as she locked her gaze on where Zevran was standing behind her.

Quick as a blink her weapons were on the floor, and she had her arms wrapped around his neck, her face, covered by swirls of black tattoos, breaking into a large smile, and her blue eyes dancing.

"I found you."

The words caught as Zevran locked his arms around her waist, lifting and spinning her into a laughing circle before crushing his mouth over hers.

Hawke angled her gaze to Isabela, who was wearing a tired smile, "So this is the Hero of Fereldan?"

Isabela just laughed and slung an arm over her shoulder, before giving a nod.

"Introductions will have to be made before Merrill, and Anders monopolize any time that Zev might give us with her. This will be interesting."

Hawke looked back to the embraced couple, and shook her head slightly, she could not help but agree.


	2. Chapter 2

**I will probably make minute changes to these chapters as I go. I always seem to notice something else that needs to be fixed. I won't be changing any of the actual story line, just changes to things that need fixing.**

**Short chapter. The next one will skip a few days, because otherwise things might start to get ridiculously long. No need for that.  
**

**Hope you like!  
**

Hawke watched as the small elf pushed, and dodged, and laughed as Zevran hauled her closer to him again, stopping any attempt she made to speak to the others standing around them. He merely gathered her closer and held her head in his hands when she tried to turn away, and pulled her into another deep kiss.

Hawke could see a blush forming across Merrill's cheeks, and heard her give a soft, "Oh my!" that caused the elf girl to give another shove, and place a hand over Zevran's mouth before he could pull her under again.

Her voice was breathless as she looked around the side of Zevran's head, "I know that voice," and then she was shoving harder and laughing, and tripping her way over to where Merrill stood, and drawing her into a hug.

"Lethallin!", Lyna nearly shouted the word, and then she was off and babbling, talking about something along the lines of Merrill not being there when she visited the clan, and how good it was to see her, and how had she been. Merrill was able to give only a short breathless reply before she was hauled into a hug again.

The process was repeated when Lyna noticed Anders, and had to do the same with him, and Hawke wondered for a moment why anyone even bothered trying to reply to her when she simply steamrolled over them with more questions.

She stalled only slightly at Isabela, a flush crossing the bridge of her nose, before hugging her as well.

Once the reunions were complete the introductions were started, and Hawke was finally able to get a good look at the... rather unimpressive woman in front of her. She had a vague thought that perhaps her friends were wrong, and that there was no way this small, bubbling, slip of an elf could be the legendary Hero of Ferelden.

She was a few inches shorter then Merrill, though not as soft around the edges due to her work with knives and bow, and stood with a relaxed grace that Merrill would never be able to match. Her short, light brown hair was falling out of her stubby pony tail, due to their recent fight, and her golden skin was dark in the glow of the firelight. She had dark blue eyes, and her face was covered with tattoos that were a heavy black color. They curled over her forehead and down under one eye. They rippled out from her mouth, and a flame danced over her nose. Hawke idly wondered how much all the lines must have hurt, and if it meant something that she was so much more heavily tattooed then her own Dalish companion. She was pretty in an elven sense, which meant her eyes were a bit to big, and her features a bit to sharp. She was also young. Hawke judged her at not much more then 25 or so, much younger then one would expect for a Hero of an entire county, especially when it meant she would not have been much past 17 at the time of her accomplishments.

Hawke took the outstretched hand, and looked into the smiling eyes, and said the first thought that came to her mind, "You stopped a blight?"

Lyna blinked once then let out a short laugh, and shook Hawke's hand lightly. "Well, I had some help," she said with a smile, "You killed the Arishok? I have known a few Qun, even the normal ones are not easy to fight."

Hawke shrugged her shoulders at the question, and dropped her hand, "It is not nearly as impressive as slaying an archdemon."

"Yes, but you did not have help, so it is quite impressive indeed," Lyna stated with another smile, and turned to introduce herself to Varric.

While Lyna laughed at something Varric said, Hawke watched her closely, still trying to wrap her mind around the woman in front of her. She did not seem old enough, strong enough, really anything enough to stand up to all the stories she had heard. This elf was suppose to be legendary. Amazing. Twenty feet tall, and able to cower even the most fearsome of enemies. Instead she was a small, young, cheerful woman who kept a hand wrapped around the belt of the assassin behind her, even as she let her other hand poke at Bianca, as if she was afraid he would disappear.

Hawke blinked as Lyna's hand dropped away from Zevran, taking a few steps closer to Fenris, even before he had finished telling her his name. She tilted her head up, and seemed about to press her face into his neck, her fingers coming up to tap lightly at the white lines there.

"Lyrium?"

The question was asked with open surprise, and Hawke believed that shock was really the only thing that kept Fenris from shoving a hand into her chest. Instead, he took a step back, his face registering confusion before his eyes narrowed and he shoved her hand away.

"What of it?" The words were said with caution, as if he expected her to try and ripped his skin off right there. Ignoring the shove, Lyna merely flicked her finger up again before meeting his gaze. "That must have hurt terribly," she whispered with sympathetic bluntness, before waving a hand and reaching to shake his. "That was probably rude. Very sorry. You are Fenris then. Always good to meet another elf."

Fenris merely shook his head once, then took her hand with a look that said he wasn't sure why he did it. He appeared to think for a moment, then said in a low tone, "How do you know it is lyrium?"

"I have spent more time in the fade, and the deep roads then I ever wanted to. I have fought demons, and dark spawn, and mages, and Paragons. You cannot do all that without knowing lyrium in intimate detail. It has... a smell." She wrinkled her nose at the last word, and rubbed a hand through her hair. "It gets on you, and stays, and no matter what you do it still takes days to go away. I could never forget that smell. I can smell it on you." She turned away as she finished, as if she had said the most natural thing, and missed the look of utter incredulity Fenris sent her.

"I have a smell?", he said with a little stutter, and she turned back to him with a bright smile. "Oh, nothing horrible or anything. It's actually quite nice on you, and I don't think anyone else would know it." Another smile and a pat on Fenris' arm, and then she was being tugged away by Zevran, who was calling over his shoulder to Isabela to see what room was hers. Lyna merely laughed and sent a shout back at them that she would love to talk to everyone later, and could they please get her weapons, and then they both disappeared up the stairs.

Hawke merely stared after them a moment before turning to Fenris, who still had a confused look on his face, while he rubbed at the arm that had just been patted.

"Touchy, isn't she." Hawke stated it with a half smile, taking delight in his discomfort, thinking he wasn't discomforted enough, and waited for his low response.

"Yes, very," he replied as he dropped his arm, meeting her gaze a moment with a scowl, and muttered something she couldn't hear, but that caused her to laugh anyway. She slapped a hand on Varric's back, and asked if Wicked Grace was still on for the night. At his nod she ushered him and the others up the stairs to his private rooms, deciding that standing around in varying states of confusion would not help anything. Taking a look at the common room, she took a moment to jog back down the stairs and pick up the discarded daggers on the floor. Might as well be friendly, who knows when you might need a Hero on your side, even a small one.


	3. Chapter 3

**I discovered line breaks!**

**Before anyone asks, I am basing my warden in this story on one that I played recently. She had maxed out persuasion, and cunning, and seemed to be able to talk anyone into anything she wanted. Because of this it seemed logical that she could talk Fenris into letting them crash in one of the MANY rooms in his mansion... creative license...right.  
**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I plan on getting more into the quests, and actual fighting and stuff, but I felt it was important that Hawke and Lyna get some time getting to know each other before just bursting into a fight. Besides, I am not good at writing fights. I know it, the story knows it, and I am very sure even Bioware knows it, so I am putting it off, and working on it slowly, for as long as I can.  
**

**Thanks to everyone who has put this on alert, or as a favorite, or commented, you make Zan feel all squishy inside... In a good way... not creepy at all... ok, I'm just going to go over here now...**

* * *

She needed to get out of this city. It was too serious, to chaotic, to bloody repressive, and if she had to stop another fight between Merideth, and Orsino, like they were squabbling children, she was going to kill someone. Probably herself.

She took the job of finding a noble woman's grey warden brother, not because she was particularly interested in doing so, but merely to get out of this Maker forsaken city. Even if only for a few days. She needed a break, and how sad was it that the deeps roads seemed like one?

She just needed help getting there, and tracking this brother down. Fenris and Merrill had already agreed, and she hoped to get help from Anders also, seeing as he would be the one who could point them in the right direction, she just needed to convince him first. He hated the deep roads, but then, so did she.

She made her way down to his clinic, from the basement entrance of her mansion, and stopped short when she saw him talking with Lyna while working a bandage around her arm. She slipped to the side, to come around from behind where they were sitting. She didn't want to eavesdrop per se, but they had been amazingly tight lipped about working together around everyone, including her.

"Just a small fall; I was trying to prove a point." She could hear the smile in Lyna's voice, and the answering one as Anders replied, "And did you?"

"Obviously not, seeing as I have the gash in my arm, and have to sit here, while Zev is off collecting my things from my camp. I have been practicing my leaps, but I have never been good at them, I'm too short." The last part was said on a sigh, her voice small as if it was a long suffered problem.

Anders laughed lightly as he sat back, "I remember you falling down that hole in Amaranthine while we chased the mercenaries trying to smuggle supplies. You missed your footing, and ended up 10 feet below us, covered in dirt... and the Mercenaries got away. You should have learned your lesson then."

"Don't remind me, I was mortified. At least we caught them later," Lyna said, rubbing a hand over her face, "Creators, why did you all follow me? I was a mess. Eighteen, out of my depth, and no clue how to be a Commander to an entire fortress."

Anders smiled, and rubbed a hand over her shoulder before standing, "You were good at your job, even if you couldn't jump worth anything, and besides you gave us good reason to follow you. You are as good at making people want to help you as you are bad at jumping. Well that and Ser- Pounce - Alot, I had to repay you for him."

Lyna returned his smile, and glanced to the side where Hawke leaned, casually, as if she had no other pressing concerns, and had been there for ages. "Marian, hello," Lyna said, and turned to her fully, Anders following suite.

Hawke pushed from the wall, and gave them both a bright grin, brushing off the thought that she had not seen Anders ever look so relaxed, especially not around her; he hadn't relaxed around her in almost 4 years.

Still smiling she said, "Anders, my favorite apostate, I have a job that could really use your... unique expertise," before he could reply she barreled on, "You see I have a thing I promised a woman I would do. The problem is, it requires, the deep roads-" Anders held up a hand, his face darkening, but she continued on as if she did not see him, "and Grey Wardens, and oh I'm sure a whole mess of dark spawn."

She continued to smile, even as he shook his head, the other hand coming up to join the first in front of him, "No... No, no, no. You promised me no more deep roads. Not after Corypheus."

She opened her mouth to argue, when a voice spoke up, surprising them both, "I'll take you."

She turned to look at Lyna, who was staring back at her, the smile still on her face, "If you need help finding something involving grey wardens, and dark spawn, I have no problem doing so. I heard about Corypheus, dreadful that. I don't blame Anders for not wanting to go."

Hawke could see Anders about to argue against it, and stepped closer to hold up a hand to him, her eyes not leaving Lyna's, "Are you sure... I wouldn't want to presume, and I am pretty sure I will be flayed alive by most of my friends if you went and something happened."

Lyna laughed brightly and waved a hand, "Oh, don't worry about me, we just need to make a stop at Fenris' mansion first to pick up my gear, and Zev, seeing as I doubt he would let me go without him," she turned to leave, shouting a goodbye over her shoulder to Anders, even as Hawke tried to wrap her brain around what she had just said.

"Fenris' mansion... why is your stuff there?" She said, jogging to keep up after her own hasty goodbye. Lyna looked over to her, and gave a shrug, "He is letting me and Zev stay in one of the rooms. It's a bit worse for the wear, but it is one of the last places anyone would look for us." Hawke shook her head slowly, another conversation for another time, instead she glanced at the elf's arm and said, "So why not just have Anders heal it with magic?"

"My own fault for hurting myself, I have to deal with the consequences. Helps to remind me not to make stupid decisions. Better a cut arm from trying to impress Zevran, than a broken leg from trying to do something equally as dumb during important circumstances," Lyna said with another shrug as she turned up the stairs that lead to Hightown. Hawke thought that over a moment and nodded as she said, "Makes sense I guess, though I would just as soon not get hurt at all."

Lyna laughed at that, and agreed that she would rather not be hurt also. They made the rest of the trek in companionable silence.

* * *

They made it to the mansion, just as Fenris stepped out the door, strapping his great sword to his back, his face knotted into a scowl. Lifting his gaze he took in Hawke, his face clearing for a moment before seeing who was next to her; his face darkened again, "Warden, I will not be subject to listening to that assassin's many ideas regarding what he thinks I should and should not do in my personal life. I did not agree to let you stay with me so I would have company. I hate company, and I would gladly resend my offer if that is a problem."

"You can't hate all company. You spend most of your time with Hawke, and you don't seem the type to do something unless you wanted to, " Lyna stated innocently, even as she waved a hand at his protests, "No no, I can see you are set into your brood, so I won't argue with you. I will talk to Zevran, and make sure he understands that not everyone wants or needs his advice." She glanced back at Hawke as she slipped past them into the building, her words floating back, "Give me a few hours to get my things, and catch Zev up, and I will meet you at your home, Marian," and then she was gone, leaving Hawke with Fenris, who had somehow managed to scowl even more.

"They are coming with us to the deep roads?"

Hawke nodded, and glanced over to him, her hip resting casually on the wall, "She offered to help, when Anders refused. " Fenris gave a sigh, and shook his head, "I suddenly wish I had done the same," and then he was walking past her, muttering curses under his breath. After a few moments, Hawke followed him, laughing.

* * *

It was dark, and oppressive, and she couldn't sleep. They had reached the deep roads entrance just two nights before, and they were slowly and steadily making their way to the Thaig where Nathanial, the noble woman's brother, was suppose to be. Lyna had told them, on the trek in, that she knew of the mission the grey wardens were on, and no she couldn't discuss it, but that she would definitely want to know if something had gone wrong. She had stated that while she didn't wear the uniform, she was still a grey warden, still helped them, and Ferelden, when needed; unlike Anders, who liked to pretend they didn't exist.

She rolled over on her sleeping mat, her eyes adjusting to the faint gloom, as she listened to the sounds of her companions sleeping. She didn't know how they managed it, maybe they didn't get the same feelings of being crushed as she did. Too many bad memories, to many hard decisions. She couldn't help but think of their first trip here, when everything had gone so wrong, and she had lost her sister to the grey wardens.

Sitting up, she glanced around at the various lumps of the others, before noticing the figure sitting at the edge of the chasm they were camped near. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust, and for her to label the figure as Lyna, setting with her legs dangling over the edge, her shoulders hunched in her armor as she stared over the side. Getting up slowly, as to not wake those around her, Hawke made her way over to the still figure, unsure if she was even noticed until blue eyes met hers, and a friendly smile appeared.

"Can't sleep?" Lyna asked quietly, as Hawke settled beside her, her gaze moving back to the darkness below them. Hawke turned her gaze there as well as she said, "No. I guess not. It makes me think of my sister." Lyna made a small sound of agreement; they had discussed Hawke's sister the day after Lyna had come to Kirkwall. Hawke discovered that she had met her a few times in passing over the years, a small comfort, and that she had adjusted well. It wasn't much, but more than Hawke had been able to find out for herself the handful of times she had seen Bethany since she had joined.

She took a moment to look over at Lyna again, noting that she had a more serious look on her face then she had ever seen before. It was the first time that she could see something of a commander in her, could see what it was that might get a splintered nation to follow her into an almost hopeless battle. "Can't sleep either?" Hawke asked casually, her eyes moving to look across the gap at the veins of lyrium coursing through the walls.

The elf took a moment in answering, as if she wasn't sure she should, before saying, "No. I have never been able to sleep down here. Not well at any rate, not until I can't hold my eyes open anymore. They are too close, to overbearing," She fell silent a moment before adding, in a whisper, "I can feel them in my head."

Hawke blinked a few times then looked back over to the small form beside her, a wave of guilt hitting her, "I had no idea. I would never have let you come," she stumbled a moment, "I am sorry," she finished quietly, her eyes looking away again.

Giving a shake of her head, Lyna shrugged her shoulders, a smile hinting on her lips as she looked back to Hawke, "No need to apologize, it's not as if I came here blind. I knew what to expect. You needed help." It was said simply, as if there was no reason she should not have come, should not have aided in something she had no stake in.

"Not many people would think like that," Hawke stated bluntly, and Lyna let out a small laugh. "Yes, well that's half the problem with this world I think. No one wants to be involved in helping with things that aren't their concern." She paused, causing Hawke to look back over to her, before continuing, " Well, Marian, I can assure you, as long as I am in Kirkwall, you can rely on my help."

Hawke smiled in return before asking something that had been bothering her for several days, "Why do you call me that? Marian, I mean. No one calls me that but my mother, and sometimes my sister, if she can be bothered."

Lyna looked back over the expanse, and gave another shrug, "It's your name."

"Hawke is my name too, and that seems to be what most people go with."

"Hawke might be your name, but it is also a title, like Champion. They are synonymous. it might still be simply a name among your friends, but what about everyone else? Sometimes it's nice to remember that you have an actual name. That you are an actual person , and not just a symbol." Glancing at Hawke from the corner of her eye, Lyna continued, " If it bothers you, I can call you Hawke"

Hawke took that in a moment, thinking it over, before replying. "No, it's alright. I just didn't know why. I suppose it's a lot like everyone calling you the Hero."

Lyna gave a nod, "Commander, Grey Warden, Hero of Ferelden, even Mahariel. It's nice to remember that I use to just be Lyna," she glanced over her shoulder to where Zevran laid sprawled across the ground, his arm thrown over his face, and his hand curling into her empty pillow, "can still just be Lyna."

Hawke followed her gaze, and smiled slightly, "Strange thing, a hero tying herself to a hunted assassin."

"I didn't have much of a choice. By the time I realized what was going on, I was in love with him," Lyna said, her smile growing, "It might have been easier if he hadn't been what he is, but then I doubt he would be who he is." Lyna's smile turned sly, and her gaze angled back to Hawke, "I don't suppose it's any more inconvenient then being in love with a hunted former elven slave, who has anger issues with the world, and refuses to acknowledge his feelings for you."

Hawke opened her mouth to argue that Fenris had reason to be angry, when she caught herself, and the laugh that bubbled from Lyna, as she closed her lips, and gave a scowl. "What makes you think I am in love with Fenris, let alone that he returns the feelings?" Lyna let the laugh escape as she gave a pat to Hawke's back, "Because when he thinks no one is paying attention, he look at you as if he wants to swallow you whole, and you do the same." She pulled her legs up out of the chasm, and wrapped her arms around them, "Zev had the same problem for awhile. He even asked me once how anyone is suppose to knows they are in love, but I am saying too much, that story is his. Sometimes, when someone doesn't have anything to base it against, it's hard to... adjust to feelings. I had my clan, you had your family," Lyna looked back at the sleeping party again as she spoke, " He is lucky he chose you."

Hawke raised a brow, and tilted her head before glancing over to Fenris' sleeping form, "Oh?"

Lyna nodded, and laid her chin on her knees before replying, "Yes."

They sat in silence for awhile, both lost in their thoughts. Finally, Lyna stood, her limbs unfolding as if she hadn't moved in days, and her face boasting a smile again as she turned back to Hawke, "You should get some sleep. We have a long way ahead of us, if my feelings are correct. I am going to go patrol, make sure we aren't about to be eaten by spiders."

One last smile, and a quick stop by her pack for her daggers, and the Warden was gone, disappearing down one of the side passages. Hawke sat a few minutes longer before standing herself, and making her way back to her makeshift bed. She laid for awhile, wondering if Lyna meant to stay gone the rest of the night, before drifting into a fitful sleep.

When Hawke woke a few hours later, Fenris and Merrill were packing their gear, preparing for more travel. As Merrill noticed her awaken, and called over that she had some food set aside for her for breakfast, Hawke scanned the area for the two elves she couldn't see. She finally noticed them, back at the edge of the chasm, Lyna sitting with her head back on her knees, and Zevran beside her, his fingers playing idly with the loose strands of her hair. She had a pinched look on her face, and she was talking steadily, while he merely listened, a half smile playing across his features from time to time, which seemed to cause her face to relax.

Zevran noticed Hawke's gaze first, and said something that had Lyna looking over, her face clearing, before they both stood to make their way back over to the camp. Hawke noticed dark blood splattered across Lyna's armor, but a questioning look was only answered with a shrug, and a short, "Spiders." before she turned to start packing her things, Zevran following suite.

An hour later they were fed, and packed, and picking their way through the ruins that use to be a dwarven city. Hawke half listened to the conversation Merrill was having with Lyna, as her thoughts strayed back to the night before. Not paying attention, she miss-stepped, and slammed into the back of Fenris, her nose hitting his sword with a resounding crack, and a curse slipping from her lips. Everyone stopped to make sure she was alright, and she waved off the concern with a joke that seemed to appease everyone but Fenris himself, who stared at her with lowered brows. Taking her arm, he moved her in front of him, saying something about needing to be behind her so if she fell at least someone could catch her. Smiling slightly and rubbing her nose, Hawke felt his hand on her arm, and thought that perhaps she was lucky too.


	4. Chapter 4

**This was originally part of a longer chapter, but I decided to break it up. There probably won't be an update for the next several days. On top of my brother in law graduating high school, I have to be an adult, and work on school work. Instead of getting to write about something I enjoy, I get to write about Oppositional Defiance Disorder among teens for one of my graduate classes. Fun!**

**I will also take a day and go back to correct some of the grammatical and spelling errors in the other chapters. I have noticed them, and haven't had a chance to correct, and they have been driving me crazy!  
**

**Again I hope you all like this chapter, and see you some time next week!**

* * *

"My sweet Champion. Has anyone ever told you that you are a beauty among women?" Hawke glanced over at the comment, failing to have noticed Zevran at her side until that moment. They had been walking in relative quiet, only the occasional murmurs from the two female elves at the back of the group to break up the silence. Her brows lowering over her eyes, she stared at him a moment before replying, "Excuse me?"

"Hair as black as a starless night, eyes the color of the clearest ocean," Zevran punctuated his words with a wave of his hand, "Skin as white as new cream, and a body... " now his hands made a more definitive gesture that drew a grin from her lips, " Well, let's just say that your armor can make a man think all sorts of things. You, my beauty, should let me take you to Antiva."

Hawke let out a chuckle, and turned her head to look at him more directly, "Should I?"

Zevran smiled slightly, glancing to her for a moment, "Ah yes, there you would be treated as the goddess that you are. Showered with gifts, and amorous affection." He tilted her another look as she asked what she would want that for, "Because with your beauty, and talents with a blade, you would have men, and women, kneeling at your feet, " He threw a hand out, as if to emphasize his point, "Anyone you want, there for your choosing."

Laughing again, enjoying the game, Hawke shot him a sly smile, "Anyone? What if I wanted you?"

"Say the word, beautiful Marian, and I am yours." He slung an arm around her waist, and dipped his head close to hers, both of them smiling widely, when they heard the throat being cleared behind them.

"Do you really think you should carry on so with your... partner so close by?" Fenris asked with a low voice, and darkened face, his hand clenching at his side, as if he wanted to reach out with it.

Zevran glanced back at the brooding elf, his smile never faltering. "Very true, perhaps I should be more discreet." he tilted his head back to Hawke's, his voice, accented more strongly than usual, flitting in her ear, talking about what he fancied, and all manner of things that could be done if she had some rope.

When a blush spread across her cheeks, and Fenris looked as if he might explode in anger, Lyna's voice rang out, and she was suddenly standing next to the trio, a smile on her face as she tugged at Zevran's arm. "Enough enough. Really, Zev, you should probably back off before Fenris cleaves you in two."

She tugged him back, moving him out of Fenris' path, and wrapping her arms around one of his. "As I have said before, Zevran Arainai, you are a saint among men. But, perhaps you could better choose your targets. I would hate to have to stitch you back together."

He smiled back at her, and, disentangling himself from her arms, slipped his hand around her waist, pulling her closer, "You are correct. Merrill then?"

Lyna laughed and waved her hand. "By all means. If you can get her to guess what you are even talking about, and then not have her die of embarrassment, she is yours for the taking. It would give me a chance to take up some offers of my own."

As she finished talking, Zevran wrapped his other arm around her, and stating to the others that he thought this was a good place to stop for the night, dragged her down a side passage, and out of sight.

"They are being foolish. Really, Hawke, we would have been better off with the abomination." Fenris was scowling at her, his shoulders slumped forward, as Hawke drew to a stop, and set her bag to the side. Looking back at him, she said with a small smile, "Well he is correct that it is time to stop for the night. What does it matter if they enjoy the rest?" She settled onto a rock, and shot him another look, "Jealous? You know, I hear he find men equally appealing. Perhaps, you just felt left out?"

Fenris merely turned away from her, and set about taking out his bed roll, ignoring the amused look she was giving him.

Hawke let out a laughing breathe, and turned to look at Merrill as she settled beside her. "Did I miss something dirty again?" It was asked with a frown, and Hawke blinked once before letting out another laugh. "Yes, Merrill, but perhaps this time it is better that you did."

* * *

The elves returned a short time later, settling in with the others, and picking up their share of dinner. Hawke had just decided that she would refrain from causing Fenris more distress by commenting that they looked very relaxed, when Lyna spoke up. "We will reach dark spawn tomorrow, we should all be ready." her voice was calm, and she leaned slightly against Zevran's knee as he sat behind her. "Not an overwhelming amount, but if Nathanial is to be found it will be there."

The others stared at the Warden for a moment, but all seemed to take her at her word because all that was given in reply were nods. Hawke wondered briefly how she managed to shift so swiftly in her moods, and then decided perhaps it was not something she wanted to know. If she knew, she might have to use it herself.

They finished their meal in relative silence, though Merrill and Lyna still occasional exchanged comments, and turned in early for the night.

Hawke settled under her blanket and glanced around to make sure that everyone was accounted for. Fenris and Merrill were both settled, and appeared to be drifting off rather quickly. Her gaze had just turned to the others when she heard Zevran's voice from across the fire. "Get some sleep, Champion, I will keep watch for awhile." She focused on his wavering figure, the heat of the fire making him ill defined, and noticed he sat with his back against a rock, Lyna's head pillowed on his lap, her figure curled under his arm.

Was it really so easy? So simple? Just have someone put an arm around you, and promise to stay awake, and problems would be forgotten? Would that really do anything to stop the dreams?

She gave him a nod, and a word of thanks, and turned her back on them, feeling for the first time like an invader in their moment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well The long weekend of homework is over, but now I am sick. Bad news because I feel icky. Good news because I get to sit around and write things.  
I would like to thank Youtube and all the lovely posters there for this chapter. It is nice to be able to watch videos of things in the game, so I don't have to play through every time I want to remember a line.**

**Makes Zan's life much easier.**

**Very sorry if the, kinda action, I put in here sucks. I did warn you I am not overly good at it.  
**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The area around them was starting to look more and more familiar. Hawke noted it as the area that they had found Sandal in after he had been lost during their first trip. They had been walking most of the morning in tense silence, Lyna's words the night before keeping them all on edge as they crept slowly through the faintly lit tunnels. She glanced over to where Lyna was walking a little ways behind her, and raised a brow, "Any tingly darkspawn feelings?"

Even as she said it, Lyna was pulling her bow over her shoulder, and notching an arrow, her face and posture showing she was in the "Warden" mindset, as Hawke had come to think of it. She glanced back at Hawke, and nodded her head in the direction they were walking. Taking the cue, Hawke pulled her shield and sword off her back, and could hear as their companions readied their own weapons.

As they walked slowly through the door, Lyna slightly behind Hawke, with her arrow tilted around her shield, Hawke had a brief moment to register a man fighting at the end of the cavern, even as they were overwhelmed by their own group of horrors.

Hawke managed to slash through two foes, Lyna still slightly behind her, loosing arrows, before she heard the elf mutter angrily under her breathe about bows never being good in the Deep Roads. She heard a clatter then felt as Lyna brushed passed her, daggers sliding free, as she joined the more immediate fray.

Fighting her way farther into the cavern, Hawke felt a jolt of power run from her sword to her hand, and knew that Merrill had enhanced the weapon. Sliding the steel into the creature in front of her, she watched as small bolts of electricity danced around it's body, and smiled grimly as she turned to bash her shield into another that was to her side.

Slowly working their way to the lone man, Hawke faintly registered Fenris giving an angry yell, and a laugh from Zevran before running to Merrill's side, shielding her at the last moment as one of the darkspawn raised its club to bring down over her. Merrill set her features as Hawke gave a grunt at the impact, and shot her arm out angrily toward the creature, a bolt of lightning breaking from her fingertips, and into its body. Panting slightly Hawke turned to see the man shooting an arrow into the last of the darkspawn, his back to them. Putting her weapons away, she ran a hand through her short hair, and straightened, a tilted smile plastering itself to her face.

"Nathaniel Howe?"

He turned around at the question, his face registering faint surprise as he reshouldered his bow. Hawke took in dark shoulder length hair, and an overly sharp nose before focusing on what he was saying. "You're the champion of Kirkwall aren't you?"

Hawke gave a small nod, her arms crossing over her chest, as he came closer to them. He noted her nod, and then scanned over her companions, his gaze coming to rest just past her shoulder. "And... Commander?" The surprise was back on his face, and Hawke looked back to Lyna. She had reclaimed her bow, and was leaning on it slightly, her legs crossed as she smiled at the man before them, "Hello, Nathaniel." She then nodded her head toward Hawke, and Nathaniel turned his gaze back to her.

"You followed my expedition into the deep roads. Why?" Hawke asked, her head tilting slightly when Nathaniel gave a tight sigh. "You went farther into the Deep Roads than anyone thought possible. The First Warden himself ordered this investigation." He shifted slightly, glancing back to Lyna before continuing, "I was offered a generous portion of the salvage, plus extra coin upfront to discourage any... curiosity." Hawke looked to the litter of bodies surrounding them and said, "It looks like you met heavy resistance."

Nathaniel gave a grave nod toward Lyna. "After the Warden Commander killed the Architect, we thought it would be decades until the Deep Roads were infested again." He stepped away from them, turning to stare out into the open cavern behind him. "The Warden's allies assured us that these tunnels would still be mostly clear, but it seems they were wrong."

Hawke rubbed a hand over her chin before refolding her arms, "They seem to know a great deal about darkspawn. Are these allies dwarves?" As she finished her question, Lyna burst into a fit of coughing, causing Hawke to look back at her. She was bent over slightly, clinging to her bow with one hand, as the other waved frantically. After a few moments she got herself under control, her eyes bright from watering as she straightened again, and sent Nathaniel a look that Hawke couldn't quite figure out.

She turned her attention back the him, noting he was facing them again, and watched as he flitted a glance between her and Lyna, his mouth opening once then shutting again. He finally gave a sigh, and reach a hand up to rub his forehead. "No, not dwarves. It's... complicated. Let's just say we live in strange times."

Curious. Obviously she wasn't going to get a straight answer from him about it, and if Lyna's reaction was any indication, she wasn't going to find her any more forthcoming. Biting back a sigh, Hawke decided to save questions on that for another time, maybe when the Warden was drunk. If the she got drunk that was.

She shifted slightly, going a different route. "Who is the Architect?" Nathaniel seemed to relax at that question, clearly on more comfortable ground. "The Architect was the first of the thinking and feeling darkpawn." he gave a small frown, "Very Dangerous. He spread his... "gift" to other darkspawn - the disciples. Fortunately, their numbers are few." His gaze moved back to Lyna for a moment, but the elf was remaining stubbornly quiet, her face still unreadable, at least by Hawke.

"I don't remember drawing anyone a map to the thaig. Who told you about it?"

"An unfortunate dwarf named Bartrand. We weren't sure his information was reliable, but contacting you or Varric was deemed risky." Annoyance washed over his features as he very pointedly looked to the Warden this time, though his words were still for Hawke, "We feared that you would return if you knew of our interest in the thiag." His face seemed to darken even more when she merely raised a brow in return. Interesting. Apparently Lyna was breaking some rule, though whether it was because she had come here with Hawke, or had not told the Grey Warden she had contact with her was not as clear.

Politics again. No she wasn't getting into more of those. Not here. Rolling her eyes, she dropped her arms, and started to turn away, "We should bring your sister the good news."

Nathaniel stepped after them, his hand raising, "I cannot leave now. When we were attacked I was separated from the rest of my expedition. Some of them may yet live." Lyna paused in putting her bow up, her eyes darting from Nathaniel to Hawke. She started to say something, but stopped herself; clearly putting Hawke in control of the situation. How hard was that, Hawke wondered. To give control over to someone else, when you were usually the one to make decisions, the one in charge. She thought briefly that she, at least, would be uncomfortable with it, and turned back to Nathaniel.

He had turned away from her again, his voice washing back over his shoulder, as if he already knew they would follow him, "We must go deeper into the tunnels to rescue them."

Hawke made her way to his side, her voice curious, "Who else could still be alive?" Relief seemed to wash over him at the knowledge that at least she wasn't just leaving. "Some of the Wardens survived the initial ambush. I think the dwarf we brought from Vigil's Keep survived..." His voice trailed off, unsure, "but who still lives? Only the Maker knows."

Feeling Lyna's eyes on her back, and noting the look that Nathaniel was giving her, she glanced back at everyone else. "We have survivors to find. Let's go." She briefly saw the relieved smile Lyna sent her before motioning for Nathaniel to lead the way. He gave a nod, "we should move." Looking down at Lyna, he took his bow from his back, "Stay alert for darkspawn."

The two Wardens moved forward of the rest, Hawke right behind them, with the others trailing after. This was one thing Hawke had no problem relinquishing control of. Let the Wardens run into the darkspawn first.

* * *

They met only small groups of dark spawn as they advanced into the ruins. Making their way up a set of stairs they were greeted by a dwarf who came forward to slap Nathaniel on the shoulder. "Master Howe, you live." Nathaniel smiled in response before saying, "Temmerin. Good man! Are there any other survivors?" Temmerin glanced over his shoulder, further down the tunnel, "Hopefully up ahead."

Turning to the rest of the group, the dwarf gave a nod. "Well met are strangers in the belly of the earth." he turned back to Nathaniel, "I hope Ser Fenley won't mind but I set up the explosives, here and there", his words were punctuated with a point of his finger to two barrels a ways off from them. "Figured I'd blow up as many of the 'spawn as I could before I embraced the stone," it was said with a tilted smile, though relief shown on his face.

Taking in the barrels, Hawke remembered similar ones from her dealings with the Qun, and looked back to the dwarf. "How did you manage to get Qunari explosives?" Temmerin frowned at the question, his face setting into a scowl, "These aren't Qunari explosives. They're dwarven made. And don't you forget it."

Hawke gave a small "oh" and looked over to Nathaniel, when he spoke up, a smile in his voice. "Temmerin's cousin Dworkin made the explosives back in Vigil's Keep."

Lyna let out a giggle. A giggle. Hawke had to check herself at the overly girlish noise, and looked to were the elf was standing, her eyes bright as she looked back. "Mad exploding short person." She seemed to be quoting it, then she was covering her mouth, as she shared an amused glance with Nathaniel, and the giggle turned into a bright laugh. Shaking his head Nathaniel turned back to Hawke, his voice trying to sound exasperated as the laughing continued. "He is brilliant, but a little obsessed. The Commander, of course, encouraged him." Another glance at Lyna's still laughing figure, "Perhaps too much."

"Dworkin is a visionary, and his ability to make explosives like the Qunari is something that should be encouraged. Of course I encouraged him. he should be making them" Her voice shook as she tried to reign in the humor.

"Aye, and that he did... before the sodding Qunari forced him into hiding." Temmerin muttered with a shake of his head. Lyna gave a nod, "They do take theirs very seriously."

After everything she had seen over the years, Hawke couldn't help but agree. Trying to get back on track she glanced over to the barrels, "What were you doing with these explosives?"

Nathaniel answered first, "We were prepared to do extensive excavations around the thaig you found." Temmerin nodded in agreement, "A few well placed 'booms' prove most efficacious at clearing rubble."

Explosives, sounded like fun, though Hawke doesn't say that, knowing the response she would get from most of the others. Instead she said, "These explosives could kill a great many darkspawn." Nathaniel gave a nod and shot a thumb over his shoulder. "Temmerin, the way back is clear. Send word to the Wardens in case we don't make it." Hawke heard Lyna say something about Nathaniel being ever the optimist, but the dwarf was trying to get their attention. "Aye. I've set explosives all along the tunnels." He moved past them, back the way they had came, calling back over his shoulder, "Blow up as many of the sodding 'spawn as you can. Luck to you both."

When he was out of site, Hawke turned back to Nathaniel and Lyna, and made a gesture for them to continue on their way. With a nod they set off side by side down the tunnel. Weapons ready.

They made their way further in, and Hawke thought she could hear the sound of distant fighting. She must have, because the two Wardens were suddenly jogging ahead of them, shouting to each other tersely. Lyna pulled the quiver from her back, tossing it to Nathaniel, and caught the bottle he threw in return. They had gotten a good ways ahead of the others before it had sunk in that something was going on, and so they had both disappeared around a corner before the others picked up their pace.

They rounded the corner just as Lyna threw the bottle onto the floor at the feet of a group of darkspawn, bathing them in smoke, before she disappeared into it herself. Hawke scanned the room in front of her. It was filled with the foul creatures. She noted Nathaniel at the top of the steps, firing arrows at exposed targets, Merrill beside him throwing spells. Fenris and Zevran had disappeared into the smoke after Lyna. She had just started down the stairs herself when she saw the figure in the center of the room. Dark hair, pale skin, fire shooting out around her.

Bethany.

Then she noticed the ogre. Looming over the form of her sister, even as she tried to freeze him in place. She noted that the others were trying to make their way to her, the smoke a way to mask their movements.

She got a flash, a brief second of memory. An ogre. Carver lifting into the air. Carver broken on the ground.

She didn't even realize she was moving until she was halfway across the room, sword slicing, and shield shoving harshly into anything in her way. She made it to her sister's side just as the beast stopped in the ice. She dropped her shield, and raising her sword above her head, she made a small jump and sunk the blade into its neck.

The rest of the darkspawn were finished off quickly, carved through by the blades and spells of the group.

Hawke shoved her blade over her back, her shield following suite, before turning to face her sister.

"Bethany."

Bethany stared at her a moment, her face a mix of emotions; when she spoke, her voice was breathless, "Is that really you?" Confusion won over other emotions. "Why would you come back here if you didn't have to?"

Nathaniel broke in before Hawke could reply. "You know each other?" Bethany looked over to him, her arms folding across her chest, her face going blank, "She is my sister." He gave a nod in reply, Lyna coming up to tug at his arm gently, trying to lead him away from the two women.

Hawke stared at Bethany, a small smile forming, "A little smile for me, Sister? It's been years." Her voice softened a bit, " I've missed you." Bethany's face fell, sorrow filling her eyes a moment before a shutter came down. She seemed to hug her arms tighter as she spoke, "If I let myself miss you... and Carver, and Mother. I couldn't go on" She gave a shake of her head, "It's better not to feel."

Hawke struggled with a way to reply to that, unsure of what to say. She had never seen her sister look at her like that, like she didn't even know her. Gone was the smiling Bethany. Bright Bethany. The happy one who could make even Carver smile. She didn't know this woman, standing so still and closed off in front of her, and it broke her heart. She had done her sister no favors by taking her on that cursed trip so many years ago, none at all. Worse it had been selfishness, a hope to have someone with her that she knew, even as she knew her mother was right, and she should have left Bethany at home. Guilt crushed her. Now Bethany was the one that was alone.

"I...uh." her words were stilted, "I won't try to cheer you up then."

She wanted to say more, was planning on saying more, when she noticed Nathaniel and Lyna both turn, hands reaching for weapons even as Nathaniel spoke, "we don't have time for this. The darkspawn approach."

The fight went quickly. Even with another ogre, they were quickly victorious with so many fighting. When it was over Hawke was surprised to hear Nathaniel's voice ring out, more hopeful sounding then she had heard it yet. "For the first time since I've been down here, I don't sense a single darkspawn." He paused a moment as if considering, and then sent a smile that encompassed the group. "We've won."

The smile dropped as he composed himself, starting to the pile of bodies, in order to pull any unbroken arrows out. "The route to the surface should be safe now."

Stopping what he was doing for a moment, he shot Hawke a considering look. "Because of you, I will be able to see my sister and nephew again." Reaching into his pocket he produced a chain, and walked over momentarily to grab Hawke's hand and place it within. "Please, take this with my blessing." He moved back to the arrows, still talking. "I apologize I couldn't answer all your questions." He looked sideways to where Lyna had moved to speak with Zevran. "You may have them yet, in the fullness of time."

Hawke sent him a half smile, her head giving a shake. "Stay safe Nathaniel." He returned the look and pulled out the last of the salvageable arrows. Hawke watched, half interested as Lyna made her way over to him, pulling him to the side, where they spoke in hushed tones. Her eyes strayed to Bethany, who stood away from the group, her face turned away from them, her shoulders held unnaturally straight. She thought for a moment she should say something, but the pose spoke volumes. Bethany did not want her to speak, did not want her to try and say anything.

She let out a short breathe, scrubbing at her hair, and started to turn away when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back at Fenris, who wasn't looking at her, but rather off to where the Wardens talked. She thought briefly about pulling away. Using his line from all those years ago.

_Do not comfort me._

Instead she stayed where she was, willing herself to relax. He was trying. Who was she to turn him away?

She watched silently as Lyna clasped arms with Nathaniel, the two smiling warmly at each other. She watched as she moved to Bethany, saying something in soft tones that caused her sister to give a strained smile, and a nod. Glad, at least, to see Bethany was willing to talk to someone.

She watched as Bethany and Nathaniel disappeared up a set of stairs, and tried not to think about why she felt so lost.

Giving herself a mental shake she turned to Lyna, as the elf made her way back over to them. She strained to think of something else to talk about. Anything to take her mind off Bethany. "So, I am guessing that Nathaniel worked with you."

Lyna gave a blink then a nod, reattaching her quiver. "Yes, he worked with me and Anders in Amaranthine."

"Why do none of the people who followed you wear the uniform?" She hadn't even realized she had asked the question out loud until she heard Lyna laughingly say, "I guess I am a bad influence. I never liked it myself."

"Did you bring him in, as you did Anders?"

Lyna nodded, "Well mostly. I brought in Anders because he helped me, and the templar with Alistair wanted to kill him." Hawke looked over, "I am guessing Nathaniel wasn't trying to help you."

Lyna shook her head, and gave a smirk as she glanced at Zevran. "No. Actually, he was trying to kill me." Zevran let out a muffled laugh, which caused Hawke to give them a quizzical look.

Merrill was the first to speak up. "Why is that funny?"

Lyna sent her a smile as she said, "Because he wasn't the first. He was captured, and before they could sentence him, I invoked the right of conscription. Needless to say he was very sure I was doing it because I wanted to punish him." Fenris seemed genuinely confused. "If not that, then why did you do it?"

Lyna gave a shrug, "Because he was good at what he did, because he was misguided in his reasons, because almost everyone deserves a second chance. " She smiled. "I told him I was willing to risk it because some of my closest friends had tried to kill me."

Zevran laughed again, and laced his hand with hers as they started the long trek back to the surface. "Good thing you are extremely hard to kill."

Hawke considered that a moment before a thought came to her. "You tried to kill her." Zevran looked over, his smile still in place, "Yes, dear Champion. Luckily my Warden is as merciful as she is beautiful." He turned his smile to Lyna, who rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Sometimes it is good to not meet your goal yes?" Hawke gave a nod. Yes, it would seem so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Shift to Lyna's point of view. Made more sense for this scene. It will probably be her point of view for the next few chapters actually.**

* * *

Lyna knelt in her chair, her feet tucked through the hole in the back, as she carefully sharpened the end of one of the arrows in front of her. She listened with half an ear as Aveline talked with Varric about some story he was telling. When she heard Aveline give a frustrated grunt and stand she set the arrow aside and looked up with a smile. "Problem, Aveline?"

"I'm going to gut the dwarf if he doesn't stop putting whatever version he thinks is amusing of me into his stories of Hawke. People are starting to get the wrong idea about their Guard Captain." She made a face before asking if Lyna would like a drink. Nodding her assent, she watched her storm to the bar before shooting Varric a grin and picking up another arrow.

Setting the small whetstone to the small point of metal she glanced idly around the room, making a mental list. Varric at the head of the table laughing, Zevran beside her sharpening his dagger, Fenris at the end of the table staring into the fireplace with a scowl in place. Farther away she noted Aveline at the bar, surrounded by a score of people she didn't know, and Isabela rolling her eyes at an overly adoring, handsy, slumming noble. She looked back to Zevran and knocked his arm with her elbow, nodding toward the assaulted pirate. "You might want to save Isabela before she punches him."

Zevran looked over to her, his gaze moving and focusing on her words. Smiling he gave a nod, and set his weapon aside so he could rise and make his way to the bar. Lyna watched in amusement for a moment as he switched to a saunter before turning her attention to Varric. "So what have you said about Aveline to make her so angry?"

"I would say that she was more annoyed then angry. Either way it seems she is put out by the belief that I have made her seem... " he waved a hand, " unable to lead by the way I have written her."

"And did you?" She asked as she reached for another arrow. He sent her a wide smile and a shrug. "Probably. I think she's just mad that I give Hawke so much credit." He turned his smile to Aveline, who had come back to join them slamming the two tankards she carried on the table, and sloshing ale over the sides.

"Please. Who would want that kind of attention." She then steered the conversation to something about Varric, and his continual petitions to seize control of the Hanged Man. Lyna turned her attention back to her arrows.

She liked Aveline and Varric both very much but she had no interest in their argument. Besides, this place was falling apart; who would want to own it? She felt Zevran resettle next to her, and glanced up. "Save the fair damsel?" He nodded as Isabela took the seat directly across from them, and sent them a smile. "Poor sod. You could tell he doesn't know what to do with a woman." Lyna watched the rejected noble make his way to a free table, stumbling slightly as he went, and settle in to stare into his drink.

She selected another arrow, the newly sharpened ones returning to her quiver, as she listened to the argument that continued at one end of the table, and Isabela trying to pull Fenris from his bad mood, failing, then turning her attention to Zevran.

Lyna figured Fenris was still pouting because Hawke was off somewhere without him, and had left him to it for the better part of the night, not knowing why the others continued to try to pull him in. Even when they continued to fail. If she remembered correctly, Hawke had been corralled into finding some apostates accused of blood magic. She also remembered that Hawke wasn't happy about it. Especially since the first two she had found had tried to kill her.

Another arrow down when the object of her thoughts pushed into the bar with Anders, Merrill, and Sebastian behind her. Ah, the chantry prince. She hadn't had the chance to really talk to him yet, but she got the impression he would be a lot like Sten. Far to preachy for his own good.

Hawke glanced around the main room, acknowledging her group of friends in the corner before turning her attention to the noble Isabela had rejected. Interesting. Lyna set her arrow and stone aside to prop her chin on her hand, and watch the human make her way over. She noticed Fenris focusing his attention also before straining to hear what was being said.

"... mage? Because you magicked my breath away."

Lyna stifled a laugh even as Hawke shook her head and sighed. "You need more practice with women."

The man attempted a tilted smile, but succeeded only in making himself look more pitiful. "Can I practice on you?" He gave a disconcertingly high pitched laugh. "In private?"

Lyna was distracted by Varric for a moment as he stated, "Oh. That hurts just listening to." She smiled, apparently everyone else at the table was watching too, and turned back to the conversation.

"... Can't function in the real world," Anders was saying, but the noble kept talking, his face turned up to Hawke, as if she was alone.

"Round of drinks on me? I'm Emile, as you know," he tried for another smile. "And you are?"

Hawke leaned her hip against the table as she folded her arms over her chest. "Feeling very sorry for you." She glanced around before continuing. "I'm also helping the templars hunt a mage named Emile de Launcet." She waved a hand at him. "And here you are."

The man's eyes widened and he was suddenly scrambling from the bench he was sitting on. "Oh buggery." He waved his hands as he straightened before Hawke, his head shaking comically back and forth. Lyna wondered momentarily if it might fall off. "I know what this is about. I..." His head was still shaking. "I'm not a blood mage, all right?" He finally managed to still himself. Hawke appeared to be trying to swallow a grin as she straightened from the table, her arms still crossed. She tilted her head slightly in a signal for him to continue. Taking a breath, as if he was steeling himself, he did so. "I... uh... started that rumor because... because I thought it would make sound dangerous and..." He managed to look sheepish. "Suave."

"He has to be lying." Lyna looked to Fenris who was, surprise of surprises, shooting daggers at the noble. "Oh yes, he very much looks like he might take us all out at any moment." She shot him a deadpan look before turning back to the conversation, making a note that she had never seen Anders look quite so disgusted.

Emile was actually shuffling his feet. "You don't understand. I've been in the circle since I was six. Six!" He said it twice as if it was a very important number. "for twenty years I was locked up. Never had a drink or... or cooked something for myself." He looked up, his gaze pleading. " Never stood in the rain, or kissed a girl."

"Oh now that is a shame." Zevran tsked once before settling his arm around Lyna, leaning in with a sad shake of his head. "I don't see how anyone could survive without that." Lyna glanced at him a moment, her voice emotionless. " Surely they would throw themselves off the nearest tower."

Emile had hung his head, and was twisting his hands in front of him. "If you are going to kill me, do it," he mumbled softly. "I'd rather die drunk."

Hawke was shaking her head as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Did you really escape the circle just so you could kiss a girl?" Emile looked up, a small smile forming even as he started to blush. "Well, not just that. I've read so much about the other things you can do with girls." He raised his arms, then dropped them to his side. "I just don't want to die a virgin."

Hawke rubbed a hand over her face then began to tell him to take the money his family had given him and use it the way it was intended.

"She's letting him go. Of course she is." Fenris sounded disgusted. "Why wouldn't she."

Lyna straightened in her chair, and picked up a new arrow; returning to her task, and ignoring the annoyed elf. She knew it wouldn't help to tell him she would have done the same thing. In fact, she wouldn't be surprised if most of the people at the table would. No, better to let him sulk, and brood, and be miserable until he learned to stop finding reasons to make himself unhappy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bit of a different take for this chapter. I just couldn't see my Warden handling the situation in any sort of coherent fashion. Felt the tone and writing should reflect that.**

**That mirror... dang, it is just determined to ruin everyone's day.**

* * *

She was running. When had she started running? She couldn't remember, but she couldn't stop either.

Running.

Running.

The Keeper.

Of course, that was right. She and Zevran had come back to Kirkwall after a trip to a nearby village. They had been gone a week. They stopped by the clan to say hello.

The Keeper was dead.

She had done something... something for Merrill. Something to do with the mirror, and now she was dead. That damn mirror, the one that had taken Tamlen. Merrill had taken it, tried to rebuild it, asked a demon for help, and now Marethari was dead.

She had started running just outside of the camp, leaving Zevran behind even as he shouted her name, unsure of where she was running to.

She found herself outside of Merrill's home, pounding on the door, shouting words even she couldn't understand.

No one answered.

She started running again, up stairs, shoving people out of her way. The Hanged Man. She might be at the Hanged Man.

Lyna burst through the tavern door. Eyes wide, Hair falling around her face. She didn't care. A quick sweep, her breath coming in shallow bursts. In the corner, sitting with her whole group.

Merrill.

Lyna was over to them before she realized she had taken a step.

What did you do? What did you do?

"What did you do?" She realized she had shouted it when Merrill's face paled, and Hawke started to stand.

"No." She spoke the word in deadly earnest. No one was going to stop her from getting answers. Tamlen's mirror. She was trying to restore Tamlen's mirror, and now it had taken someone else.

She didn't even realize she had pulled a knife out to point at Hawke until she saw the others moving.

"No." She repeated it. A command. Putting the knife away she grabbed Merrill by the arm, dragging her in a tripping rush up the stairs, and into an empty room.

Slamming the door she leaned her head against it. Breathe, Lyna, breathe. She took a breath, looked to Merrill where she stood trembling a few steps away, and took another.

Calm. Calm. Listen to the reason. She repeated herself in a closer to normal tone. "What did you do?"

She looked everywhere but at the other elf as she stumbled through an explanation. Couldn't look at her. Not while she was talking.

Bring back the old ways. Save their people. Save the clan.

Save the clan.

Lyna let out a humorless laugh, throwing her hand up to stop Merrill's speech.

"Oh, yes. That mirror is doing a fine job of saving the clan."

She wanted to hit her, wanted to take her knife and stab it into her. She clenched her hands instead.

"How could you be so foolish, Merrill?" Did her voice sound as raw as it felt? "How could you think that that... thing could help the clan. And a demon... a DEMON." She felt her voice rising, and mentally checked herself.

"It helped me cleanse it. I know demons are dangerous. I was being careful. I never asked the Keeper to do what she did. She stuck her nose..." She trailed off when Lyna's eyes darted back to her.

"Do you think you get to choose what price is paid? What something costs? Can you really be so naive?"

"I was going to pay the price! I had Hawke with me. I made her promise to strike me down if the demon took me over. I had a plan."

Lyna laughed again.

"It needed to at least be tried! I would do anything to save us."

She thought the same thing she had thought a thousand times over the past 10 years.

_I wish we had never found that mirror_.

"Not everything is worth its price."

Tamlen. Tamlen smiling, bright, handsome. Tamlen, hunched, dark. Wrong.

She turned her back on Merrill, her hand reaching for the door. She needed to get out of here.

"Do you hate me?" The question was small and quiet. "Everyone else does."

Yes.

"No."

"Can you forgive me?"

No.

"I... don't know. I need time."

She was tired. Creators she was tired.

Opening the door she stared up into Hawke's face a moment before shaking her head and brushing past her.

She made it down into the common room, noticed Zevran by the others even as she made her way to the exit.

"I'm not Tamlen, Mahariel."

The statement caused her to stop. She turned, praying that Merrill wouldn't have actually followed her out. Wouldn't have said that. She shouldn't be saying his name.

She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised when she was wrong.

"What happened to him happened because he was being impulsive. You two should have gone back to the clan. Gotten help. He should never have gone into that cave. Should have known better then to touch the mirror when he didn't know what it was."

No, Lyna thought. No you weren't there. You don't know. I should have stopped him. Should have been more firm. He would have listened to me. It was dragging him in, and he didn't know it. I just wanted to make him happy, so I went along.

You don't know what you are talking about.

"I would never be that stupid. That careless."

She was back in front of Merrill, and her hand stung. Why did it sting? Merrill was holding the side of her face, and the others were standing in open mouthed silence.

Oh.

She had slapped her.

"You think you are better than him? Wiser?" She spat the words out. "Neither of us could have known the consequences of going into that cave. What happened to him... was an accident. A terrible accident. One I feel guilty for every day." She thought she might be shouting again. "You..." She turned away. "You had your eyes open the entire time. You knew what you were playing with, and you still let someone innocent die."

She was out the door before Merrill could reply. She didn't want to hear it.

She was running again. Running to Hightown. To Fenris' mansion.

She could feel the tears leaking onto her face as she shoved through the door, and down the hall to her room. She wiped at them wildly even as she curled herself onto a couch in the corner.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

Tamlen. Keeper. Even Merrill. Who else was that mirror going to take from her?

She heard the door open and close, but she didn't remove her hands from her face. Couldn't.

The cushion dipped as someone set down beside her, and after a moment arms circled her form. They pulled her up and over. A lap. Nonsense words being whispered soothingly in her ear, hands running calmly over her back and through her hair.

Zevran.

She turned into him, her body starting to shake. He had been there when Tamlen came. There when she had had to sink the dagger into her closest friend. Her first love.

He understood.

She pressed her face into his chest and wept.


	8. Chapter 8

**Not sure about this chapter. I just can't seem to get it to be what I want it to be. I might be giving it an overhaul later.  
Hope you all enjoy though!**

* * *

Lyna made her way to the table slowly, delicately balancing the drinks she was carrying. Stooping to the table she let Varric help her dole them out before settling in herself. She took a sip from her cup and made a face; the drinks never got better here, but at least they were cheap. She, Zevran, and Fenris had come out to the tavern at the bid of Isabela. The pirate had burst into Fenris' mansion, calling out in a bright singsong voice that she was bored, and since Hawke was gone it was their job to entertain her.

Hawke was gone off on another mission. A visit to an Orlesian noble's estate outside the city. Apparently there was a jewel that an assassin needed to get her hands on, and Hawke had agreed to help. She had taken Sebastian and Merrill with her, and was expecting to be gone most of the week. While she knew that Hawke took the prince because he was versed in all things noble, Lyna vaguely wondered if she took Merrill to keep them separated a while longer.

After their confrontation, she had not seen Merrill or anyone, aside from Zevran and Fenris for over a week. She had stayed away from fear of what she might say, or do. While she did not blame anyone but the other elf for what had transpired, she still worried about taking her anger out on them. In fact, she had stayed away until Zevran and Anders had dragged her out to the tavern, ignoring her rather vocal protests.

Luckily, Merrill at least had enough sense to stay away.

At the thought of Anders she wondered a moment where he might be, but put it out of her mind just as quickly. He had been holed up in his clinic for days, and she had no urge to track him down just yet. Not when their last conversation had gone so badly.

* * *

_"It was an idiotic thing to do, Anders. Justice was having issues even before the battle at the keep." Lyna shook her head, and steepled her fingers against her lips as she leaned on his desk. Anders took a moment to look annoyed before replying. "I was helping a friend. Our friend. I didn't want him to have to take another corpse. After all he lost the one he had because of you deciding to save the city."_

_She tilted her head as she knocked a fist to his arm. "Think about it. Remember what he told us about spirits and demons. Spirits have no desire to be among us, only demons do. He told me himself he was starting to feel... feelings." She moved one of her hands to point at him, her face serious. "Have you thought about why he wanted to be back in our world, why he didn't want to just go back to the Fade?" He had, she could see it, but she also saw the small shake as he looked at her with a small flirty smile; one like she hadn't seen since all those years ago. Before Justice. Before causes. She knew he was going to try and change the subject._

_"Sweetheart, tell me you didn't come all the way down here to scold me. I would much rather talk about you." His smile fell, and concern entered his voice. "How are you doing, Commander? I am wondering if we forced you out to soon." She smiled at him, and laid her hand over his. Yes, she knew he was changing the subject, but she would give him a few moments of it. "No. It was fine. I am glad you did."_

_He nodded and gripped her hand a moment before pulling his away. "You know it is nice to just sit and talk with someone for awhile. I don't think I have done that since..." He trailed off a moment. "Well, a long time." She put her hand back under her chin. "Pining longingly doesn't suite you, Anders."_

_It caused him to smile, which she was going for. "You are probably right. I would more than likely come off as whiny, and annoying." His smile faded again. "It is probably for the best that she rejected me when she did. Justice did not... approve of the relationship."_

_She frowned at that as she sat back in her chair. "So, he gets to decide your personal life now?"_

_"No. Of course not. Hawke choosing that... beast... over me did." He returned her frown. So they were back to this again. "But, I wonder. His control when you anger could not possibly have helped your cause."_

_"You know nothing about it. Don't pretend you do, Commander. Justice has helped me to see what is important. What needs to change." He stood and paced away from her. "You have fought for mages. You had the help of mages during the Blight. You helped me get away from the Circle. Surely you can't argue how important this is."_

_She was shaking her head as she watched him a frown still in place. "Not like this, Anders. This isn't you fighting for mage rights. This is you being taken over by a demon." She faintly realized she had stood also. "Hawke told me what's been going on. The obsession. The manifesto." Her voice softened. "Almost killing a girl... You aren't handling it, Anders. You aren't in control. You're being used." She walked over to where he was still pacing. "How do you think this will end? Any little niggle of a clue?"_

_He brushed off the hand she tried to lay on his arm, and stalked away from her. She thought she saw a light flash in his eyes before he threw open the door leading out of the clinic. "Out. I have no time to be preached at by you. I have heard it enough. Trust me. I don't work for you anymore. I haven't in a long while. You can't tell me what to do anymore."_

* * *

She was shaken from her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Fenris standing beside her, an amused look on his face. "Hate to bother you, Warden. Seeing how important that cup seems to you, but I was wondering if you wanted another drink." She glanced down to realize she had indeed finished her ale. "I would appreciate it." She watched him ask the others, and then move to the bar before focusing on the conversation to her left.

It was a story she had heard. Zevran and Isabela were telling Varric about when he had killed her husband. A good story, truth told. Her husband had sounded like someone who needed a knife stabbed into him.

She looked back on Fenris when he returned. "Ma serranas," and then, because he seemed in a good enough mood, she turned to him as he sat down. "Tell me about yourself."

He blinked at the question, his expression turning guarded. "What do you want to know?" She laughed lightly, and waved a hand. "Anything. Creators, Fenris, no need to look so worried. Can't anyone be curious about you?" His face relaxed marginally. "I just don't see why I need to tell everyone about my past."

She shrugged, and leaned onto the table. "Then don't. There has to be more to you then lyrium and slavery." He seemed confused, as if he had never thought of it, and she pushed her edge, keeping her voice light. "We can start with something easy. What is your favorite color?"

He blinked, a smile quirking his mouth, making him seem more approachable. "Green, though I suppose everyone would say it was black." "And spiky," she agreed with a smile. He settled back and stared at her a moment. "Does this mean that I can ask you something also?"

"Of course." She settled more comfortably, blocking out the voices and laughter to her other side. "Is there something specific you were hoping to know?" She watched as he leaned forward, his arm coming to rest on his leg as he looked between her and Zevran. His voice dropped lower, probably to keep the others from overhearing. "Is it worth it?"

She was confused by the question. Was what worth it? She moved her gaze to Zevran and then back again her head tilting slightly in question. Fenris tried to explain himself. "You have tied yourself to someone who can never settle down. Not truly. You will constantly be on the run because of who he is."

Ah. She smiled in understanding, and leaned onto the table, angling her back toward the object of their conversation. "Well, I suppose the answer would be yes, seeing as we have been together nearly 10 years. Well, together as much as we can." She chuckled lightly, and ghosted a hand over his arm. She had always been one to touch, but she was also aware he seemed bothered by it. "You don't get to choose who you love, Fenris, and if you want to be with them you do what you have to do."

She folded her arms on the table in front of her. "You know. Before I met Zevran I danced around another relationship." Fenris had looked away while she was talking, focusing on his drink, but he looked back at her again with the last statement. She took it as a hint he wanted her to continue. "Zevran didn't join our group until a few months in. Before that, well." She gave a shrug. "I was young, alone, with new people. I had just lost my best friend, and had to leave my clan. Then the people that I was coming to know, the ones who were suppose to be my new family... died. All at once. I suppose I was looking for a connection." She looked off, her gaze wandering to the fire.

"He was sweet, and naive, and I flirted with him shamelessly. I knew he returned the interest, but I could never get him to... "She trailed off, then let out a laugh. "Take a hint." She drew herself back to focus on the man next to her. "I finally told him that I thought he was handsome, and to take that as he would. He said it was a compliment from such a beautiful woman... then ruined it. He started asking if I was alright with him telling me that. He actually asked how I would feel about him thinking so." She shook her head, amused at the girl she was, and how annoyed she had been at the time. Fenris broke her from her memory. "What did you say?" She smiled as she replied. "I told him when he knew how he felt about it, than so would I."

"I am assuming he never decided how he felt since you are here now." She gave a shrug at his statement. "I don't know. Zevran came into our group." A smile bloomed and she glanced over her shoulder to where he sat in a laughing huddle with the pirate and dwarf. "He made it clear from the very beginning. Told me he fancied me not two days after he had ambushed us on the road." She turned her attention back to Fenris, and propped her chin on a fist. "I'm not saying we never had issues. We did... we still do, but by then we were both willing to work on it."

Fenris mimicked her position, his hair falling into his eyes a moment before being pushed back. "What happened with your other companion?" She tapped a finger to her chin in thought. "What do you mean? We traveled together, we fought the Blight, we were friends. We still are. Whatever else he might have hoped, well, he should have decided sooner. Who knows where we might all be now if he had." She smiled brightly and patted his free hand with a bit more force then before, and was rewarded by a more open and friendly smile. "I know why you are telling me this story, Warden."

"Do you?" She continued to smile and turned to the others as she heard her name called. Focusing on Varric she raised her brow. "Yes, Varric?" The dwarf was grinning broadly at her, and the two beside him had only a moment to look sheepish before he said, "The Rivaini was telling me a most interesting story about when you two first met."

Lyna sent the pirate a pointed look before focusing back on the broad man at the end of the table. "I can only imagine. What would you like to know, ser dwarf?

She settled in as he started to bombard her with questions that could make even her blush. Stealing a look back to Fenris she noted that he was no longer paying attention to the table, and was staring fixedly at a blank spot on the wall. She snapped her fingers in front of his face, drawing him back into focus. "No brooding tonight. I rather enjoyed seeing you smile." He lowered his brow a moment at the comment then let out a short laugh and gave a nod. "Alright."


	9. Chapter 9

**I agree with FenZev and bunneh. I always get so annoyed with Merrill. It was a pleasure to write someone slapping her. I constantly wished during the game that I had that options. I know I am writing her in a very pitiful sense, but I just can't seem to help myself. It's how I think about her while playing the game. :P**

**I am trying to put as much space between main story quests as possible because there are only actually like 4 main quests in act 3. It would make for a very short story, so I am trying to hit at least companion quests, and important secondary quests also.**

**Again thank you to those who have commented, favorited, or alerted. You make me smile.**

**Hope everyone enjoys!**

* * *

Hawke made her into Hightown as she half listened to Anders behind her. He was trying to convince Merrill and Isabela that they needed to help the mages. A common conversation these days, and one he had had with all of their companions. He had originally tried to pull her into the diatribe, but she had growled good naturedly at him before covering her ears and rolling her eyes comically.

She was trying to be nicer about his causes. It had taken her three days to coax him to come out with her, and to take a break from his clinic, and she didn't want to push him back into it just yet.

She pushed through the crowd that was gathered outside the steps of the Chantry, and wondered a moment why there would be so many people there during the middle of the day. Anders fell silent behind her, apparently wondering the same thing.

When a loud cheer went up around them she jumped and reached for her sword in reflex. Taking a breath she dropped her hand and decided to see what was going on.

She pushed her way to the front of the crowd, most everyone moving out of her way when they saw who she was. When she finally burst past the front line she had to take a moment to understand what she was seeing.

The Hero of Fereldan was twirling an arrow through her fingers, a bow hanging from her loose fingers, and her tongue was sticking out. Directly toward the Prince of Starkhaven.

She felt her companions come up beside her as her brain worked around the scene before her. Lyna was dressed in civilian clothing, and the bow she held was not her own. Her hair was loose, and kept back from her face with a scarf tied around her brow; her feet were also bare.

Conversely, Sebastian was in his full armor, his grandfather's bow lowering as he turned from the target that was set up at the other end of the square. He took in the face that Lyna was making toward him, and quickly leaned in to grasp the scarf and pull it over her face; leaving her sputtering.

"I believe it is your turn, Lyna." Hawke was momentarily confused at his use of her name, but soon decided that he was trying to keep her identity secret. Lyna laughed and shoved up the scarf. She sent him a mock bow and moved over in front of him, notching the arrow she had been spinning into her borrowed bow. She took her stance, her face growing passive, and pulled the string back to rest next to her lips. She let out a slow breath and released the arrow, staying still until it landed with a dull thud directly beside his in the bulls eye.

The crowd erupted again as Lyna sent Sebastian a wink, and waved a hand for him to take his own shot.

Hawke smiled and shook her head as she turned to make her way out of the crowd, her friends falling in behind her. She had wondered if those two would ever find common ground. They had spent most of their conversations together arguing the finer points of the origins of the darkspawn, but it seemed they had found something else they had in common. It didn't surprise her at all that either of them had a competitive streak, and wanted to test each other; however, it did surprise her that Sebastian would have any humor about it. Lyna apparently had that effect on people.

She wouldn't have minded staying and watching that particular pissing contest, but she had business with Aveline that she rather thought couldn't wait. She glanced over as Merrill came up to her side, her face set, and eyes wary.

"Do you think she has forgiven me yet?" The question was asked with a wavering voice, and Hawke stopped herself from letting out a sigh.

She was getting tired of that question. Tired of the pity that seemed to be what Merrill was in constant search for. She had been asking that same question since before they had returned from the trip to Duke Prosper's estate. She had started asking as soon as they started on their way home, and Hawke had heard it almost every day for the past week.

She knew Merrill was worried, and worried more each day that went by without Lyna speaking to her, but it was becoming ridiculous. She wanted to help her friend, but a part of her could not blame Lyna for her reaction. She didn't know how she would react if she was in her shoes, and she actually felt she had handled it with more calm then Hawke herself would.

She looked down to the elf beside her, and patted her back lightly. "Oh, don't worry about it. She will come around eventually." It was her go to response now. She had started with gentle sympathy, followed by stabs at humor, and after she had run out of both of those, she settled on simply repeating herself.

Maybe Merrill would get the hint.

She made a point to actively engage Isabela and Anders in a conversation after that. She spoke to them about nonsense involving her dog, the rest of the way to the keep.

* * *

Pushing her way into Aveline's office she stopped herself when she noticed she wasn't alone. She sat at her desk, laughing loudly, while Zevran stood across from her, a wide grin on his face.

She took a moment to understand what she was seeing, and then cocked her head at Zevran. "Maker, is there no one you can't get at?"

She had never seen Aveline like that. Laughing loud, her face bright red, her posture relaxed. At best she was only ever slightly amused. Zevran turned his smile to the group at the door as Aveline fought to catch her breath.

"It is my duty, dear Champion. I always endeavor to leave beautiful ladies flushed and breathless." He swooped the Guard Captain's hand into his, and planted a loud kiss on it before moving out of the way so Hawke and the others could make their way to the desk.

She waited a moment, then another as Aveline's face grew serious. "Zevran was just trying to improve my day. Problem Hawke?"

She shifted under her friend's gaze. Improving her day was he, well she was about to make it worse. Aveline was going to be angry. Very angry, and Hawke new she would somehow be put in the middle of it.

"Knight-Captain Cullen has heard some," She waved a hand, searching for a word, "troubling things."

She watched Aveline's face harden even as she replied. "Such as...?"

Hawke shifted again, not liking that she was having to say this. Cullen should never have sent her that letter. If he was so worried he should have come and talked with Aveline himself.

"That you coddle your men. Give special treatment."

Aveline's jaw twitched. "Someone... has dared?" Her fists hit the wood, causing Merrill and Anders to jump. "Who?" She raised swiftly from her seat and leaned forward over the desk. "Who accuses me of this?"

Hawke gave a shrug of her shoulders, trying to appear casual. "Anonymous lies, of course."

Aveline stalked around the desk, and started pacing before them, Zevran quickly stepping out of the way before she bowled him over. "No wonder the lieutenant was harassing me. Bastards."

She turned swiftly, her gaze meetings Hawke's steadily. Apparently she had come to a decision. "If they think I am coddling anyone, it'll be my husband Donnic. You and I will intercept his patrol tonight. Then you can see for yourself if I'm coddling him. Or any in my command"

Hawke mentally kicked herself. So much for a calm evening of doing absolutely nothing. A welcome change from her schedule lately.

Happy face.

"Well, I could do with a breath of fresh air."

Aveline gave a nod, missing the joke. "Good, because there's no way I would let this go." She turned to make her way back to her desk. "Cullen wants to know if these things are true? You'll be able to tell him."

She settled back into her seat, her jaw twitching again. "Donnic's patrol, Hawke. Me and you. Tonight."

She muttered something else under her breath about not being soft, but Hawke couldn't quite catch it, and frankly didn't want to. She turned to make her way out, waving a hand to Zevran who had moved back over to the desk. Isabela fell in beside her, asking if she needed help with the patrol. Hawke figured she must be bored for her to offer to help Aveline, and agreed it would be appreciated. Maybe she would take Anders to, if for no other reason to keep an eye on him.

Yes. It was going to be a very long night.


	10. Chapter 10

**SHORT! I was going to make this longer, but decided to leave it as it is, and made the second part its own chapter.**

**Super late, and Zan is sleepy.  
**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Hawke grumbled to herself as she stumbled out her door and into the bright morning sun. As she attached her shield to her back she squinted at the light overhead with an increasingly dark scowl. She had been out till nearly dawn with Aveline after they had tracked down Donnic. She had somehow been talked into going to the Hanged Man with the Guard Captain while the larger woman had waited for her husband to finish his patrol. Too many drinks. Too many loud noises. It all made for much to early a morning when Orana had woken her with a quiet, but persistent tapping on her door.

Sending another scowl at the offending sun she made her way to Fenris'. She was in the mood for company, but only the quiet kind.

She opened the door to the mansion without knocking, long past such niceties with the elf. Checking for anyone in the immediate vicinity, she pitched her voice up, wincing only slightly at her own shouting. "Fenris! I need you!"

She waited a few moments, wondering if the usually early riser had actually slept in when she saw a white head peek out around the door at the top of the balcony in front of her. A squinted look was given in her direction before the head disappeared again. She smiled to herself and settled into a seat by the door to wait for him to ready himself.

Another handful of moments passed before Fenris joined her a questioning look on his face. "You are not one to come around so early, Hawke." It was said as a statement, and a true one at that. She hated mornings, she was much better with night work, and all of her companions knew it. "Tell Orana that. I need to speak with Cullen, and I wanted to make sure I got to him before he was taken up with something else." They headed out into the sunshine again, Hawke hating it a little less this time.

"Are your guests still asleep?" She asked conversationally.

He shrugged a shoulder and followed her down the stairs. "Out with the dawn as far as I can tell. Lyna appears to be an early riser. I believe she said something last night about needing to check on some things." He gave a faint smile. "I do know that Zevran would have a look very similar to yours when they left."

Hawke returned his smile and turned down another set of stairs. She thought briefly, and horribly, about stopping by the hanged man to wake up Isabela and Varric. If she had to be up early then everyone should, but she put it out of her mind. Neither of those two would be considered quiet company.

They made it the rest of the way to the docks in silence. By the time they settled onto a small boat that would take them to the Gallows she was feeling less like a sharp little bundle of hate for all things sunny, and more like her normal self. She even made a point to ask Fenris how he had been the last few days. He murmured something about having to wait and see, and then turned to look out over the water.

Cutting her off? Hmm. Not something he usually did, but a sign that he had something on his mind and didn't want to get into it. Thinking that trying to pry it out of him would only darken her slowly improving mood, she decided to let him have his secrets. At least for a time.

* * *

Making their way into the courtyard Hawke noticed the Knight Captain in the corner talking with some recruits. She made her way over to him and made a point to look as if she was in a very large hurry while she waited for him. She was in the middle of a particularly good huff, at least to her mind, when he finally turned around to address her.

"Serah Hawke. I am assuming you are here about the accusations regarding the Guard Captain, yes?"

She gave an emphatic nod and folded her arms behind her back. "I have successfully wasted my time, ser. The rumors are completely unfounded."

He nodded at her words, and heaved a sigh. "As I suspected."

She dropped her arms then ran a hand through her hair. "Then why press this?" She was unsure of the point. If he never thought that there was any base to the rumors, why not just ignore them?

"Some feel that the... solution... to the current crisis of leadership is to..." he waved a hand, "consolidate authority." Giving another sigh, he continued. "You have to understand. As long as these complaints continue, baseless or not, they will serve as justification for eliminating the position of guard captain."

He rubbed a hand over his chin, as if unsure how else to explain. "It would be the simplest fix, whether or not I agree."

Ah. Now she understood. She shot him a bright smile, and refolded her arms. "Just point me in the right direction, and I'll get you some peace and quiet."

She could see him bite back a smile, and an almost imperceptible look of relief in his eyes. "I have no answers for you other than to say that all of the complaints have come from Lowtown."

Hawke gave a nod. She would need to rely this information to Aveline, which almost certainly meant another trek into a guardsman's patrol.

She thanked Cullen and started to turn away before he stepped forward and called her back.

"I have heard... rumors, Serah Hawke, that the Hero of Ferelden is here in Kirkwall, and that she keeps your company."

She paused a moment before turning back to him, unsure of how to respond. She doubted Lyna wanted it spread around that she was here, she seemed the type to enjoy being anonymous; however, before she could form a reply Cullen spoke again. "I won't ask you to confirm it, but if I might ask a favor. She... she saved my life back at the Ferelden Circle. I would appreciate it if you could pass on to her that I wish to express my gratitude in person, should she allow it. I was... " he broke off with a short laugh, " somewhat ungrateful at the time. I would like to rectify that."

Hawke studied him a moment before giving a nodded assent. "I'll see what I can do." With that she was off and bounding back down the stairs to the boats. She hated this place, and tried never to stay longer then she had to. It reminded her of her sister.


	11. Chapter 11

**This does nothing to further the plot. I just had a burning urge to write something sweet, and it worked well with where I am in this story. Have I mentioned I love Zevran? Well, I do. He is great because he is this playboy, but then you catch glimpses of a really sweet sweet guy underneath.**

**I like writing that side of him.  
**

**Also, I needed to do something that showed Fenris wasn't simply ignoring his relationship issues with Hawke. I always like to think during the game that he actually got in touch with his sister because he realized he needed to do something that would help him to be open and completely there for Hawke. Like the companion quests in MA2. :P  
**

**Anywho, hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

She was warm, and content, and in a wholly uncomfortable position. She faintly registered that she wanted to go back to sleep, but the angle at which her head was leaned was causing a twinge to work its way through her neck. She thought about it for a moment, trying to figure out where she could possibly have fallen asleep. She was in a chair, that was obvious, and it was also obvious that it was not a chair made for sleeping. She vaguely remembered her day. She had gone to see Cullen, and then Aveline. She had agreed to go with her friend tonight on another guard's patrol, unsurprising. So where was she now?

Ah that's right, she had come back with Fenris to his home after stating that maybe no one would look for her there. She wanted a few hours of not running errands all over the city.

She must have fallen asleep in his chair by the fire.

She started to rise when a hum of voices beside her got her attention. Fenris' low rumble accompanied by two others that she took to be Lyna and Zevran after a few moments of listening. Relaxing back into the chair she tried to ignore the twinge in her neck and to hear what was being said. She also ignored the fact that she was becoming far too interested in eavesdropping. She slitted her eyes open, just enough to take in the trio of elves across from her spread across the bench and chair farther from the fire.

"I'm sorry if I woke you last night Fenris." Lyna spoke softly, probably to not wake Hawke. Fenris waved a hand, a faint smile working across his face. "No need for apologies, Lyna, I am well use to nightmares."

Lyna? When had he taken to calling her Lyna, and not simply Warden? He never even called her Marian. Hawke suppressed the stirring of jealously. It was no more use to be jealous of the grey warden then it was to be angry at a cloud during a storm.

"Besides," his voice rumbled again after a moment, and he sent the smaller elf a half smile, "You did not wake me, really. I was already awake."

Lyna leaned forward a bit, her expression curious, already forgetting her own problems. "Are you regretting your decision? You don't have to go through with it you know."

He glanced over to Hawke before replying. "No. I need to do it. For several reasons. I cannot run from this as I have everything else. And I have friends to help me if needed, yes?" His smile widened at Lyna's emphatic nod.

Hawke wondered what he could be talking about. What had he shared with them that he could not tell her about? Never mind that they lived under the same roof, it shouldn't matter. She thought Fenris told her everything.

"Why are you so worried about my sleep anyway?" Hawke recognized his change of subject, well use to the way he worked. "Shouldn't you be more worried about the assassin sleeping with you?"

So he wasn't so friendly with the Crow.

Lyna glanced at Zevran with a shrug. "He is well use to my nightmares."

Zevran ran a hand down her back. "I have gotten amazingly good at sleeping through them, unless needed."

Fenris stared at them both a moment before speaking again, his voice low enough that Hawke had to strain to hear him. "It is the calling, correct? We learned something of it when we went to deal with Corypheus. Bethany seemed worried about the man we met there who suffered from it."

"Larius." It was said calmly, but Hawke noticed the tightened knuckles on her lap, and the idle hand Zevran played over her back.

"Yes. Him. He said you all succumb to the taint. Tell me, Lyna, you are not leaving us soon are you?"

Lyna gave a shake of her head, and mustered up a small laugh. "No... I have some years left before I become... him. My nightmares are not usually so prevalent, but you all will not be rid of me just yet."

Another stare from the white haired elf. He frowned slightly, glancing between the couple as if he was thinking something over. "I was wrong."

Zevran let out a laugh at that, and waved a hand for him to continue. "I can only hope to imagine what you were wrong about, my friend."

"I assumed that Lyna made a sacrifice being with an assassin, but I think it would be harder being with a grey warden. It seems they have no control over what has taken over their lives. It gives a new meaning to duty."

Zevran's lips thinned into a tight smile at the last word, though his tone remained light. "Yes, well, that is perfect for an assassin. We take pleasure while and from where we can. The short life and busy schedule of a warden play well with that."

"Not if you loved them."

He seemed to have no reply to that at first, then surprised everyone by bursting into laughter. "You know everything you said was an argument I had against being with her. He glanced over to Lyna, who was smiling herself. "She showed me the obvious error of my ways. There are always reason not to be together, but life would be very empty."

"And it only took him 10 years to say that. I think I had to beat him over the head with it, but he is learning." Lyna's comment received smiles, probably her intent, and Hawke decided she should probably let them know she was awake.

She huffed and grumbled, and made a large show of waking up and wiping her eyes, taking a moment to look surprised and embarrassed to be caught sleeping. "I didn't realize my sleep needed onlookers. It cannot possible be that entertaining. Do I drool? Snore? Tell embarrassing secrets?"

She was met with a smile from Zevran and Lyna, and a strange look from Fenris, as if he was unsure if she was serious or not.

"I was going to wake you, but Lyna thought you might like the sleep."

Lyna gave a nod as she rose and dragged Zevran up with her. "Yes, but now here you are, and you are well able to keep our broody friend company before you have to go off on your guard hunt."

They waved their goodbyes and were out the door before Hawke could form a reply. Instead she looked back to Fenris with a chuckle. "House guests suit you." He made a noise as if agreeing then stood.

"We need to leave soon if we are to meet Aveline. Give me a few moments to get my things."

Hawke sent him a nod then stood to wander over to the door of the room. She leaned against the frame and looked out over the foyer. Noticing a movement in the corner of the landing below, she took a step forward to see what it was.

Zevran was leaned against the wall of the hallway that lead to his room, his arms wrapped around Lyna's waist as she snuggled under his chin, and into his chest. She was saying something that caused him to smile widely, his hand moving down to pinch her and cause a laugh.

They seemed content, and Hawke found herself feeling surges of jealousy again. Hearing Fenris come up behind her she sent him a brief glance.

"That is what I want. I try to forget that sometimes, but when I see them... or Aveline and Donnic... It's hard to ignore."

She could almost feel the confusion coming from the man behind her, and she glanced at him again with a sad smile.

"That's why I got close to Anders, you know. I thought maybe he could give me something... comfortable, easy. Something that would last."

She shook off the thoughts and mood, and started down the stairs before he could reply. If she had to listen to him apologize again, for something that needed no apology, she might simply give up completely.


	12. Chapter 12

**HUGE BREAK! I had the end of classes, research papers, and starting a new job all rolled into one there for a while. I have been wanting to get this out for awhile, but never had the chance. Updates should be pretty regular for the next few weeks because things have slowed a bit.**

**Once again we have a chapter cut in half because I thought it worked better that way. Also, oooo foreshadowing! Heh.  
**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Aveline was in a rare form. The taller woman was almost stomping behind her, her face a bright red clash under her orange hair. Hawke was making the best possible effort to ignore her, and whistled a waltz tune under her breath that only seemed to annoy the other woman further.

"Must you do that?" The words were bit out, teeth gnashing in agitation. "This is serious! The fact that that... that...man," a sneer formed, "could try and get me kicked out. Turn my own guards against me. It will not stand!"

Hawke turned to walk backwards, her hands held up and her face carefully masked off her humor. She caught a glimpse of Varric trailing behind, his brows drawn together as if he expected the red haired giant in front of him to turn her wrath on to him.

"And it will not stand, I promise. We are headed there now, are we not. Calm yourself, Aveline, stomping around like a big oaf will do nothing to win people to your side." Without waiting for an answer she turned back around, and picked back up her tune, satisfied when the stomping behind her seemed to soften.

They made their way into Darktown, Hawke's nose immediately wrinkling at the lingering smell that she never could get use to. She made her way to the tucked away clinic. Their query was in the opposite direction, if their lead was to be believed, but Anders had sent her a note asking to see her, and she also hoped he would prove helpful to their current mission.

She thought it odd when the lamp out front came into view, and was not burning, and a scowl crossed her face when she noticed the doors were firmly shut. She stopped a moment and her scowl deepened. He was shut up again, as he was so often. Letting that demon of a spirit eat away at him, and voice poison in his ears.

She had wondered over the years if perhaps she shouldn't have turned Anders away that night. Perhaps he wouldn't have gotten to where he was now, would not have become so obsessed with mages and causes. Would not have that haunted look in his eyes.

She did care about him, even if it wasn't as intense and... right as what she felt for Fenris. She had turned him away out of fear that he would end up hating her for not loving him enough, or worse, that she would hate him for not being the right man. But, maybe she had been wrong, maybe it would have been enough.

And if wishes were wings we could all learn to fly.

She looked down to Varric as he came up beside her, and sent him a self deprecating smile. She had talked with him about all of this long ago. Fodder for a story he had yet to tell.

He slapped a hand on her arm, ever the optimist when she was looking dim. "Well, should we guess that Blondie is in there writing another manifesto, or perhaps talking to himself like a lunatic?"

Her reply was cut off by a muffled sound coming through the door. Voices raised in anger, and then the sound of a crack. Hawke and her companions hit the door at the same time, causing a bit of a scuffle as the vied to be the first inside. As they pushed past the thresh hold Hawke threw out her arms to stop the others as she tried to take in the situation.

Anders...no... Justice stood at the far end of the clinic, light bursting from his eyes and skin, his arms pulled back and his hands swirling with hot power. His face was twisted in a sneer, his gaze fastened on the elf before him as he shouted.

"YOU CANNOT NOT STOP ME!"

Hawke shot her gaze to where Lyna crouched, her eyes narrowed, her lips thin. She was beside a large scorch mark, the shin of her leg red and blistered, the only sign she hadn't moved quite fast enough. Her knuckles were white from her grip on her daggers, and Hawke noticed her body was shaking and tense, she guessed out of anger.

Hawke started to take a step forward, her movement matched by the others, but they all stopped as Lyna leapt forward, her right hand spinning the blade it held until the blunt end was facing out. She thrust it into the mage's stomach as she bodily rammed him into the wall he stood in front of. Hawke heard a breathless gasp as Justice clutched at his stomach, his spell momentarily forgotten.

She guessed the elf knew she needed to press her advantage, because her left hand shot up, the tip of her dagger pressing into the flesh of Justice's throat, a small dribble of blood leaking out and down the blade and onto her hand. Lyna's voice was a growl that Hawke could not understand, her hand pressing the dagger further into flesh with Justice gave no response; he merely stared down at her, his face twisted in rage.

Lyna's spoke again, this time an authoritative command, delivered in a clear sentence, and dripping with deadly earnest.

"I said stand down." followed by a softer "_Ar tu na'din._"

They all watched as Justice took this in, the blood still beading in a steady stream from his throat. After several tense moments Hawke saw him relax, his hands dropping to his side, his stance dropping back away from the weapon at his throat. His eyes stayed hard, however, as the small woman before him leaned up to speak quietly, her guard not dropping.

"_Halam sahin_."

A cold smile graced the blonde man's lips, not reaching his eyes. "You cannot stop it, Commander. Not even you."

Lyna dropped back, absently wiping the dagger and her hand over her stomach, smearing blood on the dark brown armor she wore. She didn't take her eyes from the man in front of her. "_Ma emma harel_." she said as she slipped her daggers back into their sheaths. They stared at each other another moment before Lyna stepped away, her attention moving to the burn on the ground. She walked over to it and crouched down to stir the dirt, working until the spot blended in as well as it could with the surrounding area.

Everyone watched her, almost unsure if they should even begin to break the silence, and Justice still stood by the wall, his face shuttered. Finally, she stood and looked over to him. She gestured to his neck. "Heal yourself so Anders does not suffer, then leave. We are done here."

He looked mutinous a moment, but finally the glow began to fade; soon all that was left was a stumbling and exhausted Anders, his neck clean of any marks. Lyna stepped forward and caught him before he could fall, her arm slipping around his waist, and her hurt leg turning away.

Hawke shook herself out of the moment and stepped forward to take his other side; trying to ignore the lost and fearful look that had come to his face. They settled him on a nearby cot, and Lyna became all business as she set about getting him water, and wiping a cloth over his sweat covered face.

He mumbled some questions about what had happened. He couldn't remember anything of the past several minutes. Lyna told him that she and Justice and been in an argument, but that it was nothing he needed to concern himself with. Hawke watched them both warily, uncomfortable with how easily she could lie and stand there showering him with tenderness. All the while her blistered leg hidden, and her angry words still hanging in the air.

They both told him to rest, the others having gone back to hang by the door. Hawke sent him a bright smile, her gaze warm. "I know you wanted to talk to me, but rest first, you look ready to drop. I will come back later, and completely agree to whatever you would like me to do." She stepped back as he gave her a smiling nod. His gaze turned to Lyna, his smile wavering, questions at the tip of his tongue. She passed a hand over his cheek, before laying a finger over his lips as his mouth opened. She gave a shake of her head, "_Ar'din nuvenin na'din_," she said quietly before removing her fingers and replacing them with a quick playful kiss. As she drew back her face lightened, and she laughed at the blush that crossed his face; clearly unaware of the meaning of what she had said. Hawke filed it away to ask about later.

"Don't worry about it. Rest, eat. You are too skinny, my friend. I worry for your health. Perhaps I shall steal you away tonight, try to fatten you up. I'm not too bad a cook, if you remember."

At his nod, and the more relaxed expression on his face, she straightened. "Good," she said lightly before turning to head out the door. Hawke, Aveline, and Varric following after their own murmured goodbyes.

Hawke wondered idly if the others were as confused as she was.

They stopped in a small cluster down the steps from the clinic, Lyna turning to look them all over, as if seeing them for the first time. Her face was scrunched with concern for a moment before she seemed to forcibly relax, her gaze finally settling on Hawke with an apologetic glint. "I suppose you were coming to ask Anders help with something. Very sorry I ruined that for you. Maybe it doesn't need magic, and I can help instead?"

Hawke stared, unsure of if she should bring up what just happened. Deciding to hold off a moment she settled with, "Are you sure you would be up to it? Your leg looks like an over cooked bird."

Lyna laughed lightly and waved a hand as she said, "Yes, yes. A burn will not stop me." She turned to Aveline as the Guard Captain began to explain why they had come down to Darktown in the first place. Her expression showed the precise amount of concern and understanding annoyance for the other woman's problem, and Hawke wondered, not for the first time, at the ease with which she focused on other things.

Agreeing to accompany them, Lyna fell in step beside Hawke, her hands working together to chip at the dried blood around her nails. Hawke watched from the corner of her eye before decided that at least one question wouldn't hurt.

"What did you say to him?" At Lyna's confused glance, she elaborated, "To Anders, at the end." The elf dropped her hands, her gaze moving front again. When her answer came a few moments later it was quiet, pitched low as to not be heard by the others.

"I said I didn't want to kill him."

As Hawke made to say something else, Lyna held up a hand, a friendly smile forming even as her eyes remained distant. "Leave it, Marian. It will work out as it does. Nothing we can do at the moment. Unless you do want to kill him."

Hawke let her words die on her lips. No she did not want that.

* * *

_Ar tu na'din -_ I will kill you.

_Halam sahin -_ This ends now.

_Ma emma harel -_ You should fear me.


	13. Chapter 13

**New chapter. Bit of fluff between Lyna and Zevran. Realized I hadn't really written anything with just the two of them.**

**This is moving back into Lyna's perspective again, and will probably stay there for the next few chapters.**

**Also, I know I kind of skipped over Aveline's quest. The simple reason being that I just never really **_**liked**_** Aveline's quests, save the second chapter one with her and Donnic. Don't know why, just could never get into them, so I really couldn't get into writing about them. Sorry if that annoys anybody.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Oh! Before I forget, ****_cariño _****is Spanish for sweetheart. I went with Spanish because that seemed to be the general consensus of what they speak in Antiva according to the Dragon Age wiki. hope that works... otherwise... well... hmm... I'll go with artistic license again.  
**

* * *

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Lyna leaned more heavily on Varric, and winced as pain shot through her left side.

She was incredibly stupid.

A laugh slipped through her lips. A small snort of a sound that made her laugh even harder. Varric glanced up at her, his brow raised in question as he adjusted his hold on her waist. "Look, Hero, if you are going to have a break down or something let me know now. I can get you situated and get myself to a safe distance."

She continued to laugh a few moments more, her limp becoming more pronounced, before she took in some sucking breaths and relinquished some of the extra weight she had put on him.

"I promise you will be the first to know, my friend." She tilted a smile down to him as they continued up the stairs.

She turned her attention to cursing every single step they took. Trying to think of different words for the same vile things to occupy herself. This city had too many stairs. Who could want to live in such a place? Always walking up and down. It was simply annoying.

She glanced down as another step up pulled at her. Her leg was raw, the skin gone, and the pink underneath weeping a mixture of blood and other liquids. Further up, along her waist was a large slash, blood leaking out in a slow pour..

She wondered idly if it was bad that her head swam from looking down.

They had fought the man, and his hirelings, that were causing such trouble for Aveline. The Guard Captain herself had given a very impassioned speech, and it had been followed by a rather quick and easy fight.

The problem, Lyna thought, was that she was an idiot.

She had known that her leg was hurt, still throbbing from the burn that Justice had inflicted on her. She had slid under a man's legs, to escape his sword, and to thrust her own daggers into his stomach, without thinking about what it would do. When she stood up the pain in her leg had, for just a moment, been blinding. Just long enough to make her lose her focus. Just long enough for the man to use the last of his strength to stab at her.

She had noticed at the last moment, just soon enough to turn so that she was sliced through the side instead of the chest, the sword sliding easily through her skin and muscle as the man had fallen to the ground.

She took a moment to catch her breath, not registering the new wound. She stared down at her leg, her brain taking longer then usual to process what had happened.

The leather that was the top of her boot was already gone, burnt away by magical fire; however the layer of angry red blisters that had covered the side of her left shin was gone, rub clean away by her slide across the ground. In its place was an angry mix of bleeding red flesh, clear liquid, and whatever claimed to be the ground of Darktown.

She stared another moment before stumbling slightly, her weight being caught by Aveline. That's when she took in the rest of her left side. At the very end of her ribcage was a large gash; a steady stream of blood pouring out of the wound.

Not good indeed.

Hawke had managed to bind the gash, and she had been pawned off on Varric, due to his size better matching her own; the others agreed to follow until Lyna waved them off, stating she and her dwarven companion needed no help. She could very well make her way to the gallows for healing. She was in no danger of bleeding out.

So here she was, walking up and down miles of hated stairs, leaning on the broad shoulders of a dwarf while Hawke and Aveline went off to do, well, whatever they did when they weren't fighting things..

She laughed again, and Varric gave a heavy sigh.

She sent him an amused look, resigning herself to the fact that he would much rather be doing something else, and searched her memory for something that would make it worth his while.

As they settled into a boat bound for the gallows, she leaned forward, her movements exagerated as her head swam. "Varric," the name was slurred and she laughed again, not noticing the fact that almost all of her side was stained red, the large side wound opening again each time she moved. "Would you like to hear a story."

Varric rubbed a hand over his mouth, long since giving up trying to make her sit still. "You definitely know how to reach my heart, Hero. I always like a good story."

"Especially one you can change to suit yourself."

A smile bloomed on his blunt face, "Yes, especially that."

She gave a nod and sat back, managing to tip only slightly too far, her shoulder bumping into a tight faced Templar trying his best to ignore her.

Seeing the steely face destroyed her already shaky concentration, and she turned to smile widely at the man beside her. "Very sorry, serah. I hope you can forgive me. I hope I didn't get blood on you."

At the mention of blood the Templar turned to look at first himself and then her, his eyes narrowing a bit as he took in her wounds. "Don't you elves have anything better to do then fight each other?" The question was dismissive and he turned to look away from her again.

She waved a hand at Varric as she saw him open his mouth, and then turned her attention back to the man. A lesson she learned early in life was that if she kept talking, and smiled and complimented and joked, then she could usually convince others to do the same; whether they wanted to or not. "Do they here? I hadn't noticed, but then I am Dalish, and we do have a habit of fighting with people, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised that cities elves do too. Not really each other though... more usually it's humans. Which is what happened here, so I guess I am not winning anyone to my side. Does it help that I killed a rather annoying mage? I would hate to be thought ill of by the Templars." She paused a moment and placed her hands on either side to grip her seat, black hazing over her vision. When she focused again the Templar was staring at her, and Varric looked to be holding back a smile.

She managed another more wobbly smile and held out a hand. "I'm Lyna by the way, and I really do apologize if I got any body fluids on you. May I ask your name?"

He hesitated a moment before taking her hand lightly and replying, "Emmerit." He glanced down at where her hand trembled in his then look up to her face again. "You are very pale..." She withdrew her hand and regripped the seat before rolling a shrug that caused sparks of pain to dance in front of her eyes. "Ah, well, side effect of blood loss I am sure."

The boat came to a jerking halt beside the Gallows dock, and people began to stand and file off. She watched Varric stand and start out of the boat, her vision floating in and out a moment before she thought to catch his attention. "Varric, sorry... to be a bother, but I think I won't be able to walk." She cast a glance past him when he looked back at her, and nodded to the towering set of stairs that lead up to the mage and Templar quarters. "Maybe I was a bit hasty in sending Aveline and Hawke away..." She sounded bleak even to herself, and took a moment to resolve herself to try and get up anyway.

Pushing up, she let out a gasp and immediately sunk back down, the pain sharpening before dulling to a more disturbing numb. She sent Varric another apologetic look as he started over to her, but was surprised when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up she took in the towering Templar, her eyes blinking a few times before she said, "Yes?"

"Permit me, Lyna. I can get you up easily enough, and it will save your friend who is doubtlessly tired from getting you this far." Without waiting he scooped her up, and step from the boat, Varric trailing behind, a quizzical look on his face. "Maker, Lyna, is there anyone you can't talk into helping you?"

She shook her head slowly as she draped an arm over Emmerit's shoulder. "Did no such thing... Kindness... of his own heart."

They made it up the stairs quickly, and she was deposited back with Varric as Emmerit went to hunt down help. Scanning the crowd milling around them, Lyna noticed a tall copper haired Templar that look vaguely familiar talking with their new friend. As he glanced toward them and then started making his way over his name finally came to her.

"Cullen. So glad to see you." Her voices sounded far away, and she thought he looked vaguely concerned as the world went dark.

* * *

She woke with a start, her fist shooting out reflexively to punch the person she felt beside her. Hearing a muffled curse as her hand connected she scrunched back and raised her arm again.

A groaning laugh stopped her short, and her eyes popped open. Zevran stood a few feet away from the cot she was laying on rubbing his chest. "I know I was not there today, _cariño_, but I don't think I deserve that."

She sent him a smile as she shifted to sit up, her movements stilted as she checked for any lingering pain; she was pleasantly surprised to find none. Turning her attention back to the still standing Zevran she raised a brow and waited until he had settled back in beside her to speak again. "I am afraid I did not comport myself in a manner in which you would approve, so it is probably best you were not."

He gave another laugh and slid a hand around her, pulling her closer until she was settled against his chest, and his chin was resting on her head. "Ah, well, nothing is to be done about it now."

She played with one of her fingers, and said, "I fainted." She winced as she said the words, annoyed that she sounded so sullen.

"You wilted gracefully."

"I let a... simple thug nearly skewer me."

"Even you are not invincible, but it seems to have worked out alright. After all, he is dead and you are here, no?"

She merely grumbled and pushed off of him. Sliding from the bed, and noting that she was wearing only her under armor, she looked around the sparse stone room. At least they hadn't left her laying in the courtyard. She moved to where her armor was draped on a chair, and quickly put it on, ignoring the blood splatter and hole. She paused at the boots, and made a sound of disgust. The leather on the left one was melted and frayed, the top gone and the edges black. She tossed them back to the ground. Better to go barefoot.

Turning to look back, she sent a smile to Zevran, her head tilting slightly in question. "Not that I do not love seeing you, but why are you here, and where is Varric?"

He made a tsking sound as he stood from the bed and made his way over. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he nuzzled into her neck before answering. "Is that how it is, _mi amor_? Set aside for a dwarf with a bow fetish? You wound me. If I had known I would have spent much more time waxing your bow string and less..." She let the laugh bubble out, cutting him off before she shifted to kiss him. "I think I enjoy you focusing on other things more. I am just curious."

Zevran shook his head with a laugh, "You ruin all my fun, _cariño_. I ran into Aveline in Hightown. She told me what happened, and where you were headed. There was no reason for Varric to stay once I got here, and he was in desperate need of a bath, and new clothes." He dropped a hand to poke at the slice still evident in her armor. "So are you, yes?"

Before she could step away he moved his hand up from the leather to her hair, running his fingers through it as he kissed her again. "Aveline told me it started with your mage friend. What happened?"

Lyna immediately pushed away, and started to busy herself with finding her weapons and holstering them. "Nothing. Misunderstanding, nothing to worry..." She was cut off when he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

His face was set, his eyes narrowed as he said, "You are not doing that with me. I am not some simpering fool who you can roll over. I don't care what you tell the others, Lyna, but you will tell me the truth." He let go of her arm and stared at her, waiting for a reply.

She sighed and sat down on the cot, her knees coming up so she could wrap her arms around them. "I don't know what exactly you want to hear. I was visiting with Anders. Justice apparently didn't like how the conversation was going so he took over. He shot fire at me, I threatened to slit his neck. It really isn't a vastly entertaining story."

He settled next to her, raising a hand to push the hair from her face and behind her ear. "You have never been one to stand still and let someone shoot magic at you."

She made a face at him, and dropped her knees. "It's not like I stood there with my leg held out and told him I would like it well done. I just... miscalculated. I didn't think he would actually attack." She made a sound of disgust and stood from the bed to pace the small chamber. "It's all my fault. I never should have let that spirit stay and help us. Or I should have done something when he started acting differently. Now Anders is paying the price."

"Last I checked, you did not make him take Justice in. That was his own fault."

She stopped to look back at where Zevran still sat. "He is going to end up dead, Zev."

He shrugged a shoulder, "Then he dies. You are too quick to take others troubles on as your own. You can't save everyone, _cariño_, and it seems to me that he doesn't want to be saved."

She stared at him a moment before letting out a soft laugh. "Such a mercenary. You can't say that you don't care what happens here, and something will Zev, I can feel it. It's not just going to be Anders either, it's going to hit everyone."

He stood and made his way over to her, his smile sly. "I am here because you are, and it as good as any other place. I would leave, but you have a bad habit of hunting me down." He laughed as she punched his arm. "Alright, alright, no need for more violence, _cariño. _I see where you are coming from, though I do wish you would stop pulling me into noble causes."

He gave a tug to her hair before moving to the door and holding it open for her. "I have had enough of sitting and staring at stone walls. I need food, and buxom tavern wenches who wear dresses that are much too low cut."

She gave a soft laugh as she followed him and threw her arms around his neck before he could walk off again. "I love you."

She felt him smile into her hair, and his hands settle on her waist. "You make me soft, _mi amor_. I suppose that means I love you too." He pulled away and took her hand, leading her out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**I thought about doing this chapter from Hawke's point of view, but then decided that it had been done a lot, and probably much better then I could. Also figured I could get more commentary out of an outside observer.**

**The continuation of the Hawke romance rekindling thing will continue through Lyna's point of view, since I have ideas now after finishing this. After that I'll move back to Hawke's point of view. So expect about two, maybe three, more chapters from Lyna, since I don't plan on going straight to Fenris' next quest. Let him sweat a little. :P  
**

**Hopefully you all enjoy!**

* * *

They had just made it to the crumbing estate they were currently calling home, when they ran smack into Hawke, Fenris, and Merrill. Zevran had told her on the way that she had been asleep for nearly two days, even with the healing from the mages; so she wasn't overly surprised when the trio stopped them.

Hawke was first to talk, the others hanging back a bit, though Merrill looked ready to burst; Lyna noted that she had not actually talked to her old clan member since their run in, though she did notice that she no longer had an overwhelming urge to kill her.

"Ah, two people I am most happy to see! How would you like to come with us in the event that we are overrun with slavers and mages?"

Lyna glanced down at herself, her torn and blood stained armor, her bare feet, and tangled uncombed hair falling just over her shoulders. She bit back a laugh, and looked back toward Hawke, linking an arm with Zevran. "Would love to, Marian. Just lead the way."

They fell in step with the others, pausing only long enough for her to grip Fenris in an awkward hug when she learned they were off to find his sister. "Oh, she came! Of course we will be there to help. Of course."

Fenris pushed her off with a good natured laugh, even as she saw him glance to Hawke, as if worried about her reaction. Silly fool of an elf. She hoped this helped to push him in the right direction.

They made their way to the Hanged Man, Lyna occasionally asking Merrill short questions about how she had been. She didn't particularly care, but felt as if she should. It would do no good to hold on to her anger. Nothing was going to change what had happened.

They paused outside the front door. Fenris seemed to freeze with his hand on the handle, his gaze staring blankly at the wood. They all shifted behind him until finally Hawke laid a hand on his shoulder. "If you would rather not..." The words shook him from his thoughts, and he sent her a small smile. "No, I need to do this..." With that he pushed into the tavern.

They all held back as he scanned the room, his gaze lighting on a red haired elf near the far corner. He and Hawke stepped forward, the others staying where they were. Lyna noted Isabela in the corner, her expression openly curious as she watched the two moving across the room. Good, at least there would be more help if things went wrong.

Lyna returned her attention to Fenris and Hawke as she heard someone speak, stepping a few feet closer in order to hear.

"It really is you." The woman was looking down, her eyes shadowed as she spoke. Not the reaction one would hope for from a sister reuniting with her family. Lyna got a cold feeling in her stomach.

"Varania?" Fenris' voice was soft, and his gaze had gone far off as he took a few steps closer. "Wait... I remember you. We played in our master's courtyard while our mother worked. You called me..." His voice trailed off, as if the memory was slipping away.

"Leto." Varania finished for him, then stood to look at him more fully. "That's your name." She looked away again, and Lyna took a few more steps forward, her hand reaching for a dagger as she did so. Something was not right.

Fenris appeared to finally pick up on the odd vibe coming from her, his brows lowering in question. "What's wrong? Why are you so..."

Hawke was reaching for her own sword and shield even before he finished his question. She cut him off, her voice urgent. "Fenris, we have to get out of here."

He sent her a look even as a new voice floated down from the stairs. "Ah, my little Fenris, predictable as always."

Lyna watched Fenris' head whip back around, his eyes going wide as shock registered on his face. She felt her heart break for him. Ah, Fenris, how it would hurt to reach out only to be betrayed.

Varania spoke up again, her eyes on the ground, her arms wrapped around herself. "I'm sorry it came to this, Leto."

She looked up as his focus returned to her, anger causing his brows to drop even as he took a step forward. "You led him here." A statement, not a question.

The mage that had walked down the stairs came to stand by her side, his tone chiding as he said, "Now now, Fenris, your sister did what any good Imperial citizen should."

"I never wanted these filthy markings, Danarius, but I won't let you kill me to get them." His tone and face still held anger, though his body seemed to curl in on itself. Lyna watched as Hawke took a few steps closer to him, her gaze steady on the magister.

Danarius let out a low laugh, ignoring the group that had stopped around them, including his own guards. "How little you know, my pet."

Hawke made some noise in the back of her throat, her grip shifting on her weapon, and drawing Danarius' attention.

"And this is your new mistress then, the Champion of Kirkwall. Quite lovely."

Hawke's face clouded a moment, her blue eyes blazing. When she spoke it was tight. "Fenris doesn't belong to anyone."

It was obvious Danarius was holding in a laugh when he replied lightly, "Do I detect a note of jealously? it's not surprising, the lad is rather... skilled, isn't he."

Lyna was getting the urge to stab the arrogant bastard herself, and she noticed Isabela stepping away from the bar, and toward the group even as she heard Fenris bite out an angry threat, his skin lighting with its blue white glow. "Shut your mouth, Danarius."

Danarius gave a sigh, and for the first time sounded annoyed. "The word is master."

At the last word the fighters around him swarmed past, meeting Fenris and Hawke with clashing weapons. Lyna and the others ran into the fray, even as Danarius shielded himself and moved away.

Coward.

The guards were easily dispatched, though she was glad to see Varric appear at the top of the stairs, Bianca ready, and begin to take shots at the enemy.

The waves of skeletons and demons were worse. She cursed blood magic, even as she and Zevran corraled the creatures together so Merrill could finish them in a fell swoop of earthen energy. She noticed Fenris out of the corner of her eye, fighting as if he had gone crazed, his gaze never leaving the magister in the corner.

She saw the second his shield dropped, his energy spent from calling forth so many forces. Even as they were finishing off the last of the monsters Fenris was stalking towards where he had fallen to the ground.

Without pausing he swept the mage up by the throat, skin glowing brighter with each second. When he had Danarius dangling a few inches from the ground he finally spoke in a growl.

"You are no longer my master."

With that he let his hand sink into the flesh he held. Narrowing his eyes he ripped his old master's throat out.

Giving only a momentary glance to the body now at his feet he turned his gaze to where his sister knelt in the corner, her hands held out in protection.

"I had no choice, Leto."

Lyna wanted to scoff as they all came to stand behind the white haired elf. There is always a choice.

He took a few steps toward her trembling form, his voice still ringing with anger. "Stop calling me that."

"He was going to make me his apprentice. I would have been a magister."

As if that explained everything. Selfish bitch.

They watched Fenris' fist clinch at the last word, his mouth tightening; disgust showed on his face. "You sold out your own brother to become a magister?"

Varania straightened at the question, her hands dropping, her stance becoming defiant. "You have no idea what we went through; what I've had to do since mother died. This was my only chance."

It was the wrong thing to say.

The glow started again, even as Hawke took a step forward. He started towards his sister as he spoke. "And now you have no chance at all."

Varania raised her hands again, backing away, her voice pitching up a notch. "Please, don't do this." When he didn't seem to notice, she cast a desperate glance to Hawke. "Please, tell him to stop!"

Hawke stared at her a moment, her eyes narrowed, and chew her cheek as if contemplating. Finally she let out a soft sigh, and stepped toward Fenris. "Wait...don't kill her."

He stopped at her voice, his head whipping around to grind out a reply. "Why not? She was ready to see me killed. What is she to me other than just one more tool for the magisters?"

He had a point, Lyna could not fault him that.

Hawke reshouldered her sword and shield, then tucked her hands behind her. "This is your family, Fenris."

Varric took a step closer, his own face clear of emotion. "Elf...Fenris, don't...it won't help. Trust me."

Lyna watched him wage the war with himself, unsure of how to proceed. She understood that. Understood wanting so badly to kill and not kill someone at the same time. She felt Merrill tensing beside her, no doubt feeling uncomfortably like she was seeing herself in the situation.

Fenris finally looked back at the trembling elf in front of him. His voice was soft, and Lyna barely caught his words. "I would have given you everything..." For just a moment he looked lost; a young boy staring at his older sister, utterly betrayed. When he spoke again it was hard with warning. "Get out."

She ran past him, seemingly unable to get away fast enough. Lyna and Merrill stepped apart to let her through; everyone, but Fenris, turned to watch her as she paused by the door.

Seeming to come to a decision, she turned back to look at him. "You said you didn't ask for this, but that's not true. you wanted it. You competed for it. When you won, you used the boon to have mother and I freed."

He turned at that, his face open, and Lyna's heart broke again at the anguish in his gaze. "Why are you telling me this?"

Varania's face hardened at the question. "Freedom was no boon. I look on you now, and I see that you received the better end of the bargain." With that she slipped out the door, and Fenris turned back to the wall.

His head dipped, and for the first time Lyna saw him unsure of his movements; his feet shifted a few time, and his hands clenched and unclenched. "I thought discovering my past would bring a sense of belonging, but I was wrong." He turned slightly, his gaze rising to encompass Hawke. "Magic has tainted that too."

His voice filled with disgust as he looked away again. "There is nothing for me to reclaim. I am alone."

Hawke, Creators bless her, wasted no time. She took several steps toward him, her hand reaching out, but stopping short of his arm. "I'm here, Fenris."

He closed the distance between them, his hand gripping hers for a moment as he stared at her. Lyna held her breath, praying that one of the others didn't say something to ruin the moment. Unfortunately, they did not have to. It was a mere second before he stepped away again, hands dropping heavily to his sides.

He walked back to the wall, then seeming to think better of it he turned back toward the group. "You heard what Varania said. I wanted these." he indicated the marks on him arms with a snarled frown. "I feel unclean; like this magic has not only etched into my skin, but has also stained my soul."

He dropped his head again, and moved to walk past them. "Let's go. I need to get out of here."

Hawke was the first to follow him out, her expression troubled; Lyna, Zevran, and Merrill trailed farther behind, waving goodbyes to Isabela and Varric who moved up the stairs towards Varric's rooms. As they made it out the door Merrill gave a shirt sigh, and glanced over to the others. "I'm glad Anders wasn't here."

Zevran looked over to her, while Lyna kept her eyes on the duo in front of them, his head tilting in curiosity. "Why?"

"Oh, he would have said something horrible about Fenris having a mage sister. He wouldn't have been able to help himself. It would have probably been dreadful." She pleated her hands in front of her as she asked, "Do you think we should keep it from him?"

Lyna bit at her lip a moment before answering, her voice soft. "Yes, that is probably a good idea."


	15. Chapter 15

**Short one. Didn't feel the need to add more when it would work better in another chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Lyna pillowed her head on her arms, and stared up at the domed ceilings of the Chantry. She had decided to take a few moments to simply enjoy herself, snuggling happily into her new armor. It was still leather, a dark blue at that, but it was so soft she thought that she could go one wearing it forever, and never have reason to complain. She thought about the silver buckles that covered the side, pulling the outer tunic snug, imprinted with fern leaves; the under padding and cloth, thick enough to withstand minor hits, and yet still thin enough to not impair movement. Practical, but not bad to look at either. She pushed up on her elbows to stare at the cream colored pants, an addition that Zevran had heartily been against, and the darker knee boots that had slashes in the side to allow her legs and feet to breathe. Smiling again she gave a small wiggle of happiness before flopping back down. She had just closed her eyes, intent on relaxing when she felt a finger tap at her shoulder.

She was going to ignore it. She was. She had no reason to talk to anyone. She was clean, and injury free, and determined to have a day by herself. The tap came again, and then a brush over her nose that caused it to wrinkle from the itch.

Biting back a sigh, she slitted an eye open to see Sebastian standing over her, his white armor gleaming in the afternoon sun coming in through the high windows. He looked amused, his arms folding over his chest when he saw she was looking at him.

"Good afternoon, Hero."

"Prince." There was no malice in her tone, more a gentle mocking at his insistence to not use her name. "I am not here." She closed her eyes again.

"I believe you are." He sounded amused, and she thought, not for the first time, that he had a wonderful voice. The brogue just seemed designed to send shivers down a woman's spine.

"Common mistake. Figment of your imagination."

"Ah." He moved around the bench she was stretched out on, and settled by her feet.

After several minutes past she let out a huff of breath and peeked out at him again.

"Was there something you wanted?"

"No, of course not. Merely wondering why the Hero of Feralden was sleeping in the Chantry."

She stretched a moment before shifting to her side, angled toward him, and propped her head on her hand. "No one thinks to look for a Dalish elf in a Chantry. Plus it is quiet." She sent him a pointed look.

He merely sent her a tilted grin, and settled more comfortably. "So I suppose now would be a bad time to ask for your help?"

Yes. The word hovered on her tongue. She thought on the past few days, purposefully ignoring the man at her feet. Creators, she had not been in this many fights since the Blight.

She knew even before she said it that she would agree to help him. These people, trying so hard to make a difference, needed all the help they could get. Hawke was a good leader, a good person, but she could not do everything on her own.

On top of that thought tumbled thoughts on the human's little group. They were all just trying to make things better, even Anders in his misguided way.

She sent herself a scolding look; too easily drawn in to others problems. Too involved in others lives.

She popped her eyes open, and made her gaze friendly as she caught his eye. "I doubt there is anything I could help you with that Hawke could not. " She raised a brow before continuing. "Unless you have decided to raise a Dalish or Fereldan army.

He chuckled, and shook his head. "Nothing so dramatic. I have been tasked with meeting a representative of the Divine. She was sent here to decide if Kirkwall needs an exalted march. Hawke has already agreed, I was simply hoping for the second greatest fighter I know to help also."

She made a face at him as he finished his statement then turned back on her back, and lowered her head to the bench. "I highly doubt I would have any influence with the Divine. In case you forgot, I do not believe in the Maker."

"True, but you and your opinion are respected. You are a hero after all. I thought perhaps this Sister Nightingale would be more willing to listen if I had the Champion and the Hero at my side."

Before he had even finished his sentence Lyna had leapt from the bench. She spoke before she could catch herself. "Sister Nightingale?"

He gave a bemused nod as he watched her gather her weapons from under the bench, her mind racing. "Yes, she apparently does work for the Divine."

Lyna stopped herself; forcing her eyes to look at him, her face a study of blankness. "No, very sorry, I can't help you. I want to, but..." Her voice trailed off as she searched for an answer. "I've had run ins with her before. I can guarantee that she would not listen to me. Best to not even mention me."

With that she was out the door, racing down the steps of the Chantry, and into the market.

Sister Nightingale.

Leliana.

She made herself pause, the tumble of people around her adding chaos to her thoughts.

Leliana was in the city.

In this she could not help Sebastian. Could not ask her friend to choose between what she wanted, and what the Divine demanded.

She wouldn't.

A smile slowly spread across her face. No, she would not do that to her friend, and when it came to it she would support Leliana's decision; Lyna had no part in what the Chantry felt it needed to do, and she trusted Leliana to not turn her back on what Sebastian and Hawke had to say.

Could not stand against her, but she could see her. Pushing back the loose strands of hair that fell in her face, she started down the nearest set of steps to Lowtown. She needed to find Zevran, she wanted to see her friend.


	16. Chapter 16

**I am playing a bit loose with the timeline. I know. I also know I changed Jerrik's letter a bit to reflect that. I just wanted to put the Golems of Angarrak into this part, because it introduces the Harvester, and it made sense in my mind that with the end of Golems, and the end of DA2, them happening nearer each other made sense.**

**The timeline in my head is a bit different from the one in the games anyway. Particularly the time between DA and DA2. The way I see it, I feel like there should be at least a 6 months to year gap between Origins and Awakening, and then another roughly 2 years before Anders shows up in DA2. I just didn't like how my Awakenings ended with him being all happy in the wardens to suddenly leaving not a few months later.  
**

**Don't stone me.  
**

**I am no good with inconsistencies in the timeline, they gnaw at me.  
**

**This chapter was another one of those that I just couldn't seem to do what I wanted. I actually rewrote it a couple of times, but it being what I wanted it to be still eludes me.  
**

**Oh well.  
**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"You knew who she was didn't you?"

Lyna glanced up at the question, taking in the acres of shining white before letting her gaze land on Sebastian's annoyed face. She stared at him a moment before looking back at the cards in her hand, her shoulder rolling, and her voice filled with indifference. "Yes."

"You could have come with us. You might have made a difference."

She smiled at that and laid out a card; motioning for Anders to take his turn before looking back to Sebastian. "Oh no. Trust me that I would not have made any difference at all. Though I guess that is mostly because I would have told her to do whatever she thought was best."

He groaned and turned to collapse into a nearby chair. "I don't understand you. Do you want them to destroy the city? Do you want Grand Cleric Elthina to die?"

"No." She played her hand again, and then realized that Anders was simply staring at her; off to the side Hawke and Varric were doing the same thing. She rather figured if she looked behind her she would notice that Aveline and Isabela were looking at her also. She laid her cards down with a sigh and turned back to Sebastian. "Of course not, but you cannot expect that I would try to change her mind. I would no sooner do that then she try and stop me from fighting dark spawn."

"You could have done something!"

She gave a shake of her head. "No, Sebastian, I could not. She is working for the Divine, and I wouldn't ask her to do anything that made her test that loyalty. Leliana's a smart woman, if she gave you a warning it was because things have already been set in motion, and nothing any of us said would make a difference. If I were you I would take her advice."

He leaned forward, his hands opening in supplication. "But Elthina won't leave. She won't even listen."

"I am sorry you are worried Sebastian, but that is her decision."

Sebastian glanced to Hawke, his face wide in shock. "Can you talk to her?"

Hawke stared at him a moment before turning to Lyna, a smile playing over her lips. "So, did you get to see Leliana at all?" When Sebastian made a strangled sound of outrage she looked back at him. "You asked me to talk to her, you didn't specify what about."

With that he was up and storming out of the room, muttering under his breath. When Lyna raised a brow, Hawke gave a shrug and looked back down at her cards. "I'll talk to him later."

"He doesn't understand." She scrubbed a hand over her head, loosening her hair from its bindings. "Even if I was not her friend there is no way I could get involved. I am a Grey Warden. We are suppose to stay out of such things."

Hawke gave a small laugh and turned her attention to her cards. "Like you stayed out of the Landsmeet that put a Grey Warden on the throne in Fereldan, or how you refused to help the Dwarfs pick a king, or how Anders stays neutral. I say if the Fereldan Grey Wardens stayed out of things anymore, then there would be no reason for the rest of us."

Lyna smiled and gave a nod in concession to the jab. It was true, she had done many things all those years ago in order to defeat the Blight, and she regretted none of it. Alistair made a good king, and although no one would accuse Bhelan of being a compassionate man, he was making the Dwarves look forward and forge bonds with other races. It had all been needed at the time, and Fereldan was the better for it. As for Anders and Justice... well they had had their causes and beliefs long before she had met either of them. She only regretted being the reason they had met.

"Point well made, Marian, but that was a Blight, and so I had to be part of things I would normally avoid. That is not the case now, so I am all too happy to abide by the code. As for Anders, well he did leave, so he has no need to follow anything."

She picked her cards back up, forcing a sly smile to cross her face as she played her next card to Anders, and pointedly ignoring the fact the Marian was still staring at her, her gaze now curious. Anders played a few rounds with her in silence before breaking it with a low pitched whisper. "I wanted to apologize, and thank you." At her raised brow he continued on, "For helping me the other day... and for what Justice did."

She knew her expression was guarded as she took a few moments to reply. "You don't need to apologize for his actions, Anders. They are not yours."

"Sometimes I wonder at that. Either way it doesn't matter, he hurt you."

She sent him a sharp look, her gaze drifting to Varric a moment before Anders reached out and tapped her arm lightly. "It doesn't matter if you wanted me bothered with it. I still want to apologize, and to thank you for not killing me." She merely sent him a resigned smile, and played another hand. "I am glad I did not have to."

They finished the game in silence, and after she followed Hawke to the bar to get more drinks. Falling to the side of the human, she tilted her head back to send her a questioning look as they lounged against the bar. "So where is Fenris tonight? I haven't seen much of him recently."

Hawke's face scrunched into a slight frown her eyes wandering over the patron in the common room of the bar; laughing and drinking and becoming as rowdy as usual. "Aren't you the one who lives with him, shouldn't you know."

"Oh, I draw the line at stalking anyone, even when we share the same house. Besides, I figured he needed his space."

They turned to grab the drinks the barkeep set on the counter and started back up the stairs before Hawke replied, "So have I." She stopped just outside Varric's rooms, her troubled expression deepening. "Am I stupid, Lyna?"

Lyna blinked at the question, and readjusted her grip. "No, I don't think so. Though it might help to know why you are asking."

"For waiting. For thinking that he might come around. It's been nearly 4 years, and I keep pinning like a love starved teenager." She made a face, and huffed out a breath. "I really want to hit him over the head with something, preferably a large pointy rock, and all I can think is that that would push him away completely."

Lyna smiled at her, taking in the flush that had crossed the normally pale cheeks. "I don't think you are acting like a love starved anything, and as much as I agree that he needs a good brain bashing, I don't think it would help this particular situation." She gave a shrug, and started moving again. "However, I would not simply sit idly by and wait for him to decide it is time to make a move. He accomplished what he thought he needed to be completely free; I'd say he simply doesn't know how to proceed."

Her words trailed off as she noticed that Hawke had focused on something over her shoulder, and she followed her gaze to where a dwarf stood beside Varric, speaking in an earnest voice.

"I have to see her, they said she was here."

Varric cast a glance at where Lyna and Hawke stood, and made a gesture with his head. "Well there you go."

The dwarf took in the pair of females, and took three quick steps to give a small bow before Lyna, his hand shooting out to hold a letter just under her nose. She frowned slightly as she took it from him, and studied the seal a moment before sending him a curious glance. "House Dace." It was more of a statement then a question. She recognized the seal from one of the houses that had helped her while putting Bhelen on the throne. She and Lord Anwer had kept spotty correspondence over the years since she had helped him in the deep roads.

The dwarf gave a nod, and raised from his bow. "Yes, Warden, they are in need of your help."

She continued to frown a moment before forcing her expression to go blank, her eyes cool, as she opened the letter. The handwriting was not one she recognized.

_ They called it Angarrak, victory, out of arrogance or optimism. They hoped to earn a victory for the dwarven people by recreating Caridin's research, but the thaig was abandoned, the researchers lost. The deep roads swallowed Angarrak and the dream of reclaiming our former glory._

_ We sent an expedition to uncover the thaig. My brother was with them._

_ They never returned._

_ I write to you, Warden, because you have accomplished things that others have declared impossible. Help me find my brother, and bring him home. This is a matter of great sensitivity, and I can trust only you._

_ Ever your humble servant,_

_ Jerrik Dace_

She raised a brow as she looked back up at the dwarven servant. "He wants me to come alone?"

He gave a nod.

She scanned the letter again. Secrets. Secrets involving trying to uncover, yet again, Caridin's work. Work she had promised to not let be recreated. "Did Lord Anwer know of this expedition?"

He shook his head, his hands twisting in front of him. "No, serah, Jerrik and Brogan funded and filled the expedition, along with a few other minor lords. They were hoping to present the finding to Lord Dace." He shifted uncomfortably. "I was told that it would be best to bring you with me, serah. Jerrik was particular insistent on that part."

She felt her brows lower and she took a moment to refold the letter, tucking it into a pouch on her belt. She sent a glance to Varric, already making her way over to his writing desk. "Can I use some of your paper?", she asked conversationally, and at his nod she lifted a quill dipping it into some ink, and quickly penning a note. Two short words.

_Warden business. -L_

She left the note where it lay, letting the ink dry even as she turned to the others, her gaze falling on no one in particular. "Zevran will be back later tonight. See that he gets that."

The dwarf gave an audible sigh of relief at her words. "You will come then?"

She sent him a nod as she walked to the corner, finding her bag, and sorting through it. "How many days in?" He didn't pretend to misunderstand. "About a week, though it will take about three days to get to the closest entrance. Jerrik will be waiting there."

She was slipping her daggers into her back sheath when Isabela's voice broke the silence. "I don't know about anyone else, but I could stand some insight into what is going on."

Lyna glanced over to her, feeling her face tighten into its customary half smile. The same smile she used whenever she wanted to brush something off. "Some dwarves have decided to do something very very stupid. I need to go save them." She paused a moment and felt her smile falter, "or kill them. Depending on what they've managed to accomplish."

She could tell that answer didn't please any of them, and it was enough to help her smile bloom again, a bit more genuinely then before.

"Golems. I'm going to take care of some golems."

She waved the servant dwarf ahead of her and bounded down the stairs after him, her mind already drifting to the fact that it was probably useless to keep running in to save people, especially the dwarves, and especially when they seemed so determined to ruin themselves.


	17. Chapter 17

**I need to go over this again. I didn't even do a preliminary read over or edit so I am not sure how well it is written. Too tired, but I wanted to make sure I got it up before I forgot about it. I will work on editing anything that needs editing in it tomorrow (as well as fix the first chapter that I just recently realized is written in a different tense then the rest of the story).**

**I hope you all enjoy! I really love Fenris, love love love love. I did mix a few of the different responses together, simply because I like how they play out.  
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**Have a great week!**

* * *

The courtyard was silent save for the crackle of leaves and clip of boot heels on the stone walkway. She kept to the shadows, intent on getting to the mansion. Getting to rest. Her hair hung in clumps of grease darkened strands around her face; the tie long lost to the creatures of the Deep Roads. Her face and clothing was streaked with dirt, and various other bits of gore. She hadn't slept in days, her body ached all over, and she was very sure that the smell of death that hung in the air was coming directly from her person.

Hearing voices, she slipped into the shadows of a building and watched as Varric and Aveline made their way past her hiding spot; apparently they were coming from her destination. She waited until they had turned down the stairs to the Chantry courtyard before starting on her way again, in no mood to start a conversation.

She slipped in the door and shut it as quietly as possible, unsure of who was around. Setting her weapons by the door, as a reminder to clean them in the morning, she turned her gaze to the flickering light, and hushed tones, that spilled from the room at the top of the stairs.

Unable to help herself she took a moment to pull off her boots and overcoat, both had gotten the worst of the gore, before starting silently up the stairs. Coming to the edge of the door, she knelt on the stone floor, and after a wince at the pain in her knee, settled more fully, her bottom resting on the heels of her feet. She shoved at her unkempt hair and peered around the edge of the door frame, her face obscured by the shadow of the nearby bookshelf.

Hawke and Fenris sat opposite each other by the fire. She with a relaxed position as he leaned forward, his face creased with a frown; his eyes troubled.

"...It doesn't feel like it should."

She sent him a slightly tilted smile, her tone bland as she replied. "It seems like you should be dancing for joy." She gave a small shrug before he could reply. "You thought killing him would solve everything. It doesn't."

"Apparently not. I thought if I didn't need to run and fight to stay alive, I would finally be able to live as a free man does." He shook his head, his face darkening even more. "But how is that? My sister is gone, and I have nothing. Not even an enemy."

She let out a breathless laugh, her face scrunching as she said, "You're not reminiscing about the good old days of being hunted I hope."

He chuckled in reply and ran a hand over his face, muffling his voice. "I wouldn't go that far." he looked up at her again, then took a moment to straighten in his seat. "It's just hard to over look the stain that magic has left on my life. If I seem bitter it's not without cause." His face softened a bit as he continued. "Perhaps it is time to move forward, I just don't know where that leads. Do you?"

Hawke was shaking her head even before he finished his thought, ant Lyna found herself mirroring it, thinking in her head the exact words that flowed from Hawke's mouth. "You're still blaming magic for everything?"

He opened his arms, his face earnest. "Think about it, Hawke. Look at what happened to your mother, your sister. Is there anyone who's life has been touched by magic that actually benefits?"

Hawke shook her head once, her expression firm as she replied, "Blaming magic isn't the answer, Fenris, you know that."

"For every mage that is strong, there are a dozen more out there who are too weak to control their powers. Them I fear, as should you, as should anyone."

Hawke kept her face stubbornly blank, merely staring at him. Lyna secretly hoped she would get up and leave. Fenris needed to stop looking for an excuse for his hardships.

He finally gave a sigh, obviously ready to relent in the face of her stony silence. "I know I am conveniently forgetting my place in this... I can't blame others for this..." he gestured to his markings, his eyes narrowing. "What has been done, I've done to myself. But that's not important anymore." He returned his gaze to the human sitting across from him, taking in the softened features. "What's important now is moving forward... I only wish I knew where that lead." His gaze was searching as he waited for Hawke's reply, and Lyna found she was holding her breath, her fingers digging into the wood of the door frame. She wanted Hawke to make the step that Fenris didn't seem able to make on his own. Wanted them to finally talk about it. She had never knew two people more intent on circling around each other as long as possible.

Hawke sat quietly for several moments, her gaze flitting over Fenris' face as if trying to read what was there. Finally, in a fast rush of breath she said, "Where ever it leads... I hope we will stay together."

Lyna and Fenris let out their breathe at the same time, and Lyna wiggled a moment in her seat before focusing again; taking in the faint smile that had appeared on the other elf's face. "That is my hope as well." He paused and looked over into the fire, his voice turning strained. "We have never discussed what happened between us three years ago."

Lyna caught herself as she leaned more fully into the doorway, and forced herself to sit back even as she took in the tensing in Hawke's shoulders as she struggled with appearing calm. "You didn't want to talk about it."

Fenris' gaze never left the fire, but the smile stayed and took on a self deprecating edge. "I felt like a fool, I thought it better if you hated me." He looked back at her then, but only a moment before settling his gaze off to the side, his features clouding. "I deserved no less, but it isn't better. That night." His voice faded, and they sat in charged silence a few moments before he stood from his chair and made his way over to stand in front of Hawke. Staring at her a moment, he finally dropped his gaze when she looked up to meet it, her whole body poised as if to bolt.

"I should have asked your forgiveness long ago. I hope you can give it to me now."

Hawke's voice was low, strangled, as if she was holding something back, which she probably was. Lyna felt herself lean forward again, straining to catch the soft words. "I need to understand why you left, Fenris."

He let out a sigh, his hands working at his sides as if they weren't sure where to go. He stared at a point just over the top of her head. "I've thought about the answer a thousand times. The pain. The memories it brought up." He let out a short humorless laugh. "I was a coward. If I could go back, I would stay, tell you how I felt."

"What would you have said?"

Yes, yes, what would you have said? Lyna repeated the question in her mind, scoffing at them both for being so delicate about everything, dancing around each other. She tried to remember if she and Zevran had ever been like that, and figured that they probably had, though she would like to point out that it didn't take 3 years for them to sort through it. Cowards, the both of them.

Fenris was finally looking back at Hawke, his gaze working over her face a moment before he finally answered her question. "Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you."

A smile split Hawke's face, and she took a moment to struggle out a reply over the laughter that was bubbling up. "Oh, I don't know. This might be fun to hold over you a while longer."

To his credit, Fenris ignored the jab, and leaned forward, his face tilting over hers, and his voice dropping to just above a whisper. "If there is a future to be had, I will walk into gladly at your side."

Then she was up, launching herself at the tattooed elf, laughing falling in bright notes as they wrapped around each other; finally falling silent as Fenris pressed his lips to her own.

Lyna dropped back away from the door, and did a quick dance as she stood and made her way back down the stairs, happy to leave them to their moment.

She left her gear in the front room, knowing nothing would help but a very overly done scrubbing, and she had no energy or drive for that at the moment. Instead she made her way down the side hall and into her own set of rooms.

Zevran was pouring water into a large wooden tub, a heating stone visible at the bottom, when she pushed her way in. She watched as he looked her over, his nose wrinkling, no doubt with the smell that drifted from her, even as she sent him a large smile. "I would hug you, but I doubt you would appreciate it."

He shook his head and set down the bucket before walking over to her. "I was going to wash myself, but I think you need it more." At her sleepy nod he smiled slightly and helped her undress with businesslike briskness. Before she knew it she as shoulder deep in overly warm water, and Zevran was scrubbing flower scented soap into her neglected hair.

She let out a hum of pleasure and sank deeper into the water.

He wouldn't ask about where she had been, long use to her enjoyment of waiting until she had rested before talking business. Instead he continued his ministrations, pushing her forward to scrub at her bruise decorated back.

She was very sure the noise she made when he started kneading at the knots in her shoulders was just short of a moan.

She closed her eyes and drifted off until he unceremoniously dunked her head under the water; then came up sputtering angrily at his loud laugh.

She let him bundle her into a large towel and settle her on the bed before taking the time to empty the water and fill it with clean from the nearby water closet. Once he had settled into his own bath she finally remembered the scene she had watched upstairs.

"it seems that our favorite Seharon elf, and Fereldan soldier have finally worked out their differences."

He listened as she told him what she had witnessed, occasionally interrupting with a light chuckle; no doubt thinking it was about time as she had.

She watched with pleasure as he scrubbed the soap over his skin, his hair darkened to a burnished golden copper from the water. She tucked her knees under her chin and sent him a smile. "I have missed you, Zevran."

He looked over to her then, his gaze darkening at the expression he saw there. Quick as a flash he was out of the water, and her own towel was hurtling across the room to land across the couch against the wall.


	18. Chapter 18

**A longer break, sorry! Between school and work and Dragon Con, I had a LOT to do. Also, at Dragon Con I got to meet Raphael Sbarge (Kaidan from Mass Effect, for those who don't know) and managed to make a complete and utter fool of myself (luckily he took pity on me, and was super nice, and even gave me a free picture, so YAY him), so I felt the need to write a story about Kaidan that is sitting on my comp waiting to be looked over, so that took some time too.**

**I also learned that when you tell someone, "You play a psychologist on TV, and I am a psychologist, and you are AWESOME!" It helps to be able to discuss your job field with them when they ask actual awesome, legitimate questions instead of just standing and blushing and apologizing for geeking out on them while your best friend tries to cover for you.  
**

**Maybe I can actually talk to him someday... *sigh* oh well.  
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**Anywho. I hope you all enjoy!  
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**Remember, reviews help me to get better!  
**

* * *

Hawke was woken up by water hitting her face. She scrunched an eye open and stared, uncomprehending, into the sky above her. She opened the other eye and blinked a few times until her vision cleared, rubbing a hand over the damp spot in her cheek.

Why could she see the sky?

It hit her like a crash. Fenris. She and Fenris had been together the night before, and she had stayed with him in his mansion. His falling down mansion. Right, she was staring through one of the many holes in the ceiling. Scowling as another drop hit her face, she guessed from the dawn dew that had formed on the roof, she scooted to the side and out of the path of further drops.

She came into contact with a warm wall, and turned her head to see the slumbering form of Fenris. He was still there, and still asleep. She couldn't keep the foolishly large grin from her face as she studied him. He was stretched out on his stomach, his arms drawn up and under his pillow, and the top half of his face was obscured by a sweep of white hair. She stopped herself from reaching out and brushing at the locks, then frowned and did it anyway; they were together now, truly, she shouldn't worry about whether she was allowed to touch him or not.

He stirred at the touch of her hand, his green eyes shooting open to stare into her own blue ones. He seemed terrified for a moment before his features relaxed, a smile gracing his lips. Reaching over, he pulled her roughly to him, tucking her under his arm, and burying his face against her hair and ear.

She savored it, her face turning to bump his own, and seek out a long slow kiss. After pulling back again she felt the overly large smile return, and cuddled closer to him.

"You're still here."

He ran a hand down her back, and nodded, his gaze searching her own. "Yes. As long as you want me ."

She just kept grinning. "I suppose I could keep you here forever, as a sort of love slave. You know, go out and save the day and come back to a warm and willing body in my bed, ready to fulfill my every desire. "

She felt the rumble of his chuckle against her chest, and somehow her smile widened.

"I would gladly serve in the role, Champion, but I think you would miss my blade in battle."

"Oh, I don't know, I think I could be very content with the one you used last night."

He made a noise in his chest and bit at her ear, causing her to laugh. She ran a hand over his shoulder and kissed him again; wondering if they could block the world out a while longer.

Another drop of water hit her.

She gave a muffled sigh and opened her eyes, shoving at him to scoot out from under the drip again. "What are the chances of us spending the night at my house after this? At least there I don't get an early morning shower. "

"There are people in your house."

"There are people here too, Fenris."

"Yes, but your people are much more intrusive." He rolled to his side, and looked down at her, idly wiping at the wet spot on her cheek. Finally, he heaved out an overly exaggerated and long suffering sigh. "If you are more comfortable there then I suppose I can suffer through it."

She let her face go bland, one eyebrow arching. "Well, if it is such a hardship for you; maybe we can spend our nights in the back ally. That would almost be as comfortable as waking up to dripping water."

His let out a laugh, and pushed away to stand from the bed. "Maybe some other time."

She gave an appreciative sigh as she watched his naked figure move around the room in search of their clothes; and threw him a lecherous grin when he looked back at her. He laughed again before stating, "As much as I would enjoy staying in there with you forever, we should probably get ready and get whatever you need from your house for the meeting later today with the others." He tossed her small clothes at her, and pulled on his own, followed by his leggings and undershirt.

There was a rapid and excited rapping at the door frame of the room as she stood from the bed and slipped her own clothes on. Turning, they both watched as Lyna leaned into the room, her eyes covered by a hand, and a smile bright on her face. When she spoke, the words were fast and tumbled together, like she couldn't quite hold them in. "I was just letting you both know that I had made breakfast for me and Zev, and that there is plenty for you too, and you should most likely come and eat seeing as you probably used up a lot of energy last night."

She was gone before they could reply, and Hawke caught Fenris giving a small smile toward the door. "If it helps, she is like that most of the time. I cannot say I haven't eaten better since they started staying here. I am just surprised that she waited so late." He glanced out one of the roof holes, noting the position of the sun, and ran a hand through his hair. "I would guess Zevran held her back."

She pulled her outer coat on, and silently thanked her idea to not wear her armor out to see him. "I didn't even realize she was back, and if she only got back last night..." She trailed off, and slung her sword strap over her shoulders. Hooking her sword to it, she gave her head a slight shake. "I will never understand where she gets her energy from."

They made their way into the kitchen together, the one room of the house that didn't appear to be falling down around them. Bright light poured in through cleaned windows, and fell over the pair of elves sitting at a side counter, cleaning a set of daggers. Hawke studied Lyna's profile a moment, taking in the cuts and bruises that graced her face and arms. A particularly deep cut ran the length of her forehead, a stark red contrast to the dark black lines it crossed. She moved her gaze to the shirt hanging by the sink, and noted that it was still dripping with water. Recently cleaned.

Hearing Lyna's greeting, Hawke focused again, returned the smile that beamed at her. "Morning." She made a point to sound casual, as if she woke up in Fenris' mansion all the time. Luckily the others let it pass. Finding the leftover food, she and Fenris helped themselves then settled into the nearby table. It was not as awkward as she had feared it would be. She had, for a moment, envisioned some strange silence that would not feel normal, a strained attempt at conversation, and the relationship... thing... whatever it was, falling apart before it could even start.

It wasn't like that. It was comfortable, easy, blessedly normal. She and Fenris ate their food, and listened to Lyna's explanation of what she had been off doing. Offering comments and questions as they went, she got the idea of what had caused the gashes and bruises, and silently congratulated the small elf for pulling through it with nothing but two half crazed dwarves and an animal for help.

Finishing her food she shot Fenris a look, and felt the awkward finally come over her. "I have to get back home to get into my gear before we meet the others." He gave a nod, his own expression, she was sure, matching her own. "Of course. I will meet you at the Hanged Man with the others."

She gave a nod then quickly filled in the others as to the plan. Lyna quickly agreed to join, followed by a sly grin, and "Anything to keep watching this wonderful tension between the two of you, my fair Champion," from Zevran. It had caused Fenris to scowl and Hawke to laugh, making the room feel lighter again.

* * *

She settled at the table in the corner of Varric's room, and listened to the dwarf and Lyna talk off to the side. She had gotten there early, matched only by Lyna and Zevran, so she had time to think before the others showed up. How should she handle this? Should they tell the others that they were together? Would the others even care? Well, of course they would. She was very sure Isabela would stalk her until she had heard every detail of every moment they spent in bed, while the others would smile and laugh and call them both stupid for putting it off so long. No, the others would care, the only one who wouldn't would be Anders.

She didn't look forward to that conversation.

She watched as the others filed in, settling around the table and room. She focused when Fenris joined them, trying not to stare as he made his way in and settled next to her, his arms folding on the table in front of them. He sent her a tilted smile, before turning to reply to something Aveline had said, and Hawke breathed out a sigh.

Easy, it could be easy.

They discussed the plans for the sewers and the Bone Pit, help for Anders in ridding himself of Justice. Fenris, Lyna, Sebastian, and Merrill had agreed to come with her and Anders; unfortunately the others were busy with their own various business. As they all stood to leave, however, Aveline pulled her aside, a smile brightening her eyes. "Something happened between you and Fenris."

Hawke merely blinked at her, dead pan, before arching a brow. Aveline's smile simply grew. "I have known you a long time, Hawke, I can tell something happened between you. There was... something there. Besides he sat next to you. He never does that."

Did he not? She thought back, and couldn't help but agree with that assessment. She pictured him, across the table, by a window, at the other end of the room. Never next to her, not in almost 4 years. Strange she hadn't noticed before. She let a smile form and rolled her eyes. "I doubt it will stay a secret for long, so yes. Me and Fenris." She left it at that, and strode out the door, ignoring the bee line that Aveline made to the others.

* * *

There was a general agreement that they would go to the Bone Pits first, no one was excited about crawling through the sewers and picking at hardened piss. They made their way up the mountain, single file, Anders leading the way. Hawke heard Sebastian shout a question back to Lyna about why she wasn't taking the time to rest, and the answering laugh about sleeping when she was dead. She understood the need to keep busy, to fight. It was in the blood.

She also understood the need to help their friend. No matter what was required.

They filed into the open area around the entrances, and stopped to take stock of what they needed to fight the dragonlings that no doubt were still inside. The workers were absent again, and that usually meant there was another infestation.

They were just getting ready to head down into the caves when a loud roar shook the air around them.

A loud roar.

A dragon roar.

A large dragon roar.

She exchanged a glance with Lyna who took off, scrambling up a nearby outcropping of rock. She stood atop it a moment, staring down at the clearing by the lower entrances. Finally one word flitted back to them as another roar rocked the area.

"Creators."

She slid back down the rocks, her face pale under her tan, the tattoo lines and gashes standing in sharp contrast. She stopped before Hawke, her bow already in her hand. "A high dragon."

Hawke heard the gasp that Merrill gave behind her, and the muttered curses from the men. She simply stared at the small elf in front of her, her brain trying to catch up. "You think we should fight it. Lyna, we've never fought something like a high dragon. I don't think Merrill or Sebastian have ever fought anything more dangerous than a demon, and small ones at that."

Lyna's pale face was set, the Warden look, the Commander look. Her jaw ticked once before she replied, and her voice was tight and low so it wouldn't carry to the others. "We have to. It's too close to the city. How long do you think it will be before it moves to there? How many will it kill before the guards can organize to take it down. besides, it already has dozens of eggs. Enough to easily have this whole mountain overrun in days." She flashed a smile then, only slightly brittle at the edges. "Have more faith in your companions, Champion."

Hawke ran a hand through her hair, and glanced back at the others as another roar ripped through them. She returned her gaze to Lyna, watched as the elven woman vibrated with energy. Her color was back, there was even a bright red working across her cheeks. She was ready to fight. Hawke heaved out a sigh. "None of us know anything about fighting one."

Lyna smiled again, this time it was bright and sharp as a razor. "I do."

Of course she did. She had fought an Archdemon, and if the rumors were believed she also killed one that guarded Andraste's ashes.

They made their way down into the quarry, the others surprisingly quite as they followed behind. At the entrance they paused, taking in the creature.

It was huge; bigger then she thought it would be, and an inky black accented with dark purple. She was very sure her mouth was hanging open so she snapped it shut and looked over to Lyna who was already barking orders at Anders and Merrill, both of whom were staring at her hard faced and serious.

"Anders keep everyone's health up. I don't care if you think you have a shot at it, that isn't your job, I see you cast one fire ball instead of a heal and I'll take you out myself." He gave a sharp nod of understanding, and moved off to the side to stand half hidden behind a pile of rock, a blue aura forming around him. "Merrill, keep it and any of the dragonlings that come out off balance when you can. Otherwise throw everything you have at it." Merrill mirrored Ander's nod and moved farther off, taking care not to catch the creatures attention.

Hawke watched as she directed Sebastian up onto a overhanging cliff where he would have a clear shot for his arrows. Finally, she turned to Hawke and Fenris, her tone dipping a bit as she looked them over. "You two might have the hardest job. you have to be under it." They both gave a nod, Hawke remembering the first time she had issued orders to Lyna, and her thoughts on how she wouldn't like it to be given orders herself.

She found she didn't mind when she had no clue on how to proceed.

"Stay under it and away from the head. No magic on earth will bring you back if you get hit directly on by its fire." She sent a nod to Hawke. "You're shield will help with the talons that it's going to try to use on you, Fenris, " she paused considering, "Just stay out of their damn way."

They nodded again and Hawke finally found her voice. "What about you?"

Lyna's smile was almost feral as she notched an arrow into her bow. "I'm going to get its attention."

With that she was off and running toward the hulking creature, taking aim as she went. As she drew nearer Hawke saw the large head swing around to follow, and a single arrow fly up and imbed itself just underneath a large yellow eye.

The noise that the dragon made was unholy, and so loud Hawke thought her head might explode from it. She watched as Lyna laughed. Laughed. Then took off running toward a maze of rocks, the creature, far more agile then excepted, taking off after her.

She and Fenris made their way to it as quickly as they could, ducking under its legs and around its tail. Hacking ineffectually against its legs. The skin was like iron, barely nicked when met with their swords. It took a few experimental whacks, in between moving with and around it, to find the weak spots. The spots that caused it to screech in pain and stumble over itself. She caught glimpses of green magic and arrows flying at it from the edges of the field, stopping only when the sprays of flame got too close to where her friends stood. She could feel Ander's healing magic coursing through her, giving her strength and easing the bruises she was sure were forming from her constant run ins with the talons Lyna had warned about. All the while Hawke could see Lyna running around it, loosing arrows at a slower speed but always hitting around the eyes or in the mouth. She dodged shots of flame and swiping talons, always at the last second, and shouted angry taunts and curses.

She was distracting it.

The realization took Hawke by surprise. Lyna was drawing its ire, getting it to ignore her and her friends as they whittled away at it. She was also impressed. It was something she and Aveline did often to protect the others, but then again they wore plate mail and had shields. She turned her head just as Lyna scrambled away from a swiping paw and took the moment to stab into the soft flesh where the leg met the body.

Suddenly the monster took flight, alighting on the cliff above them, and letting out a loud roar. Confused, Hawke didn't notice what was headed toward them till Lyna shouted out a warning, and exchanged her bow for her daggers.

Dragons. Seemingly dozens of them of all sizes and shapes, swarmed the open area around them. She heard Lyna shouting out orders as she fought off the dragonlings that bit at her legs. They hacked their way through, her and Fenris and Lyna, as the others offered what support they could from further off. As the last one slumped to the ground, she heard Lyna's voice burst out.

"RUN."

It was yelled, and Hawke had only a second to register it before a burst of flame spewed from the dragons mouth and toward where the three of them stood. They stumbled out of the way, and all ran at full speed toward the other end of the quarry. They skidded to a stop as they reached the other end, and dodged back the other way as the spray followed them.

Finally the dragon seemed to run low on heat and flew back to them again, and each took up where they had left off. Hawke registered a grunt from Fenris and a yelp from Lyna as they continued their strategy. Finally Lyna shouted at her for her sword, and she focused enough to throw it to the elf before dodging an incoming claw. She watched as Lyna took a running jump at the slowed giant, her hands and feet hooking into the scales. She clawed her way up and onto the head, finally perching on top of the neck where she could plunge the blade into its spine.

It let out a scream, a scream that sent chills through her as she ran out from under the legs, and watched as it stumbled and tumbled to the side. Lyna hopped from the back, rolling as she hit the ground; coming up a few feet away with a an exited exclamation as the dragon toppled at her feet.

She let out a whoop and threw a hug around both Hawke and Fenris before running to check on the others. Meanwhile Hawke and Fenris took stock. Cuts and scrapes, bruises and a few minor burns. They would survive, with relatively few marks thanks to Ander's healing. She let out a laugh as she checked over herself, taking in the minor damage, and looked up to smile at her companion. "Well, we don't seem to have died."

Taking her by surprise, he grabbed at her waist and pulled her in for a rough kiss. It only lasted a moment, but was enough to bring rushing warmth to her skin, and shoot all sorts of images into her mind. She gapped at him as he pulled away, and was rewarded with a half smile before he turned to make his way to the others.

Hawke watched them all for a few moments then turned to check over the newly disposed dragon. She kicked lightly at its jaw and was rewarded by one of the side teeth coming loose and landing with a dull thump on the ground. She stared at it then finally picked it up to hook onto her belt. She had an idea who might like it.

She made her way over to the others, checking in, and letting Anders throw a few healing spells at her, then thumped Lyna on the back. "Well, I guess I can see how you managed to save Fereldan."

Lyna graced her with a smile and linked arms with Sebastian, who managed to look only slightly off put by the gesture. "I have my moments. So off to the pit then?"

Already off to the next thing. Hawke was still unsure of how the grey warden moved her mind on to new things so quickly. She watched as Lyna dragged Sebastian off, followed shortly by Anders and Merrill, and finally hooked an arm through Fenris'. "Well, I suppose we are here for a reason."

He shook his head at her then they followed the rest up the hill.


	19. Chapter 19

**I always feel, in my own little head cannon world, that Hawke continues to help Anders, even as it becomes obvious that he is up to all types of bad things, because she feels bad about turning him down. Like he wouldn't have turned out the way he did if she had just stayed with him. This of course leads to a lot of resentment that she can't show. It's like he is her kryptonite. She just doesn't think rationally when it comes to him, because of a warped sense of guilt. *Shrug* Just my two cents.**

**Anywho, hope you all are doing awesome, and enjoy! :)**

* * *

When the group managed to make it back to the clinic, half of them were angry. A steely silence hung like a dense cloud around them, and seemed to make the sound of their footsteps fall heavier. She could feel the tense form of Fenris beside her, and glanced to the other side to see the contemplative look on Lyna's face. She could not see the others behind her, but knew that Anders would look just as angry as Fenris felt, while Sebastian and Merrill would be concerned.

They had been doing so well, a sense of camaraderie had taken over after they had slayed the dragon, an ease that had not been there in months, at least when Anders was around, and then he had ruined it.

Had stopped them as they entered the sewers and asked her if she really thought being with Fenris was a good idea.

Called him a wild animal.

She was surprised Fenris had taken it as well as he had. She had expected far worse. In fact, she wanted to take a swing at him herself for saying such things.

No one had spoken since, except to point out the way they needed to go.

As they filed into the cluttered room she cast her mind about to try and come up with something to say next. She was saved by Sebastian and Merrill making hasty goodbyes, and Fenris following them after a long broody glare in her direction. He wouldn't stop her from talking to the mage, but she could feel his displeasure as if it was a tangible thing that crashed into her like a wave.

Soon only the two of them stood in the center of the room, the small Dalish Warden off to the side, sitting cross legged on a crate, her gaze still curious, and locked on Anders as if she was merely waiting for him to speak.

Hawke turned her gaze back to her friend, watched him shift restlessly, his eyes downcast before finally risking a brief glance at both women.

"There is one more thing I would ask of you, and I can't tell you why."

She thought she heard a stifled sigh from the elf, but kept her gaze focused on the man in front of her, her arms crossing over her chest plate.

"I must get into the Chantry, without being seen. Will you talk to the Grand Cleric for me? Distract her long enough for me to do what must be done?"

She cocked her head slightly, her hip going to rest on the pillar at her side. "What do you want us to talk about?"

He rolled a shrug, a hand waving dismissively. "Food? The weather? What does it matter?" He trailed off as a thought seemed to come to him. "No, talk of mages. Give her one final chance to hear what we have suffered. To pick a side. Perhaps she'll be more inclined to listen to you."

"Tell me your plan."

He gave a shake of his head, his arms mirroring her own. "You would not thank me if I told you. If you support freedom for mages, help me. That's all I can say."

She felt her brows lower and knew she was scowling at him, though she tried her best to smooth it out. "What is it you don't want me to see?"

She saw his hands clench on themselves, the knuckles whitening under the tension, though his voice didn't change. "You said you believe in me. Again and again, you have shown your support for mages. " At her slight nod, he continued. "Then trust me now. I am doing only what is necessary."

She heard a shifting, and glanced over to see Lyna lean forward, one leg falling to dangle over the edge of the crate, her eyes narrowed, and a frown on her face. "Was this ever about you and Justice? Or have you lied the whole time?"

"I lied. There is no potion." His tone was frank, the words curt. He and Lyna stared at each other for a long moment before he finally looked away, his hands dropping to twitch nervously by his side. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, the words halted and awkward as if he wasn't sure what to say. "But what we have gathered will bring freedom for more than just me and Justice. It will help mages throughout Thedas. In the face of that, one lie means little."

She and Lyna shared a glance, then both watched him until his hands stilled, and his face turned blank. "You can't expect anyone here to act blindly. Tell me your plan."

He shook his head again, and refolded his arms, his expression becoming more determined. "I am taking a risk. I would not see you drawn into it. But maybe your support of mages ends at talk. It's easy to support freedom when no one must die to achieve it. You cannot pretend friendship, then stop now."

Lyna let out a snort. "And some take no count of how many innocents they kill to get what they want." It was said quietly, and Hawke wasn't sure if Anders even heard it. When she spoke herself, it was low, and laced with concern; she chose to ignore the jab at her loyalty. "Being a friend doesn't mean I have to agree with your every decision."

He was getting angry again, she could see it, and felt the stirrings of it in herself with every word he said. "You cannot care for me, and despise what I stand for. I am the cause of mages. There is nothing left inside me."

They both turned as Lyna hopped from the crate, her frown still in place, though it appeared more concerned then angry. "That is very obvious." She glanced at Hawke a moment before flicking her gaze to Anders. She turned to walk towards the door, her voice shooting back to them over her shoulder. "Let him guilt you into things, Marian, but I am done here. I cannot support you in whatever this is, Anders, and I won't pretend that I can."

They stood in heated silence for a few moments after Lyna had disappeared through the door. Hawke finally turned back to him, and noted that he was staring at her, his back rigged, his hands once again clenched. "Will you aid us now? Or does your support stop at the chantry door?"

She was angry, and tired of being so. Annoyed that he could so easily bring her to it, when she had done nothing but support him, time after time. She was also hurt by his casually flung barbs about abandonment. She had never turned her back on a friend. Not once had she not been there to support them. He knew that; just as she was sure he knew that telling her that's what she was doing would make her give in.

She had never turned her back on one of her friends. Maker help her, she wouldn't start now.

Her shoulders were hunched, and she stared off at the far wall as she replied. "Tell me what you would have of me, then." She let her gaze return to him, let him see the tightly controlled emotions there. "But I won't forget you blackmailed me to get it."

A grin split his face, and he took a few steps forward, a hand coming to rest lightly on her tensed arm. She checked the urge to shake it off. "I promise whatever happens, it's on my head. It won't come back on you. Go to the chantry. Talk to the Grand Cleric. I will find you when I'm done."

She merely stared at him, then took a deliberate step back. After another moment of silence she turned and walked out.


	20. Chapter 20

**Too tired to think, but couldn't sleep, so wrote another chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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"You helped him."

The words caused her to slow her steps and look up from the letter in her hand. Lyna sat perched on the steps leading up to her mansion, her feet bare, and her weapons missing. Her gaze was curious, though her words had been a statement and not a question, and her head tilted slightly as Hawke came up beside her and dropped onto the stairs herself. After a moment Hawke offered a nod that Lyna returned.

"Of course you did." There was no censure in the words, though they still managed to make Hawke shift uncomfortably. The women sat in silence for several moments before Hawke finally spoke. "I couldn't turn down a friend."

"You could, but it is not in you to do so." Lyna flicked her a smile, and reached down to scratch at her foot. "You are a good person Hawke, but your guilt will get you in trouble one day. I hope you are ready for the consequences."

"I just... don't want to let him down again." She didn't know where the words came from, but she felt relief in saying them. Being able to say them, and having someone she could say them to. As much as she trusted the others they were too close to her, too close to him.

Lyna turned her gaze to the square, and the people milling around in the fading light. "Sometimes you have to let others down. You have to do the thing that hurts the most."

She thought of laughing. She should probably be ashamed that the small, and decidedly younger woman was sitting there giving her advice. Instead she found it funny. "Tell me something, Lyna, did you come out of your mother fully grown?"

Lyna did laugh, her eyes returning to Hawke. "Most people probably think so."

They shared a smile before Hawke rolled a shrug. "You need to understand. It's my fault he went off the edge. I... hurt him. I can't do that to him again."

"But at what cost?"

She didn't have an answer for that, and turned to watch the man who made the rounds to light the lamps each evening.

"You know. I let Zevran leave once. Alistair had put my name forward to be the commander in Fereldan, and the higher ups approved it. I was asked to take the position, and I felt like I should. It was my duty to the order, and to Alistair who had put in the work for it." Lyna's gaze had gone far off, her toes tapping a faltered rhythm on the stone. " Zevran was... decidedly against the idea. He had been wanting to go back to Antiva. Fight the crows. We were suppose to go together...

"We had a huge fight. He didn't understand why I couldn't say no, thought I was choosing Alistair over him. Thought... who knows what else." She sighed, and propped her chin on her fist. "It hurt. I was so angry at him for leaving, angry at the Wardens for asking it of me, angry at them both for making me choose. It broke my heart when he left. I honestly didn't know what I was supposed to do without him. He had become... everything."

"You made the choice to not go with him."

Lyna nodded, her eyes still distant. "Yes, and it's still there between us. It's a wound that healed with a scar, but it was still the right thing to do. If I had it to choose again I would do the same."

"Why?"

"Because making him happy wasn't as important as killing the Architect."

Hawke studied her a moment, the set features and shadowed eyes, and wondered how many sacrifices she had made. "Do you ever think about what you would be doing right now, you know, if the blight had never happened? Or if you had never found that mirror?"

A smile, small and slightly sad. "I don't have to wonder. I would be joined with Tamlen. A brood of children. The both of us content to hunt and protect the clan. I would live a long life, and be able to rest in my old age. I would have been happy. It was all I wanted before everything changed." She turned to look at Hawke, her smile clearing. "But I have Zev, and friends, and all the things I have gotten to do, even with a shorter life. I am happy with that too."

They fell silent, watching as people drifted home under the dim glow of lamplight. When she spoke again, Lyna voice was soft. "He is doing something very, very stupid, Marian. The question is, will you be able to do what needs to be done when he does."

Hawke settled her arms on her knees, and contemplated her feet. "I don't know. I mean, could you?" Before Lyna could respond she barreled on. "I know it's probably different for you. You are friends, but you hadn't seen each other for years, there is a gap."

"We had sex."

Hawke's mind went blank. She knew she blinked several times as she tried to handle the images that flooded her mind.

"Excuse me?"

Lyna had the gall to laugh, darkly humored in the face of a serious conversation. "We had sex. Several times."

She was sure her head was going to explode at any point now. "You... and Anders... slept together."

"Yes. He was pretty good at it if I recall. Of course, it's not like I have a hugegroup to compare him to."

"Why?" It seemed like the only question that made any sense.

Lyna shrugged a shoulder, a half smile in place as she looked over at Hawke. "I was young, and alone, and angry at being left that way by Zevran. And back then... Anders was very much like Zev. Flirty, confident, sarcastic. It was never anything serious. We were both just looking for something... easy."

Hawke scrubbed at her eyes, her brain still trying to right itself. "Does Zevran know?"

Another laugh. "Of course. That's a silly question, and before you ask, no he doesn't care. He wasn't very monogamous himself during that time."

Hawke merely rubbed at her eyes again as Lyna patted her back in sympathy. "The point is, I was trying to show that I do care about Anders, and he is important to me, but that wouldn't stop me. Besides, he isn't Anders anymore... not really."

Hawke nodded, and risked a glance over to the small elf, unable to focus on returning to the more serious matter. "You know I will never again be able to unsee what I see in my mind. I think I need to scrub my brain."

Lyna's smile widened and she leaned over to bump her shoulder against Hawke's. "Well, if nothing else, I lightened the mood."

She let out a groan, and buried her face in her hands, Lyna's laughter bright around her. They fell silent again and sat that way until Fenris appeared at the top of the stairs near the mansion. Hawke glanced up at Lyna's greeting, and sent Fenris a pleading look. "Please tell me you have news for me that doesn't involve any of our companions naked together."

At his blank look, Lyna hopped up and shouted an amused goodbye before disappearing into the darkness.

Fenris helped Hawke to her feet, and raised a brow as they started into the mansion. "Do I want to know what that was about?"

"Not unless you like thinking of Anders and Lyna naked and sweaty together." At the look on his face she finally saw the humor in it. smiling, she pulled him through the door.


	21. Chapter 21

**I actually had more to this chapter, but realized it was going to start getting too long if I didn't cut it off, so the rest will be the next chapter.**

**I know that Lyna told Fenris back in Chapter... sjasjdh... that she had only really flirted with Alistair and that she didn't know his feelings... but well... that was a bit of a lie, apparently. There was definitely tension between the three of them on more then one occasion, and from both guys respectively. I get more into it in "An Understanding", but that isn't necessary to read, I'll sum it up in the next chapter. What can I say, Lyna is just loveable. :P  
**

**Hope everyone enjoys!**

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The mansion was quite when the messenger knocked. Hawke stumbled down the stairs and towards the entrance hall, silently cursing the others for not being there to answer instead. She blinked into the light as she opened the door, and scowled at the smiling face of the young man who stood there. She grumbled a thanks and fished coins out of her pocket for him before unceremoniously shutting the door in his overly bright face.

She stared down at the missive, the fog of sleep still clouding her mind. She read it twice to make sure she understood it. The king of Ferelden was in the city, and wanted to meet with her. She blinked at it, then sighed and tossed the letter onto the pile on the table by the stairs. She could only imagine what he could possibly want. She no longer lived there, and saw no way or reason for returning at the moment. She couldn't leave now. Not with everything that was happening between Meredith and Orsino.

She made a point of dressing quickly, not seeing a reason in keeping him waiting, he was a king after all. Taking a moment to fix the buckle on her shield strap she glanced up as Fenris walked in, sweat a bright sheen on his forehead from his morning sword practice. "How would you like to meet royalty?"

He made a face and settled onto the edge of the bed to watch her work. "I could live without it."

She flashed him a smile as she slid the shield onto her back. "I think I phrased that wrong. So, I need to go see the King of Ferelden, and you are coming with me."

He managed a half smile and pushed off the bed to follow her out the door. "I don't take orders anymore, Hawke."

Glancing over her shoulder she held the door open to let him walk out first. "You do from me. Because I'm beautiful, remember?"

He merely rumbled a laugh as they stepped into sunlight.

* * *

Viscount Keep was buzzing with noise when her group pushed their way in. She had all of her companions with her, since she was still unsure of what the king would be asking for or how many people she might need for it. Not to mention, most of them had tripped over themselves in hopes of meeting him, for various reasons. Her group hung back against the wall while she scanned the crowd, her gaze finally landing on where he stood at the foot of the stairs, apparently in the middle of an argument with Meredith.

She almost felt bad for him. Almost. He was a king after all, and not a bad looking one at that. Broad shouldered, and handsome. She thought it wouldn't be so bad serving under him. Probably in any sense of the word.

She wondered a moment if she should have searched harder for Lyna and Zevran, rather than merely tacking a note to the door of Fenris' mansion, but put it out of her mind almost as quickly. The two elves could disappear for days at a time, and she didn't know what the timeline was on King Alistair's stay.

She refocused on the conversation that the two leaders were having, and was unsurprised to see Meredith with her arms crossed, her mouth a thin line, as Alistair waved a hand at her. "Let me guess, that's your final answer?" He folded his arms, in a mimic of her pose, and rested his weight on one leg.

Meredith's face was set, her voice cold enough to chill even Hawke. "Three mages have fled to Ferelden and you have intervened to protect them." She moved her hands to her hips, her brows lowering. "As if it is your right to do so. What other answer did you expect, your Majesty?" The title dripped from her lips as if it were something vile.

"A maybe might have been nice." His voice was bland, and Hawke bit back a laugh as the Knight Commander's lips thinned even further. "I do not deal in "maybes". I deal in cold hard facts." She shot out a hand to point her finger almost into his chest. "As should you."

She took a step back, her hands folding behind her as she let herself sneer. "Perhaps when Ferelden next chooses a king, it will be one who takes his duty to the maker seriously." She turned on her heel and stormed down the stairs and out the door, the crowd parting in hushed silence.

Hawke took the opportunity to make her way to the king's side, watching as he scratched idly at his cheek. "Well, that was awkward."

She shot him a bright smile when his attention turned to her, and gave a nod in the direction on the door. "That's just Meredith's idea of Kirkwall hospitality."

He pushed a hand through his hair, leaving it spiked and dishelved, a charming compliment to his bewildered face. When he spoke it was on a laugh. "Really? Kirkwall brutality must rip the skin off your face then."

The man behind the king checked over his notes then sent a polite smile as he nodded to Hawke. "This is the Champion of Kirkwall."

King Alistair gave a nod, and shot out his hand to grip her's warmly. "Right. I'm Alistair. Uh... ah, king of Ferelden." He sent a glance over his shoulder to the other man, "and this is Teagan, my uncle. Sort of."

Teagan smiled, and reached out to offer his own hand to shake. "I'm actually Teagan. I'm only sort of his uncle."

Hawke felt herself smile. Happy to see she was in the company of two people that actually seemed to not have let their power go to their heads. She started to say so when Aveline stepped up beside her, standing a moment before dropping to her knee before Alistair. "Your Majesty. May I say what an honor it is to meet you?"

He sent her a rather self depreciating smile, and rubbed a hand over his forehead. "You could, but you'd be the first today."

She stood and sent him a small frown. "I fought at Ostagar. We both did. What happened there was... a great tragedy."

Alistair's face matched hers as he worked out a reply. "Ah. Yes. Yes it was. Thankfully the man responsible has paid for that."

Aveline gave a nod, and took a step back, only to be replaced by the nervous form of Merrill, who wrung her hands, and stared at the floor. "Your Majesty... is it true? Have you really set up lands in Ferelden for the Dalish to call their own?" He smiled at that, and sent her a nod when she risked a glance at him. "Yes. I owed it to... a friend. Though it isn't working out as well as either of us had hoped." Merrill merely stood another moment, then sent him a small smile. "At least you tried. It is very much appreciated."

Hawke tuned things out as the rest of her companions offered their own greetings, some more specific than others. She wondered if she should find it strange that so many of her friends had known the Ferelden king, but supposed it was normal considering their ties with Lyna.

She refocused on the conversation when Alistair gave a small cough, his expression amused, as he returned his attention to her. "I was hoping to talk. Would have been better timing before being emasculated by Meredith, but I'm not picky." He shrugged as he said the last part, as if he was well use to such things.

"Things are looking up. It's not often that I get called on to meet foreign leaders." She returned his smile, finding it easy to be comfortable.  
"I know you came here from Lothering. A Ferelden refugee who did well for herself, against all odds." He rubbed at his neck, his expression turning sheepish. "I have to admit. I was hoping your influence in Kirkwall might be of use. Things... haven't been going well with Orlais." He dropped his hand and gave a shrug. "Without a Viscount here, however, there is only the knight commander to deal with."

Hawke folded her arms over her chest. "You were having an argument about mages?"

He let out a humorless laugh, and raised a hand, only to drop it again. "Yes, well, apparently I don't feel the same way about mages as the Chantry does." Hawke heard Sebastian shift behind her, and chose to ignore it as the king continued. "So we are in disagreement. That means they get nasty. They're like that.

"Sounds like the Circle's better off in Ferelden."

"You would think so, wouldn't you? Sadly, I don't have control over the Circle. I can only deal with mages outside the Circle...of which there aren't many."

Hawke's reply was cut off by Anders, his voice curious. "Aren't they in your kingdom? Why not just kick the templar's out?"

Alistair let out a bark of a laugh before replying. "Easier said than done."

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

He sent Anders a small smile, and shrugged again. "We'll see what comes of it. Ferelden had a Blight to contend with, remember? We're not exactly at our strongest."

Anders fell silent at that, though Hawke was unsure if it was because he understood, or disagreed. Putting it from her mind, she decided to change the subject. "A lot of your people fled to Kirkwall, you know."  
"I know." Alistair looked down a moment, a sigh escaping. "I wish I could have helped them. The Blight devastated the kingdom, and afterwards... well, it hasn't exactly been peaceful."

His gaze returned to hers, the guilt clearing a bit. "They're welcomed back of course. As are you, but after so many years away, would you still consider it home?"

She thought about her family's farm. The memories of when they were all still alive, still together.

Happy.

With all that she had done, and all the people that she cared about here, she still could not pinpoint a time in Kirkwall that she was ever as content as she had been back in the muddy, dank, and dog scented fields of her birth nation.

"Ferelden will always be my home."

Alistair stared at her a moment, his lips tilting into a knowing smile, showing clearly that he understood what she meant. "I hope we see you back there someday. We could use someone like you, Champion."

She gave a shake of her head to clear it of her memories, vaguely aware that Fenris had come to stand beside her, his arm barely brushing hers. A comforting touch that she appreciated. Finally, she turned back to the conversation. "Is there to be a war then?"

"I hope not."

Teagan frowned, and when he spoke his tone was skeptical. "You're more optimistic than I am."

"Empress Celine is doing her best. Orlais isn't the most stable place right now."

After what she had learned from Sister Nightingale, Hawke was hardly surprised. "What's happening in Orlais?"

"Oh, the usual. Attempted assassinations, uprisings, fancy parties with stinky cheeses." When Hawke merely raised a brow, he sighed and continued. "Apparently, some Orlesians think it would be grand to get their lost province back."

Teagan smiled and thumped him once on the back. "Well, we won't let them swoop down on us, will we?"

Alistair face turned just for a second into something unreadable, grave and serious, before he looked over his shoulder with a smile. "That's right. Swooping is bad." In that moment Hawke understood something very important. The king of Ferelden was not nearly as clueless and simple as she thought he might let on.

Not the worst strategy for a king. She had seen Lyna use it herself a few times, all bubbling words and bright smiles. It put others at ease, and more often than not got more information out of them than anyone else could.

"Do you really think there is something I can do?"

Alistair sighed and pressed his fingers into his eyes a moment. "Sadly, it may be too late. Meredith got wind of my arrival sooner then I hoped. What you can do, is protect Kirkwall. It will take someone like you to keep it from falling apart."

Hawke let out a laugh, her weight shifting until she leaned against the stair railing. "Just me standing between the city and disaster, huh?"

Alistair gave a nod, a smile seeming to hover around his mouth. "I've been there. Trust me, it isn't pretty. Though if you ask me, the biggest threat to this city just walked out the door."

Hawke nodded. She couldn't help but agree.

The conversation was cut off by a sudden commotion at the door. A flurry of activity as someone tried to run in, and was hampered by the crowd, not to mention the guards. They all stared as the figure pushed and shoved, muttering apologies as they went, and sidestepping the guards who tried to intervene. Finally, they pushed through and Hawke was afforded a glimpse of Lyna, a wide grin on her face, before she shot up the stairs and launched herself into the broad chest of the Ferelden king.

A tangle of limbs, and laughter caused everyone to step back and try to stay out of the way before the two were able to right themselves, though they each kept a hand linked, and were grinning like fools.

"Hi."

The single word was said by Lyna, and she took a moment to offer the same to Teagan when she noticed him to the side. Both men responded in kind. Hawke took another step back, and cast a look around the room, wondering why Zevran wasn't also there to greet his friend.

She finally saw him, still by the door. His body was relaxed, leaned casually back against the wall, but she was surprised by the look on his face. Shuttered, blank, locked on the small elf and king. Not at all like anything she had seen before. She took a moment to look back at Lyna and Alistair, talking in the hurried whispers, eyes locked and smiling. She watched as he lifted a hand to brush hair from her face, lingered a moment at the end. Ah. Of course.

It made sense. Of course he wouldn't care about Lyna sleeping with someone. But, emotions, genuine feelings. Those were something altogether different.

He was jealous, and unsure, and it did not sit well on him.

She watched as Lyna pulled back from Alistair, looked around until she could smile and motion for the assassin. He left his wall reluctantly, his face taking on a sly smile as he made his way up the stairs to great Alistair. They grasped hands, and smiled, though Hawke could see the tension in both. It worsened in Alistair when Zevran reached an arm around Lyna, pulled her flush to his side as they spoke.

Mine.

When plans were made to spend time catching up, Zevran stepped back. Told them to have a good time. He turned as they said goodbye to the group, and fell into step beside Hawke as they made their way out of the building. She thought about asking him what that was all about, but decided to wait until they had settled somewhere. She was curious as to what it was about the human king that made him so nervous.


	22. Chapter 22

**So I have 4 versions of this chapter on my computer. All varying points of view, and with different players and situations. All equally as annoying to me.**

**I just don't like any of them that much.  
**

**I don't know what it is about this chapter that has been so difficult for me. I can picture the scene in my head, and it looks good, but when I put it down on paper it got weird. So I changed it. Again, and again, and again.  
**

**I am putting this up because it just kind of seems like I should after all the work I put in to it, though I did contemplate leaving it out.  
**

**Luckily, I have the next chapter rough done, and I like it much much better, so if this is lackluster to you, no fear! I shall make up for it. I promise.**

**Hopefully.  
**

**This chapter is the reason I haven't had an update in awhile, and so things should speed up now that it is done. I am hoping to finish this story before my classes start back up, so things should update fairly quickly, since that only gives me about two weeks.  
**

**Positive thoughts are appreciated that I don't run into this again**!

* * *

She was going to regret everything in the morning. She knew it even as she drew up to the tavern, her legs unsteady, and the world swimming around her. She had let Alistair talk her into drinks, a sure ploy that she knew meant he was going to ask something of her. Unfortunately for her, she had missed him enough to go along with it.

Now here she was, wobbling her way down to the Hanged Man, because Alistair had passed out, and she was wanting company.

She should have just gone to bother Teagan.

Stepping through the threshold to the tavern, she took a few moments to adjust to the noise and sound. Stumbling a bit, she pushed off the wall, and made her way further in, ignoring the lurid proposition that one of the patrons shouted her way. She also ignored the fact that she was probably an odd sight, hair loose and mused around her face, and the clothes she wore rumpled and from the spar with Alistair that had seemed like such a good idea at the time.

She made her way to the bar and ordered an ale, sloshing the mug as she turned to survey the room, and then make her way to the stairs. She stared at them a moment, and wondered at the best course of action for getting up them without spilling her drink.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there, swaying slightly, lost in thought, before she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to look up into the amused face of Anders. He looked relaxed, and so like his old self that she grinned at him, before wrapping an arm around his own. "Anders. Think you can help me up the stairs?" He gave a nod and propelled her up and into Varric's rooms, talking about something that she couldn't pay attention too because she was too focused on getting her legs to work.

Glancing around and noting all the swimming faces, she offered a cursory greeting before focusing on her main target. Seeing the golden elf in the corner, her smile grew, and she launched herself toward him. Murmuring a hello, she clamored into his lap, tucking her feet up, and ducking her head onto his neck.

Zevran fitted one of his arms around her, and bent his head to look her in the eye. "Drinking, _carino_? Tsk. You know you are no good with it."

"Very true, but it was Alistair's fault. I think he wanted to have his wily way with me."

"And did he?"

She smiled at him, and adjusted till she was sitting more upright. "Course not. Too tame for my taste."

"Speaking of which." A voice invaded their greeting, and she turned to look at Varric, nearly upended her and Zevran both from the chair they were sitting in. Waiting until they were settled, the dwarf raised a brow and tapped his finger on the table near him. "We were just talking about your tastes. As it were."

"_Vashedan_." She said it with relish, a laugh in her voice, causing several in the room to blink at the oddly out of place qunari curse. "Why is it that you all seem to have such a fascination with my love life?"

Varric shrugged, his expression amused. "Well, we wouldn't be if your assassin there hadn't mentioned something about you enjoying the company of three people in this room. We were all rather surprised at the idea that you would sleep with Blondie over there."

She titled back into Zevran, and smiled wryly. "A pleasant diversion while I was angry, and he was very good with his hands. He did this amazing electricity thing with his fingers..." She trailed off when Hawke threw up her hands and placed them firmly over her ears, her eyes scrunching shut. "I do not want to hear about the various exploits that were involved with you two in a bed!"

"Well, I do." Isabella slid from her perch in the corner, and came over to wrap an arm around Anders, a sly look on her face. "So did you ravish her?"

Anders chuckled in response before leaning forward to shoot Hawke a glance, waiting until she had opened her eyes and dropped her hands. "Actually, no. It was the opposite. I was minding my own business, being a very respectful Grey Warden when the Commander here came bursting in, grumbling something about showing "him" moving on, and attacked me."

Lyna rolled her eyes at the statement, and poked a wobbly finger into Zevran's chest before burrowing back into him. "It was his fault."

"She then proceeded to stumble all over herself apologizing. Saying that she had been angry and never should have presumed. To which I replied..."

"Sweetheart, if that's how you vent your anger, I hope you get angry often," Lyna finished for him, her voice mockingly deep in imitation as she smiled into Zevran's chest.

"A love story for the ages." Fenris commented dryly.

It caused Anders to laugh. "Hardly. I knew better then to cast myself at that particular stone wall. Even if she hadn't been pinning over her lost assassin, a relationship with her would be exhausting."

"Now that is very true." Zevran laughed as Lyna jabbed at him again, and caught her hand up to place a smacking kiss on the back of it. "Luckily, I am very energetic."

"And bendy," she agreed, closing her eyes.

Hawke cleared her throat, a loud jarring noise that had Lyna's eyes popping open, a laugh ready on her lips. "Well, as much as it seems everyone wants to know the details of what our resident Grey Warden is like in bed, I do have some need for help with a mage problem tomorrow night."

Lyna listened as the others agreed to help Hawke interrupt a meeting the following night, a request from Orsino that she had promised to look into. Lyna snuggled in closer to Zevran, murmuring her own assent to help, before letting herself drift off.


	23. Chapter 23

**This chapter has restored my faith in humanity.**

**Heh, ko, maybe not that, but at least in myself.  
**

**I made it uber extra long (as in didn't split it up as I intended) in an effort to make up for my last update, and the much to long break before it.  
**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The air was crisp with the beginnings of winter, and Lyna shivered as a breeze rushed passed her, the skin of her arms prickling as she burrowed closer into Zevran's side. They, along with Hawke, Isabela, Merrill, and Varric, had been huddled in the dark alleyway for what seemed like hours. Hawke had convinced them to come early, beating the supposed meeting, so that they would be able to hear what was going on. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but cold, and boredom were taking their effect.

Finally, as the last light from the sun vanished, they heard voices coming into the nearby courtyard. Hushed murmurs that echoed off the walls, and created a cacophony of sound in the cramped space where they sat. One by one they gathered their weapons, and stood, stretching out the hours of disuse, and following Hawke into the lamp lit square.

She didn't get any words out past her initial greeting. Before they could make any move of their own, spells began erupting around them.

The fight went fast, for all their training, the mages were unuse to actual combat, and the Champion's group well use to the rigors of fighting magic in any form. When the last had fallen, they made a point to search the group, knowing that the fight had been too easy, the participants too few.

Finding a note, Hawke heaved an amused sigh. "Why is it that all the conspirators in this city make their base at the Docks? Is there something about the smell of fish that adds to a plot?"

She shoved the note into her pocket, and smiled easily at the others. "To the docks then."

The warehouse was almost full to bursting with templars and mages. Lyna resisted the urge to shudder as the smell of lyrium surrounded her. She was well use to it, but this, all smashed together, was nearly overwhelming, and she had to school her features.

"I told you! I told you she would come after us," a dark haired mage exclaimed, raising an unsteady hand to point at Hawke, who replied with a sardonic grin. "Well, if everyone stopped leaving their notes just laying about, it really would make it much harder for me to find you."

A blonde haired templar stumbled back from the core group, his hands waving frantically, even as he shook his head. "No... not her. I can't fight her." He ran from the room, even as the mage pulled out his staff, shouting for everyone to attack.

She heard the others of her group shouting, even as she made her way up one of the shipping ramps to have a better vantage for her bow. Loosing a few arrows at Zevran's well placed targets, she heard Varric shout for Hawke's number, and smiled to herself. She liked this group, and the entertainment they provided.

She hadn't lied when she told Zevran she wanted to help them, and her visit with Alistair drifted back to her even as she watched one of her arrows bury itself into the throat of a Templar.

* * *

_"I could use your help with the... issues we are having in Fereldan."_

_She sent him an amused glance, and took another sip of the brandy he had handed her. "A Dalish elf is not going to be any help with Orlais"_

_"Maybe," he conceded with a smile of his own, lowering into the chair across from her. "But the Hero of Fereldan, Commander of the Greys, and Arl of Amaranthine could."_

_She let out a snort, and rolled her eyes. "Of all of those, I am only the Hero anymore, and just barely that. Most people have forgotten about me." She sent him a sly smile. "Well content to forget the elf, and focus on the handsome hero king." She held up a hand before he could reply. "Which I am very content with letting happen." Huffing out a sigh, she interrupted him again when he made to speak. "I'm no leader of wars, lethallin, and I don't want to be, even for you."_

_He stared at her a moment, then gave a sigh of his own. "Because of the assassin."_

_"Because of Zevran, yes, but also because of me. I never wanted to be a hero, anymore then you wanted to be king."_

_"And yet here we both are." His grin was wry, and he leaned over to pat her knee. "Alright, alright. I won't ask again, at least not until the mess here is over." At her confused look, he let out a short laugh. "You think I can't see what you are doing? You can't help yourself when it comes to helping people."_

_She laughed and rolled a shrug. "It's what I do. Besides, I like them, and I usually work to keep those I like from dying."_

_They shared an easy smile, born from years of friendship, and lapsed into silence._

* * *

Another arrow landed, and she turned her attention to where Isabela felled the last of the mages.

Lowering her bow, she watched as the others began to put away their weapons, Hawke cursing again as she looked at the carnage that surrounded them.

They all started when the blonde Templar emerged from a side room, his face set, fear in his eyes. "I told them this was a bad idea." He stumbled up to Hawke, who automatically reached out to steady him, a smirk crossing her lips as she replied. "Yes."

He was shaking his head, a hand coming up to rake through his hair, standing it on end. "I don't hold with kidnapping, not after everything I went through."

Hawke's gaze turned quizzical. "Keran, right? I did save you from kidnapping, didn't I."

He nodded vigorously, sweat flying off his brow. "Yes. Yes, you did. I still dream about those blood mages. I... I don't know where I would be without you. I'd never have let them kidnap anyone I knew was yours. You have to believe that!"

The quizzical look remained, but seemed to become brittle. Lyna hopped from her perch, and made her way over to the group, coming to stand beside Varric, and sharing a glance with him.

"I don't think I am going to like where this is headed." Hawke's voice was tight, her hand flexing on her sword hilt.

The blonde man, Keran, swallowed hard, his throat working a moment before he replied. "They said someone was spying on us, and they needed leverage to keep them at bay. Someone they cared about... A... a hostage." He glanced away, and back again, and Lyna had the odd urge to shake him and yell that he needed to man up.

"We had just gotten word that they had pulled some elf from a mansion in Hightown. A...Apparently it was a fight, he took down four of them before they could subdue him."

Time seemed to stop, and Hawke, for lack of a better term, froze. Her face paled, a stark white against the rough cut black that fell over it. Then as suddenly as it stopped, it was back. Red filled her face and she had grabbed the man before anyone else could react. He let out a gasp as her sword came up to his neck, pressing into the sweating flesh.

"I can assure you that all of you bastards will pay, slowly and painfully, if you have hurt him." Her voice was soft, deadly calm, a contrast to the heated look in her eyes, and Keran tried in vain to huddle away from her.

"N'No! We weren't going to hurt him! We just wanted to make sure that you left us alone. I swear!" He gasped again when she let go, hurling him from her in an impatient movement, then leveled her sword at his chest. His face would have been comical if Lyna hadn't worried that he might not be wearing it much longer.

"Thrask said that Meredith will cause open war with the mages if she stays in charge. W'We have to take her down."

"You stole a person so you could... what... oust the knight commander," Hawke asked, her voice still steely and soft, a biting edge to it that stabbed at the trembling form in front of her.

"She needs to go! Can't you understand that? Can't you see that? Look at what Thrask has accomplished. Mages and templars working together. With a new knight commander, a new Viscount, we could have that. Don't you want that? Isn't that why you have been helping the mages?"

Hawke ignored the question, her sword not wavering. "Thrask is in charge of this conspiracy?"

Keran gave a nod, his head bobbling comically. "For six years he has been working to bring us together. Teaching us we didn't have to hate each other. Didn't have to be like Merideth."

They stared at each other a moment, and finally he forced out more sound. "Your friend is fine, I'm.. I'm sure. They were taking him to our base on the Wounded Coast... the ruins there."

Hawke's jaw merely twitched.

"W'What are you planning on doing with me?"

Another tick, and another flex of fingers over her weapon. A tense second past and finally Hawke turned to look at the others. "Could one of you be so kind as to take our friend here to Aveline?" She looked back to the templar. "Kidnapping is a crime."

"You know," Varric's voice broke through the tense exchange, and everyone but Hawke turned to look at him. "As a general rule, I don't trust anyone who uses my friends against me."

"I don't." She watched as Zevran stepped forward, placing a tight grip on the man's arm, his face set in stern disapproval. As he turned to lead him away, Hawke's voice echoed after them, hot as ice. "If he gives you trouble... slit his throat."

* * *

They made it to the coast quickly, Hawke barely pausing from her near run. They had just turn to start towards the ruins when a voice caused them all to skid to a stop.

"Well, here you are. You know, you have been sticking your nose into every problem here since you frist stumbled off that boat." A man Lyna didn't recognize stepped forward into their path, and Lyna was impressed to see he balked only slightly when Hawke brought her sword up in an defensive gesture. "Get out of my way, Samson."

"I'm here to help you," he replied smoothly, a hand going back to rest on his own weapon. "Thought you should know that they are using blood magic down there." He sniffed disdainfully. "Always the same, isn't it? They want equality, claim to be innocent, but push comes to shove, and their backed into a corner, they will take any option they have."

Lyna saw Hawke tighten her grip on her sword, though she lowered it some, impatience radiating off of her like crashing waves. She held it though, and forced her voice calm. "Are you part of this plan?"

He gave a shrug. "I was. I thought that if Meredith was gone then I could take up the shield again, but... but maybe she isn't wrong." He pointed down the path with his chin. "With what's going on down there... seems to me that with too much freedom mages go bad."

Lyna noted Hawke shaking, and sharing a glance with Varric, stepped forward before Hawke could offer what would certainly be a scathing reply, and bring an argument that they didn't have time for.

"Thank you for the warning, ser, but we need to get down there, and unless you plan to stop us, it's best if we be at it."

Samson gave another shrug, and stepped aside. Hawke threw her a grateful glance before squaring her shoulders and starting back down the path.

When they rounded the corner to the ruins, she could already smell the lyrium again, though it was more distilled then before due to the open air, a group then, and probably a big one.

Said group seemed to come to a standstill when they appeared at the opening to the clearing, and she was sure all her companions scanned as she did, searching for a white head.

They found it, laying on the ground, back to them, arms and legs spread haphazardly, as if he had been dropped there. She heard Hawke make a sound, and looked over to see her bite down on her cheek, forcing her face closed, her eyes blank. After her initial search for him, she seemed disinclined to look towards him again, and kept her gaze on the red haired man, Thrask she assumed, in the center of the group.

"I suppose it was too much to hope for that you wouldn't come looking for us." He said it with a note of resignation as Lyna moved forward, flanking Hawke on one side, as Isabela took the other, Merrill and Varric bringing up the rear.

Hawke didn't say anything, merely spared a glance to the two mages beside him then turned back, her armor creaking as she shifted slightly.

"I don't understand though. Why stand with Meredith now? You are the one who showed me we could stand up to her. When I realized you would risk your own life, would lie, to protect those mages..." He trailed off, shaking his head lightly. "Please, Champion. I have nothing but respect for you, it's Meredith we are trying to fight against."

Hawke merely stared another moment. Finally, she folded her arms over her chest, metal grating, and sent them all a level look, betraying no emotions as she spoke in a calmly even voice. "You are sorely mistaken if you think I am going to sit here and negotiate what is right and wrong while Fenris lies drugged on the ground."

The templar looked back at the prone form, and seemed to steel himself as he turned back. "We will release him as soon as I have your word to support us."

"No." The word was ground out, and final, and came from the female mage to Thrask's right side. She had a sour look on her face as she moved forward to stand before Hawke, and her voice dripped with disdain. "The elf dies. Then the Champion."

Thrask turned a shocked look to his companion. "No. Stand down, Grace. We won't kill an innocent to meet our ends. It would make us no better than Meredith."

"I always knew that she would come back to bite us in the ass," Varric muttered behind Lyna, and she stopped herself from turning to ask him why.

Grace let out a rancid laugh, her face twisting with the sneering jest of her words as she spoke. "Meredith? What do I care for Meredith? I'm here for the Champion."

"And bite us in the ass she has." Hawke muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

"Grace, are you sure you want to do this? After everything Hawke has done for you?" The question came from Merrill, her voice quiet and breathless with shock.

The mage spit at the words, her entire demeanor and tone putting Lyna in mind of something vile. "Decimus was right. There is no way for a mage to live by Chantry laws." She focused back on Hawke, her voice snide. "You killed the best man I ever met, but I still learned his tricks."

The mage at Thrask's other side rubbed his hands together, and took a hesitant step forward. "This isn't right, Grace. The Champion tried to help us."

She back handed him, a loud cracking snap that caused Lyna to flinch, her scowl deepening. "Don't defy me boy, you're nothing without me."

She made to move to Fenris, and Thrask blocked her path, his voice stern as he spoke. "No, there is no need for anyone to die."

The she mage chuckled darkly, her hand coming up to slice at her wrist with a small pen knife. After only a heartbeat, red flared around her. "Oh, my dear Thrask, that is where you are wrong."

She wielded her staff like a blade, and the templar seemed to pull apart from the inside out, leaving nothing but a mutilated mass. Even as Lyna drew her daggers, surrounded as she was on all sides, she saw Hawke swinging her sword into the lean body of the glowing mage.

The fight was quick, all of them fighting with a deadly efficiency. When the last had fallen, save those who threw down their weapons in quiet surrender, Hawke wasted no time in throwing her sword and shield to the ground. She half ran, half scrambled to where Fenris lay, unmoved even with the fighting. She leaned over him, hands running down his arms as she moved to turn him. When he lay facing up, she passed her hands over his face, and into his hair, her eyes frantic in a way that seemed foreign on the usually jovial face.

The others stood in an odd, uncomfortable circle around them, uncertainty a palpable thing as the white haired elf did not respond.

The mage who had been hit by Grace earlier made his way from the group of survivors, and came to stand just behind Hawke. "I... I'm sorry. Grace used blood magic to hold him. It's the only thing that will be able to bring him out of it."

"Do you know it?" The words seemed torn from Hawke's throat, and Lyna had to swallow over the lump that formed in her own. The mage blinked, and then gave a shaky nod. "Yes, I... I think so."

"Then do it." She hunched away from the still form, though she radiated a repressed energy that seemed to strain to move back to him. The mage stepped forward, and stood over them both. He murmured a few words and used a knife to jab at the skin of his wrist, wincing with the pain.

Red energy seemed to wash over Fenris, and when it faded, Hawke scrambled back to him.

He moved, a groan loosing as he blinked open his eyes, and strained to sit up. Lyna heard the collective sigh of relief, and the sob under it as Hawke moved to wrapped her arms around Fenris' lean form. His arms came around her, and he buried his face into her throat, a look of confusion visible before he closed his eyes.

They stayed that way a long moment, the others moving off to give them privacy. When they spoke again it was in hushed murmurs that even she could not make out.

Turning her attention, Lyna noted the delegation that had appeared at the mouth of the clearing, the man, Samson, and Cullen in the lead.

"Well it seems you all didn't get along so well with the mages as you thought," Samson said with a slight grin, and Lyna tightened her fist against the urge to punch him. He had been part of this after all.

Cullen, for his part, looked confused, his gaze roaming over the encampment before settling on Lyna. "Warden. Samson hadn't mentioned that you and the Champion were involved in this." Uncertainty entered his gaze as he studied her, surely remembering her fight at the Tower in Ferelden. "I trust you were here to stop these traitors, not join them?"

She offered a shrug, after sending a glare in the ex templar's direction. "They took one of our friends. We were here to get them back."

The mage from before appeared beside her, even as she felt Varric come to her other side. Hawke, she was sure, hadn't even noticed the new arrivals, wrapped as she was in Fenris' arms. Not that she could blame her.

"The Champion is a good woman. She tried to solve things peacefully," the mage offered bravely.

Cullen studied him a moment then made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Put the mage to questioning."

Lyna took a half step forward, blocking the mage as if she was actually any use as a human's shield. "The boy stood up to his elders when they would have killed an innocent man."

Cullen gave a half laugh and studied her skeptically, it reminded her of when he had been an angry youth trapped in the Tower, annoyed with her choice to save as many as she could. "You mean he was with them until he had a convenient last minute change of heart."

She sent him a wide smile, and put out her hands in supplication. "Really, Cullen. Haven't you learned to trust my judgment yet?"

He stared at her another moment, and she entertained the thought that it seemed like he was trying to repress a smile at her words. "Very well. I'll encourage Meredith to take it easy on him." She beamed at him, and offered the mage an encouraging look when he thanked her.

Turning to look at the other conspirators, Cullen frowned, his brows knitting together in thought a few moments. "Everyone else is under arrest. Take them to the gallows." The templars behind him gave nods of assent and moved to do so.

Turning back to her, Cullen cocked a brow. "I am assuming you have recommendations for me to bring to Meredith." A statement, not a question.

She saw the hungry look in Samson's eyes and ignored it. He was no different from the mage, turning to what was most convenient when things looked bleak. She wouldn't punish him for it, but she didn't think he needed to be rewarded either.

"Just to be merciful, knight captain. Their hearts were in the right place, even if their brains weren't."

He nodded in understanding and moved off to survey the proceeding of his company.

When she turned back, she sent Varric and Merrill a wink before focusing on where Hawke and Isabela were helping Fenris to his feet.

"To home then," she asked, almost conversationally. Hawke gave a nod, her face still a study of worry and anger, but also profound relief. Smiling at it, Lyna turned to make her way back up the path.


	24. Chapter 24

**Since I am basically at the end of quests before the last one, I decided to add a couple of fluffy chapters, because... well I can. So there. ;)  
**

**Also, I know I said at the beginning that Lyna wouldn't be in any main quests... but... I kinda already broke that, and I know for a fact I am going to break it again. How much she is involved just seems to keep morphing the further I get in the story...sorry.  
**

**Anywho. I hope you like. We are looking at the home stretch here... which doesn't really mean anything because we still have more then a couple of chapters left, but I felt like I should give a warning.  
**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Lyna watched from the doorway a few moments, the tray she carried resting comfortably on her hip and her fingers tapping over the door knob, as Hawke paced by the fire, gaze fixed on the bed where Fenris lay sleeping.

Pasting a smile to her face she pushed further into the room and set the tray on the desk. She kept her tone light as she spoke. "You need to eat."

Hawke merely stared at her a moment, watching as she poured some tea into a cup and moved to the chair in the corner of the room. Finally, Hawke shook her head, and turned back to look at the bed. "I'm not hungry."

"Orana is beside herself with wanting to make sure you're taken care of. It was all I could do to keep her from coming up here to fuss over you. So, unless you want to worry her, and get all that attention, I would try to at least eat some of it." She watched the indecision cross her pale features, and offered another smile, turning her own attention to the form on the bed. "He's fine, Marian. Just needs to rest."

Giving in Hawke made her way to the desk, and slumped in the chair. Half-heartedly shoving at the food on the plate, she frowned at the wall in front of her. Settling into the silence, Lyna almost jumped when Hawke spoke, her voice soft and blank of it's usual sarcastic bite. "I didn't bring him along because he is always so angry and annoyed when we help mages. He does it... I mean, he helps if I ask him too, but I always figure it's easier when he isn't there."

Lyna blinked. "Please don't tell me you think this is your fault."

"I don't think I made Grace any more crazy then she already was, but... If he had been with me..." She trailed off, still frowning.

"Someone else would have been taken. Merrill, or Isabela, or Varric. It wasn't Fenris they wanted exclusively. They just wanted to get at you, and anyone of your friends would have done."

"Maybe."

Lyna tucked her feet into the chair, and took another drink. "Definitely." She watched as Hawke continued to pushed food around on her plate.

"They don't make it easy do they."

It was a statement, and Lyna was at a loss for a few moments at what to say, unsure as she was about 'who' they were. Finally, it came to her. Mages, of course. Who else would be making things hard?

"Yes." She had never been one to dress up answers, and she liked Hawke well enough not to try.

The human shifted, her face still carefully blank. "I know magic isn't to blame. I know that not all mages, not even most mages will do such things, but... they make it hard."

She didn't have anything to say to that.

They lapsed into silence, the quiet easy as Hawke took a few small bites of her food. After what seemed like ages Lyna heard the sound of feet coming up the stairs, and turned to look at the door, even as Hawke did the same.

Aveline and Zevran appeared in the room, both looking exhausted, and put out, and, at least on Aveline's end, a little annoyed. "I just wanted to let you know that I gave Keran into Cullen's custody," Aveline's voice was quiet, her gaze almost apologetic as she looked at Hawke. "They wanted to deal with it themselves."

"Understandable." Hawke's voice was still unreadable, and they all stayed in a circle of awkward silence for several moments before Lyna set her cup on the nearby table, and stood to make her way over to the two in the door.

She tucked her hand into Zevran's, and shot a glance to the others in the room. She had no words, she wasn't Hawke with her ready tongue, and quick wit. Instead she offered a promise to check in later, and a meaningful glance at Aveline, before slipping out the door, tugging Zevran after her.

They stepped into the cool night, and she took a deep breath before turning to give a hard hug to the man behind her. He passed a hand over her head, and she saw him raise a brow as she turned to walk into the night. "And that was for?"

She rolled a shrug and smiled back at him. "Hawke handled Fenris being abducted much better than I would have if it was you. It just reminded me that I am glad you are within arm's reach."

She heard him laugh, his hand pulling from hers to tuck around her waist. "I can think of ways to show your appreciation."

She felt his hand slid up her side, and batted at it good-naturedly. "I'm sure we can come to some understanding."

He pulled at her until they both stumbled into the dark shadows by a pillar, and pinned her against the cool marble. "I have been very neglected, _cariño_. It has been days." He ducked his head over hers, and she laughed even as she turned her face up to his, her hands coming up to bracket his face. "Poor Zevran, how have you stood it?"

He merely moved his mouth to her ear, a nip at the pointed tip causing her to jerk at the tickle. "Yes, poor me," he said with a distinct longing to his voice.

She laughed and shoved playfully at him, turning her head away even as she felt him drift down from the tip of her ear. She glanced around his arm to the stairway at the other end of the courtyard. "We are almost back to the mansion." She nodded to the stairwell, dipping out of the way of his questing mouth.

Zevran made some sound of assent, but continued down her neck. She smiled over him, and started to say something else, but stopped as she felt the tunic of her armor loosen. Risking a glance down, and bringing her hands up to intercept his, she stopped him as his fingers made to loosen another buckle. "Zevran!" She laughed it out, the exclamation hushed in deference to the fact that guards patrolled the area.

"I know, I know," his said huskily, his mouth wondering to her collarbone. "I am completely incorrigible." His hands brushed hers away and loosened another buckle.

She shoved at him again, and made to move past, starting a playful struggle that lead to him undoing the last buckle, and cold air rushing over her under tunic. Exerting more pressure she shoved at his shoulders, hearing a growl as his head came up, he eyes dark.

"We need to get inside." She felt her face flame, and ignored the smile that tugged at her lips. He stared at her a moment, a sharp smile slicking over his face even as he dipped back to her throat.

"You want to be inside, yes?" His voice was muffled, and she gave an emphatic nod. A laugh burst hot against her throat before he lifted his head to look at her again. Leaning forward, she felt his lips brush the shell of her ear, his voice dipping to a quite threat.

"Then I suggest you run."

A thrill of fear chased over her skin, and she did.


	25. Chapter 25

**So much sweetness... ~.~**

**Enjoy!**

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As Aveline made her way out, Hawke set down the fork she had been holding poised over her food, and gave up the pretence that she had been trying to eat. Rubbing a hand over her face, she turned to look at the lump that had burrowed under the covers of the bed. Giving in, finally able to now that she was alone, she stood and made her way over to the bed. Taking a moment to remove her robe, she slid under the sheets, and scooted herself over until she had pressed herself as closely as she could to the sleeping elf's back.

She didn't want to think about how close it was to her almost losing him. Didn't want to think about what foul magic had been used against him, made him weak, put him at their mercy. She tried to focus on the fact that she had saved him. This time she hadn't been too late, hadn't failed someone else.

She wrapped her arm, and leg over him, her face burying into the fall of hair on the back of his head. She breathed in the fresh soap sent of it, and closed her eyes, letting herself drift off in the knowledge that he was here, safe, and she could touch him.

When she awoke, light was filtering in from the high windows of the room, and she stared blurry eyes at the patch of sun that was working its way over the wall. She grumbled under her breath and pressed back into the form she was holding, realizing only belatedly that it was shifting.

She opened her eyes again to stare into Fenris' face, an amused smile working over his features as he finally managed to turn and face her more fully.

"Isn't a sick bed only for one person?"

She let the grin come, a quick flash before she responded. "They actually work much better when they are shared."

"Is that so?"

She gave a nod, and scooted up to rest her chin on his chest. "It's a little known fact."

He made a sound of ascent and lifted a hand to brush the ragged locks of hair from her face. "You look tired, Hawke."

"Well, we can't all get put under a spell and sleep for days on end."

Instead of returning her smile, he brushed his fingers over her cheek, his green eyes assessing. "I'm sorry I worried you. I should not have let them take me."

She shook her head and ducked her face to press it into his chest. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone." Her voice was muffled, and she wondered if he had heard her when she felt his chest rumble. "Am I that incompetent? Last I checked I lasted several years before I met you."

He laughed again, and she soaked in the noise, pressing closer a moment before lifting her head. She watched as his expression turned to one of panic when he noticed her watering eyes. Suddenly he was pushing up, sitting forward to pull her up with him, and patting at her awkwardly. "What? What is this? Hawke, don't. Don't cry."

His voice was stern, and she would have laughed at the utter horror on his rapidly paling face if she hadn't been fighting back tears.

Annoyed with herself she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes as hard as she could. When she spoke, it was weak and warbled, and utterly disgusted her. "I love you. I _love_ you, and when I thought I might have lost you..." She trailed off with a heavy breath, and pressed harder at her face. "I've lost so much. I couldn't lose you too. Especially when I hadn't told you how important you are." She broke down into sobs a moment, mentally cursing her lack of control. She felt his hands press at her shoulders again, running up in jerky, awkward strokes to her hair, and back again. His voice was strained, and she knew if she looked at him that panic would still be there. "_Venhedis_! Hawke. Hawke, stop crying!"

When she didn't respond, only hiccuped another cry, he gave her a small shake. "I can't think when you're doing that." He practically growled it, and the distinct mark of desperation in his tone was just enough to catch her attention. She sucked in a breath, then another, and scrubbed at her eyes. When she thought she could, she lifted her face, her gaze meeting his in the early morning light.

They stared at each other a moment, his hands flexing on her shoulders before he dropped them, and huffed out a short breath, his hair falling over an eye as he studied her. "I'm sorry you were worried about me, but it wasn't your fault. It was the mages." He said the last word like it was a curse, but didn't appear to want to dwell on it.

"I don't expect, or want you to protect me. Isn't that the point of being free? I need to take care of myself, but I am grateful for the rescue." With the tears gone, he appeared more relaxed, the corners of his mouth hinting at a smile. "I am fine. You killed them. What more do you need?"

She launched herself against him, arms wrapping tight around his neck, relishing the feel of his hair where it tickled at her nose. "Nothing now," she replied, pressing her cheek against his.

His hands came up to grip in her hair, and he pushed her back just enough to meet her eyes. "I love you too, Hawke." A smirk tilted his lips when she smiled widely at him. "No matter that you will probably be the death of me."

He kissed her then, a hard play of lips and tongue. There was a desperation in it, and a relief. That he could. That it was within reach. She let him lead it, and muffled her laugh against his mouth when he tumbled her back onto the bed.

They stayed there long into the day, wrapped in each other, and blocking out the rest of the world. Things were falling apart around them, but right now, this moment, this they would enjoy.


	26. Chapter 26

**I don't think I could ever be a voice actor. Standing in a room saying all those emotional, and or romantic things? I don't think I would be able to take any of it seriously. It's just so goofily smooshy sometimes.**

**Just thought I would share that.  
**

**I have to give mad props to those who can do it though. Especially Adam Howden, for DA2 specifically, because Anders has some really really amusingly squishy lines. The guy who plays Corso in SWTOR should get some of that too.  
**

**Anywho, I think I got off topic. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! We are closing in to the end. I'd say probably 3 or 4 more chapters... though I suppose I could always surprise myself.**

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The weeks following the kidnapping went by in a blur. The utter lack of any crisis caused a complacency over the group, and the days seemed to blend together. She wanted to enjoy it. Wanted to enjoy the calm before the inevitable storm that she knew would come to pass, but she couldn't relax with it. She knew how this city worked. There weren't weeks, or even days of uneventfulness without some sort of repercussion.

It was just a matter of how long before the axe came crashing down.

She grew impatient with it, wary, and annoyed. She didn't trust it. Not one bit.

Fenris had laughed at her, Zevran had offered up raher specific sexual options, Lyna told her to not go looking for trouble, Varric had shrugged and gone back to telling his stories, Aveline had offered for her to help train the new guard, Merrill had sympathetically been no help at all, Sebastian told her he prayed things were really finally calm, and she hadn't seen Anders since the day of King Alistair's visit.

It left only Isabela to share in her restlessness. That was the only reason she could see of that the two of them were currently standing on an outcropping of the Wounded Coast, surrounded by a litter of dead thugs.

Maybe she should have taken Aveline up on her offer.

At least they were cleaning up the area.

She watched as Isabela rifled through the dead men's pockets, stuffing the coin she found into a pouch at her side. Hawke settled onto a rock, stretching her feet out and setting her shield at her side. "I think I am all thugged out, Bela," she called over the noise of the waves crashing below them.

Isabela shot her a smile before making her way over to drop onto the rock herself. "Well, that's fine. We made a good haul."

Hawke laughed, and reached a hand out to jingle the pouch at Isabel's waist. "You mean you made a good haul, unless yo suddenly decided you wanted to share. I have never known you for that."

Isabela simply continued to smile, and rolled a shrug. "You are rich enough as it is. Anymore and you might start putting on airs."

"Right, right. For my own good. I'm lucky to have you around, Bela, I need someone to keep me grounded."

"I do what I can." She reached out to tug at a lock of Hawke's hair, and sent her a wink. "So, I have been meaning to ask. What's it been like with Fenris?"

Hawke swallowed the smile the tugged at her lips, and tilted her head, her voice innocent. "He's very sweet. We talk a lot. It's definitely nice having him around. My mansion was so quiet before.

Isabela rolled her eyes and tugged at her again. "Haawwwkkkkeee." Her voice took on a pleading tone, eyes beseeching. "I want to know about the sex. You wouldn't talk about the time before."

"Sex?" Hawke tapped a finger to her lip, and glanced to her friend. "Hmm. No, I can't say we've done that."

"Hawke." Another plead, and she laid her head on Hawke's shoulder, arms wrapping around her waist. "I'll tell you about anyone you want to know about."

Hawke snorted, and shoved at the other woman until she relented and let her go. "Trust me, Isabela, the last thing I want to hear about are you're romantic conquests."

"Oh come on. I want to know if he is as broody and angsty in bed as he is all the rest of the time. Controlled, lean, muscled... hmmm... repressed rage.

"Bela." Hawke watched as her friend's gaze moved far off, a gleam entering her dark eyes. "Isabela." She smacked her arm, and was rewarded with a blank stare and a few blinks. "I need you to stop sleeping with my... well... my Fenris in your head."

"I never took you for the jealous type, Hawke."

She smirked and flicked Isabela lightly in the arm. "Oh, I am. You would be too if you had him in your bed."

"Oh?" Isabela's gaze sharpened, a smile lightening her face.

Hawke made a sound of assent, and pushed from the rock. "We should probably head back. I am suppose to be doing something with Lyna."

Isabela took a few hurried steps to catch up with her. "But!" She frowned and rolled her eyes. "Fine." They walked in silence a few moments before her curiosity got the better of her. "What are you doing with Lyna?"

Hawke shot her a smile ad shrugged. "I don't know. Making friends, curing a disease, saving helpless children, saving a country? One can never tell with her. All I know is somehow Fenris and I both agreed to help her today without actually learning what it was about." She shook her head ruefully. "Still not sure how she did it."

Isabela merely shrugged. "It' what's she's good at. Making people want to help her."

"But how?"

"I think it's an elf thing."

Hawke slid her a glance. "She should let the other elves in on it then. It might improve their lot."

Isabela nodded in agreement.

They emerged from the coast onto the plains surrounding the city, and Hawke turned to walk backwards, a gleam in her eye. "Now that is a couple I wouldn't mind knowing more about."

Isabela raised her brows to a comical height. "Oh?" Before she could say more, Hawke raised her hand with a laugh. "Not like that. I already know more about the warden's bed life then I ever wanted to. I just mean in general. They never talk about themselves past cryptic nuggets of information that don't really answer anything."

"They are both rather private people."

"So I have heard, and they are both far too good at changing the subject."

Isabela chuckled. "What would you expect from an assassin and a Dalish?"

Hawke couldn't answer that.

They made it back into the city, the bustle of the Hightown market surging around them. Hawke stepped easily through the crowd, her tall form making easy progress to the stairs leading out of the crowd. They moved in silent tandem to her own house, and she was surprised to see a messenger standing at her door. He was saying something earnest to Lyna, who stood half blocking an obviously annoyed Fenris. She noted that Zevran stood behind them both, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Lyna leaned forward, an understanding smile coming easily to her face even as Hawke and Isabela drew close enough to hear.

"You have to understand, ser, you can't just assume that it will be alright to barge into the Champion's house." She held up a hand to still his tongue. "I understand it is an emergency, but you cannot blame my friend here from becoming... annoyed."

"He tried to kill me!" The words were shouted, the messenger's eyes shooting angrily towards Fenris, who bristled and took a step towards him.

Lyna sighed and snatched the paper from the man's hand, before casting a warning glace at the white haired elf behind her. "You aren't dead, and the message is delivered. Mission accomplished, serah. Thank you." She reached into a pocket, fishing out a few coins that she then pressed into his hands.

They all watched the man leave in a huff before Hawke turned an amused glance to the three by the door. "So message for me then? Apparently an important one." She didn't ask what happened, she didn't think she wanted to know.

Lyna handed it to her, relief washing over features that Hawke hadn't even noticed were strained until that moment.

She broke the seal and scanned the missive, her brows pulling down in annoyance. "Well, there is the axe." At the curious stares from those around her she blew out a breathe. "Apparently Meridith has kicked Orsino's puppy or something, and he wants us to come and fix it."

She glanced at Isabela. "Can you go and round up the others? Meet us at the Gallows?" She shoved the letter into a pouch and scrubbed at her hair. "I have a feeling this is going to require everyone."


	27. Chapter 27

**Anders makes me want to punch a baby... Not a literal one, but like a figurative, annoying, fully grown so it's not child abuse one.**

**Enjoy!  
**

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They made it to the gallows in record time, a growing sense of urgency falling over the group the closer they got to the prison. Hawke gnashed her teeth in frustration when they were met by a mage who told them that Orsino and Meredith had already left to talk to the Grand Cleric, and they were both ready to explode.

By the time they made it back to the docks, the rest of her friends had assembled and were ready to get on the next boat. She was slightly worried that Anders was not with them, but a look from Isabela told her everything she needed to know. He could not be found.

It was a typical thing as of late.

She caught them up quickly, and they all turned to head to the Chantry.

When they reached Lowtown, they heard the yelling.

They started running when it got louder.

She skidded to a stop by the group of mages and templars assembled at the base of the stairs leading to Hightown, and heard the others do the same. She watched as Orsino and Meredith shouted words back and forth, and mentally rolled her eyes. King Alistair had been correct in his assessment that those two were going to be the downfall of this city. It was like a snowball rolling down a hill, picking up everything in its way, and no one with any real power trying to stop it.

Finally, she shouted at them, her words sarcastic in an attempt to pull their attention from each other. "The way you two carry on, people are going to talk."

She folded her arms over her chest, even as two pairs of angry eyes turned in her direction. Meredith was the first to walk over, her voice clipped with annoyance. "This does not involve you, Champion."

"I called her here. The people deserve to know just what you have done."

It annoyed her. Their constant need of putting her in the middle. A scapegoat for both sides, to use or blame as they saw fit. Somehow, she just knew, this was going to all fall back on her.

Meredith turned back to Orsino with a scowl. "What I have done is protect the people of this city, time and again." She took a few steps towards him, face darkening. "What I have done is protect you mages from your own curse, and your own stupidity. And I will not stop doing it, I will not lower our guard. I dare not!" The last part was shouted, Orsino wincing at the sound.

Children, children, she thought with dark annoyance. "Does the word 'crazy' mean anything to you?"

She watched the knight commander turn back to look at her, her face, for just a moment, falling. "What other choice do I have?" She lifted her hands in a helpless shrug. "Tell me, Champion, that you have not seen with your own eyes what they can do, heard the lies of mages that seek power."

Hawke almost felt bad for her, almost. "Some mages want exactly what you want, Meredith. They aren't the enemy."

She bit back a sigh as Orsino edged his way into the conversation. "You would cast us all as villains, but it isn't so."

Merideth turned her face towards him, her eyes still dark, but no longer with fury. "I know, and it breaks my heart to do it, but we must be vigilant." Her voice hardened as she continued, her gaze turning steely in the face of Orsino's defiance. "If you cannot tell me a better way, don't brand me a tyrant!"

Orsino sighed, his chin falling to rest briefly on his chest before he looked back up. "This is getting us nowhere. Grand Cleric Elthina will put a stop to this." He started towards the steps, only to have Meredith grab his arm, her voice growing harsh with venom. "You will not bring her Grace into this."

Hawke stepped forward to stop them both, when a voice interrupted the exchange.

"The grand Cleric cannot help you."

She turned towards it, already feeling a frown pulling at the corners of her lips.

Anders.

He was dressed in black, his face haggard and unnaturally white against the dark feathers at his neck. He looked too thin, his eyes set back in hollows, and his cheeks shadowed and gaunt. The look he sent them though, that was unmistakable. He looked determined, an unholy glint in his too bright eyes. He came to stand just behind Hawke, and as she turned to look back at him more fully, she saw the varying looks of confusion and curiosity on her companions' faces.

She saw, from the corner of her eye, Lyna move to stand just behind him, her face shuttered, and her eyes blank.

This wasn't going to be good.

Meredith's voice cut through her thoughts, angry, and very close. She looked up to see that both of the leaders had moved to stand at her side.

"Explain yourself, mage."

Anders seemed to stalk towards them, wielding his staff in a white knuckled hand, as if he was preparing for battle. His voice was ragged, and deeper than usual. "I will not stand by and watch you treat all mages like criminals," he cracked his staff on the stone ground, and turned his attention to Orsino, "while those who would lead us bow to their templar jailers."

Orsino raised a finger to point at him, his own eyes narrowing. "How dare you..."

He was cut off by another crack, and Anders took another step towards them. "The Circle has failed us, Orsino!" His skin split with light, his eyes glowing as they did when Justice took over, and a dark, anger filled cloud rolled off him in heavy, sinister waves. His voice took on an unnatural edge as he continued to speak. "Even you should be able to see that!"

As quickly as it had come, it dissipated, leaving only Anders, his face pulling into a determined frown. Behind him, Lyna drew out one of her daggers.

"The time has come to act," he said in a tone suddenly weary. "There can be no half measures."

He turned from them, gaze falling on Lyna, and her weapon, though he seemed more resigned then anything by it, his shoulders squaring.

Hawke took a step after him, voice hesitant, she didn't think she wanted to know the answer to her question. "Anders, what have you done?"

She heard a small, bitter laugh. "There can be no turning back."

They stood in the silence, an odd, uncertain circle, as if no one wished to make the next move, unsure of what it would lead to.

That's when the rumbling began.

She felt it in the ground she stood on, a rolling that was just barely there. She watched as Anders turned his gaze up the stairs, and followed it, the rumble turning audible as things began to shake more violently.

They all watched as a bright red light shot into the sky over where she knew the Chantry stood. A half second of utter calm enveloped them before the force of a blast rocked over everything, the sound deafening.

Maker.

She heard Sebastian yell, a wordless sound of utter despair and turned to see him fall to his knees. Merrill stood just behind him, her hands over her mouth, and her eyes wide.

"There can be no peace." The words were whispered, and she glanced sidelong to where Anders stood, eyes hard as he stared up at the lingering light of the blast.

Behind her she could hear Sebastian uttering a prayer, his voice broken, and filled with anguish.

Before her, Orsino turned to stare, uncomprehending, at Anders. "Why? Why would you do this?"

He didn't look at them, merely continued to stare up into air that was now bright with flames. "I removed the chance of compromise, because there can be no compromise."

Meredith's face seem to set, her eyes glittery as winter ice. "The grand Cleric has been slain by magic, the chantry destroyed," she said with cold determination. When she turned to face them, Hawke almost took a step back herself.

"As knight commander of Kirkwall, I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment. Every mage in the Circle is to be executed immediately."

Hawke saw Orsino's mouth drop open, fear wide in his eyes. "The Circle didn't even do this!" He turned to look at her, hands up in a plea. "Champion, you can't let her! Help to stop this madness!"

"And I demand that you stand with us! Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated." The harsh slice of Meredith's voice could have cut steel.

She opened her mouth to answer, and had to check herself when she heard Sebastian strangle something out behind her. She turned to look at him, tears bright in his eyes, and his face red with rage. Zevran, and Varric stood to either side of him, hands light on his arms, ready to hold him back if need be. "Why are we debating the Right of Annulment when the monster who did this is right here!" He was staring at Anders, who had not moved from his spot, hate dripping from every word. "I swear to you, I will kill him." He took a step forward, but stopped when the two other men exerted restraining pressure.

Anders ignored him, keeping his face towards the sky another moment before looking to Hawke. She wanted to shy away from the utter lack of emotion he showed, a coldness enveloping him that she had never seen before. "It can't be stopped now. You have to choose."

She hated him in that moment. Hated him more then she had ever hated anyone. How dare he do this, how dare he put her in this position, and how dare he hurt so many to start a war that did not need to happen.

He had betrayed not only her, but everyone.

He had damned them all.


	28. Chapter 28

**:(**

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"Was this why you had me distract the grand Cleric?" She whispered the words, emotion thick in her chest, making it hard to push sound out.

He still hadn't looked at her, his gaze instead falling to rest briefly on Lyna, where she still stood, dagger in hand. "If you had known what I was doing, you would have felt honor bound to stop me."

He sounded tired now that all was said, and done. It made her angry again, for a moment, he had no right to be tired.

He was staring at the ground frown still in place, as if he was trying to remember what to say. "I couldn't take that chance. The Circle is an injustice. Even in places beyond Kirkwall. The world needed to see..."

"Fool! You've doomed us all!" Orsino bit out the words.

Anders shook his head, gracing the first enchanter with a pitying look that almost made Hawke laugh with how utterly ridiculous it all was. "A quick death now is better than a slow one later. I'd rather die fighting."

"This isn't fighting. This is murder." The voice was quiet, almost unheard in the roar of noise that still surrounded them. They all turned to where Lyna stood, hands folded in front of her, and face set with one of her unreadable looks.

"You have killed them all, Anders. Not just the grand Cleric, and those in the Chantry, but all the mages, and those who side with them, or fight against them. Their blood is on your hands."

He had the gall to look ashamed, gaze falling back to the ground, and voice small. "I know."

Meredith made an impatient sound, her hand slicing through the air. "This doesn't matter. Even if I wanted to, I could not stay my hand. The people will demand blood."

Hawke stared at them all in turn, her gaze moving over the others of her group, standing in a staggered line further off, and then back to the leaders, and those following them.

She sighed and straightened her posture, fists tapping against her thighs before she turned to look at Orsino. "It won't be easy, but I'll defend you."

She could have no other answer. She had spent her whole life defending her family, protecting them. To turn on mages now would be to go against everything she had been raised to believe. It would be to turn her back on her father, and her sister. She couldn't do either.

The joys of being the Champion of a city that wanted nothing more than to destroy itself.

"Hawke," Anveline's voice cut through to her, and she looked back at her oldest friend. "If you do this, I don't know if I can follow." The larger woman looked torn, and she could not blame her for that. It went against who she was as surely as siding against the mages did Hawke. She merely offered a nod, unsure of anything she could say to make this better.

"You sure about this? Even you might not win this fight, Hawke," Varric asked uncertainly, and Merrill responded before she had a chance. "Of course we can do this." She turned to look at Hawke, her expression determined. "I believe in you."

She didn't think that was the best of ideas.

Isabela was muttering under her breath, and she was sure that it was something self deprecating.

She dared not look at Fenris, worried as to what he might say, and she knew Lyna and Zevran would keep their tongues, trusting, as they had told her before, that she knew what she was doing.

Meredith, sounded annoyed when she spoke again, her voice clipped. "Think carefully, Champion. Stand with them, and you will share their fate."

"Isn't that obvious?" She asked it with a short laugh, and watched Meredith narrow her eyes.

She shook her head, staying any other response. "I can live with that."

She heard Orsino thank the Maker under his breath.

"I don't know if I agree with it, Hawke, but... I will stand with you."

She mentally let out a held breath as Fenris' words reached her. Him standing against her had been her biggest fear. She could handle anything but that. She offered him a small smile, and then turned it to Aveline when she also agreed to stay with her.

Meredith shook her head, disgust evident in her words as she turned from them and began to walk away. "You are a fool, Champion. Kill them all! I will rouse the rest of the order."

"Go," Orsino shouted, finally sounded more in charge then he had all night. "Get to the Gallows before it's too late!"

The mages took off, and Hawke and the others moved to intercept the templars who would have given chase. They took no time in trying to spare them, knowing it was long past such niceties.

When the templars lay dead around them, she felt Orsino come to stand beside her. "So it has come to this." He sounded almost as weary as she felt.

"I don't know if we can win this war, Champion, but... thank you."

She offered only a nod in response.

They both turned to look at Anders. The mage had moved to sit on a box, his face carefully blank as he stared into space. Lyna knelt before him, her hands resting loosely on her lap, and her face tilted up as if she was studying him, trying to work out a riddle. Hawke noted the dagger under her palms.

"I will leave your... friend for you to deal with." Orsino's voice caught her attention and she looked back at him again. "I must return to the Gallows. Meet me there as soon as you can."

Hawke gave a small nod, and watched as he and disappeared around a corner.

Now what was she suppose to do?

She made her way over to the pair, dutifully ignoring the knot of people who appeared near them, sure they all had their own opinions. She watched over Ander's shoulder as his hands twitched against his knees, his head bobbing up and down as if he didn't know what to do with it or where to look.

"There is nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself." His voice held a note of exhaustion which caused her throat to ache. "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice that all mages have awaited."

"This is the will of Justice?" She met Lyna's eye, and watched as the elf bit down on a frown.

"Yes... no. It was my will. We stopped being separate a long time ago. We are one, our wills are the same. The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending that the Circle is a solution. If I pat for this with my life... then I pay."

He let his gaze drop down to where Lyna huddled, her face a study of compassionate sadness, a look Hawke understood well. "Perhaps then Justice will be free. Do you think so, Commander?"

Lyna didn't respond, instead she continued to stare at him, and Hawke understood how she felt. They had let this happen. They had been complacent in hoping it would work itself out, when they should have been fighting harder to stop it. Hawke knew, she at least, should have paid more attention to not only Lyna's warnings, but also the signs that were so obvious in hindsight.

She met Lyna's gaze again, a shared silent communication that had tears welling up in her eyes. Tears she ruthlessly pushed back. She remembered their talk after her help in the Chantry. She knew what she had to do. The question was, did she have the strength to do it. Letting her eyes rest on the hilt of Lyna's dagger, where it poked out from under her hands, she knew that the grey warden was ready for it. Would step in should Hawke falter.

She sent the smaller woman a nod, which was returned, then watched as she got to her feet. She brushed her hands over Anders arms, and settled them onto his still twitching hands, the warm tan of them a stark contrast to his pallor. She leaned forward, chaffing his palms, as if they were chilled, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Pausing only a moment when he whispered something inaudible to the rest of them, she finally moved to stand with the others.

"You have to pay for what you've done." The words sounded raw to her ears, and her throat ached with the emotion stuck there.

"I know." He sounded resigned, and she had to stop herself from saying anything else as he continued. "For what it's worth, I'm glad it's you."

She choked on a silent sob, and squeezed her eyes shut a moment. She had killed countless amounts of people in her life, but this. This man. All she had ever wanted was to help him. To save him.

Pulling the knife from her belt she moved closer to him, hearing his breath catch, though whether in fear, or something else she wasn't sure. Offering up a silent prayer to the Maker, she slid the knife into his side.

He jerked against it, a gasp loosing from his lips that caused her to wince. She watched as he slid from the box, and hit the ground with a dull thump. His hands twitched again, and small puffs of dust drifted around his face with each labored breath he took.

She forced herself to watch it, forced herself to see his eyes, wide in pain, dart back and forth as if he was searching for something.

They all stood in silence around him, and she could see Lyna burrow into Zevran's side, her gaze trained on the dying mage, and the pool of blood forming around him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he heaved out a last sigh, the light and pain dying from his eyes.


	29. Chapter 29

**So I have been wanting to read Warwick Davis' book for awhile now because I like him, and thought it might be an interesting read.**

**Then I discovered (read, stalks voice actors I like to see what other things they are in) that Gideon Emery reads audiobooks. Specifically, he reads Warwick Davis' audiobook. Luckily I have a job where I drive 500 miles a week, so listening to an audiobook is something I do regularly.  
**

**Gideon Emery saying "May the force be with you", while speaking like Yoda. Best. Thing. Ever.  
**

******Also, 10 hours of listening to him talk? Oh, yes please! I'm just lucky it's something interesting... of course he also reads some technical manual things, and I would happily listen to those too. That voice... like rolling around in warm melted chocolate... hmmm...  
**

******...  
**

*******clears throat* Heh, but I digress.  
**

******Anywho! Back to the real reason you're here (which does not involve me waxing poetical about Fenris' voice actor, or his sexy... _sexy_... voice).  
**

******I was apparently wrong about the number of chapters left in this story. It seems to be growing. I honestly have no idea how many more I will have, though I have a pretty clear outline in my head that says it _shouldn't_ be more then 5... right.  
**

******I hope everyone enjoys!**

* * *

Everything around them seemed to be on fire. She was still unsure why it always seemed that the city could be set aflame with the smallest provocation. Lucky thing it was made of stone, and not wood.

She stumbled to a stop, feeling Sebastian slam into her back, at the sight of a large demon manifesting in front of them. She watched as it raised its arms, body stretching in unnatural ways, skin pulling and rolling grotesquely, even as it turned and noticed them. She had just lifted her sword to swing through it when she saw the end of a staff break through the flesh of its chest, shards of ice splintering through it. The creature screamed, a harsh shrill noise, and melted into the ground.

Hawke stared at the owner of the weapon, a tall lithe figure who twirled the staff before hooking it to their back. Their face lifted, and she saw rich brown eyes peering out from behind a fall of shoulder length black hair, concern in the expression.

"Bethany."

"Well your sister has excellent timing," Isabela murmured behind her. She ignored it.

Bethany took a few steps towards her, a confidence in her gait and bearing that Hawke had never seen in her before.

She wondered if it was wishful thinking that she thought she saw the hint of a smile on her sister's face.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. I thought you were dead."

Hawke sent her a tilted grin, her brow raising in surprise. "Really? Last time we talked it didn't seem like it would matter to you one way or another if I died.

"I..." She had the decency to look sheepish, her gaze dropping to the ground. She kicked at the dirt a moment before turning her back, her voice floating to Hawke on an apologetic sigh. "Wanted to apologize for what happened in the dead roads."

She stared at a wall for a moment before turning back, her face scrunched in a thoughtful frown. "You saved my life, and... I couldn't see that." She sighed again, and moved back to stand in front of Hawke, her hands worrying themselves in front of her, an old habit Hawke knew meant she was nervous.

"You're the only family I have left. If you need my help against the templars... just say the word."

"Isn't the Order suppose to be neutral?" She looked back at Lyna, wanting confirmation, and receiving only the top of Lyna's head as she seemed intent on something smeared over her hand. Of course she would get no help there, Lyna was probably breaking any number of rules herself.

She hadn't thought of that.

Bethany was shaking her head, determination lacing her words when she spoke. "Right now, I'm not a grey warden, I'm your sister. I blamed you for putting me in the Order, but... I know you did it to help me." She huffed out a breathe, her hands lifting and dropping. "I was wrong."

She wanted to hug her, but she couldn't, not yet. The pierce of her sister's words, and her own guilt were still between them. Instead, she held out a hand, and shook Bethany's lightly when she took it. A smirk formed as she sent her sister a wink. "Well, I would never turn down the help of magic."

Bethany smiled back, a small curve of her mouth that was betrayed by the brightness of her eyes. "Good." She moved more into the group, receiving pats and welcomes as she did so. Turning back to Hawke, she let her smile brighten a bit. "The Hawke sisters, together again. Just like old times."

A scary thought, that.

* * *

The boat rolled lazy on its journey between the Docks and the Gallows. Hawke stood at the prow, hands clutching at the railing before her, as she stared up at the menacing silhouette before them. She heard a noise to her side, and glanced down to see Lyna, face shadowed in the dim light from the fires of the city behind them. She tucked her hands behind her, legs braced against the bobbing, and glance up to Hawke with a friendly, concerned smile.

"Are you alright? About what happened?"

Her throat worked as she thought of her answer, hands tightening their grip briefly before she blew out a calming breath. "Yes. It was the right thing." She slid a side glance to them small elf. "Wasn't it?"

Lyna stared at her a moment before reaching over to smooth her hand over Hawke's arm in a reassuring gesture. "Yes. Even he knew it, in the end. Such death... it could not go unpunished."

"But maybe he could have made up for it... helped us to do this..."

"And maybe he could have gone on to kill many, many more innocents in the name of _justice_." Lyna spat the last word, her voice uncharacteristically harsh. Hawke watched as she mentally checked herself, a twitching in her cheek as she chewed on it. Finally, she turned her attention back to Hawke, her face taking on the Warden look that Hawke hadn't seen in weeks. "We cannot dwell on what might or might not have happened. You... we... me... however you want to see it. We made the choice, and now it is done, and all we can hope is that he finds forgiveness at your Maker's side."

"You really believe that?"

"Yes." The word was clipped, but sincere.

"It's hard."

"Yes, but that is what being the leader means."

Hawke scrubbed a hand over her face, and heaved out a sigh. "I don't suppose you want to take over."

The elf's face softened a bit, and the corners of her mouth tilted up in the hints of a smile.

"No. I already did that. I'm content with taking orders for awhile." Despite the words, she rubbed Hawke's arm again, her face cracking a bit more, enough to offer a real smile, albeit small.

"We will get through this."

Hawke couldn't help the laugh the broke out, the sound harsh in the quiet. "You're so sure of that?"

Lyna gave a nod, and turned her attention to where the Gallows were growing larger. "Yes. We have to. Otherwise what's the point?"

Hawke understood a little then. The Warden had to think that way, had to tell others it was how it would be. She had to have heart so that they would also.

"I want to thank you. You and Zevran for coming with us. This isn't your fight, and I appreciate that you are here anyway." She was surprised at her own seriousness, light jokes, and snide retorts dying on her tongue.

Lyna gave a shrug, and looked back up at her. "We would not abandon you now. Besides, I am Dalish, you know how we feel about oppression, and unfair odds."

She felt herself smiling at the answer, and returned the look. "And what about Zevran?"

Lyna shrugged again, and smiled ruefully. "He likes killing and being praised for grand heroics. What about this would not entice him?"

Hawke didn't believe that the answer was so simple, but she didn't have a ready reply, and so merely chuckled under her breathe.

She turned to look over her shoulders to where the others stood, tense silence hovering around their tired and uneasy forms. She caught Fenris' eye, and offered a weak smile that he returned before being distracted by boat thumped lightly into the dock of the Gallows.

She and Lyna turned as one to throw the boarding ramp onto the stone, pausing only briefly in their exit to tie the boat in place.

She heard the others scrambling after her, and wasted no time, taking the stairs two at a time until she reached the main courtyard.

Bodies littered the ground. Templars and mages, strewn about in bloody, pitiful heaps. It was a sickening sight.

She looked up to see the fighting at the base of the steps. Mages were running up them, desperately trying to make it into the Gallows, while the first Enchanter blocked the templars who dogged their steps.

She winced as she watched one of them go flying away from him, landing with a sickening thud bedside her.

"First Enchanter!" She shouted the words, hoping to be heard over the roar of the fires that blazed even here.

"Champion," Orsino shouted back, relief washing over his features. "Thank the Maker, your alive! We must."

He was cut off by a shouting behind them, and Hawke turned to watch Meredith ascend the steps, a contingency of templars behind her.

"And here you are," she yelled, her face flushed with annoyance, and anger, her voice cracked and clipped.

"Let us talk, Meredith. Before we destroy the city you claim you want to protect."

Hawke was surprised when she heard Orsino's reply, and turned to see him making his way down the stars, a few mages trailing behind his steel backed form.

Meredith swaggered forward, her face transforming with amused annoyance. "I will entertain a surrender, nothing more."

They stopped a few feet from each other, both radiating a sense of absolute certainty.

Of course, how could either of them be wrong?

Meredith spoke first, her voice still clipped though more exasperated then angry. "Speak, if you have something to say."

Orsino, to his credit, kept his voice just a calm, though more emotionless. "Revoke the Right of Annulment, Meredith, before this goes too far. Imprison us if you must, search the tower. I will even help you." He managed to sound almost beseeching. "But do not kill us all for an act _we_ did not commit."

"The grand Cleric is dead. Killed by a mage. The people will demand retribution, and I will give it to them."

She stared at him another moment, before dropping her voice some. "Your offer is commendable, Orsino, but it comes too late."

In Hawke's eyes, retribution had already been given, and it took the form of her friend, dead in Lowtown, his body still laying in a darkened pool of blood.

She scrubbed a hand through her hair, her voice coming out in a creaking rush. "Much as you seem to want to fall onto my sword, I really don't want to kill you and your templars, Meredith. Stop this before it's too late."

Orsino cut off any reply the knight commander might have made. "Don't bother, Champion, she has wanted this all along."

Merideth let out a sigh, her tone business like as she adjust her glove. "I should have expected no less from you, Champion. Joining with them. So be it. You shall share their fate."

They scowled at each other a moment before Orsino cut in again. "So what is it to be Meredith? Do we fight here?"

Meredith considered her glove another moment before waving her hand in a negative gesture, and turning to meet his eyes. "Go. Prepare your people. The rest of the Order is already crossing the harbor.

"This isn't over," Orsino ground out, before turning to make his way up the stairs.

Hawke thought that he was rather stating the obvious, and turned to look at Meredith one last time before moving to follow him up the stairs, her group trailing behind her.


	30. Chapter 30

**I have a surprising number of readers in Eastern Europe. Hello my Eastern European friends!**

**I was wrong when I said last chapter that Gideon Emery talking like Yoda was the best thing ever. Him talking like Michael Jackson is. *giggle***

**So, I didn't finish before school started like I was hoping, hence the longer break, but that's mainly through the fault that I have way more chapters left then I thought.**

**Also, there is a teeny tiny nod to "An Understanding" in this. I couldn't help myself.**

**Anywho, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The air was uneasy, and she could hear the pitiful cries of one of the younger mages. Gritting her teeth against the sound, she watched as the others in the room prepared for the upcoming battle. Merrill and Bethany were showing some spells to a group of mages, their eyes wide as Bethany formed a ball of light in her outstretched hand. Lyna, Varric, and Sebastain were off to one corner, looking through a supply of arrows. Fenris and Aveline were in some heated discussion that she was sure involved the conflict of helping the mages, and Isabela and Zevran were sitting back to back, sharpening their blades.

She paced restlessly. She had checked in with Orsino and the handful of other mages that were locked in with them, and she was putting off talking to the others. She didn't think she wanted to say anything resembling a goodbye to them. Wasn't sure she even could.

They had fought many things, but this was an army. She wasn't at all sure that they could all survive an army.

She huffed a breathe and settled onto a low box. Needing to keep her hands busy, she pulled her sword into her lap, and, taking a stone from a pouch, began to sharpen it.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there when a pair of leather boots entered her vision. She looked up into the smiling face of Zevran, raising a brow at his easy stance. "You look relaxed."

He rolled a shrug, his smile not dimming. "I was told I would not die young. I like to think I am still young, yes?"

She smirked at the statement, and cocked her chin towards where Lyna sat, her hands waving animatedly as she spoke to the other archers. "While I appreciate your luck, I don't think all of us have the same fate. Maybe she wants to talk to you."

Zevran's gaze followed her movement, and she saw the slyness of his smile soften, as, she realized, it only ever did when he was looking at the small elf. Funny, she had never noticed until that moment that the slyness was always there.

"No. She will tell me anything she wants to say after."

"Do you follow that same rule?"

He made a noise with his tongue, and turned his eyes back to her. "Tch. Words. They slide easily off the tongue, especially for me." He sent her a wink. "She knows what I feel. Are you trying to get rid of me?" He tilted his head slightly, eyes bright with humor.

She suddenly wished she had taken the time to talk to him more. Like he said, he was easy with words, and it had been all too easy to keep the banter light. They both enjoyed joking, and not letting anyone too deep. It seemed a waste now.

"I wish I had gotten to know you better."

His smile sharpened. "I have always said that, my dear Champion."

They grinned at each other.

They spoke a few more moments, about inconsequential things, the battle to come, and whether or not the mages might soil themselves at some point. When Isabela made her way over to them, her expression uncertain, he moved out and away. Words still left unsaid. It seemed oddly fitting.

The talks with the others started then. She tried to keep them light, easy answers and joking words smoothing over her friend's fears. She ignored the prick of emotion she felt when Isabela told her she would stay at her side, and when Bethany reached out to hug her warmly.

She took a line from Lyna's book. They would make it through this.

They had to.

She moved to said elf after the others were done, ignoring the steady stare of Fenris. She wasn't ready for that one yet.

The Warden sat on the low wall, leaned against one of the spikes that shot up from it, waxing the resin of her bow. She glanced up as Hawke approached, a smile hinting at the corners of her mouth. "If you thank me for being here again, I might stab you."

Hawke smiled, and shook her head. "No. I figure if you want to face an army, who am I to stop you. Besides, it can't be any harder then facing an archdemon. In fact, maybe I should just shove you out there alone, and lock the door. Would an hour be long enough?"

Lyna laughed, and looked up at Hawke more fully. "Worried?"

She started to shake her head, then caught herself and gave a single unsteady nod. "I think I would be a fool not to be. Are you?"

Lyna seemed to think the question over, lips pursing as she stared off over Hawke's head. "I don't know if I would say worried. Anxious, maybe? I hate knowing that so many will fall. On both sides."

Hawke nodded, then angled her head. "I'll say the same thing to you that I said to Zevran. I wish I had gotten to know you better."

Lyna tilted her a smile. "And I will reply in a distinctly nonsexual way, which is more than I am sure Zevran did. There will be time enough after." Her smile deepened. "We will make it through this."

"Because we have to." A statement.

"Yes." An agreement

They trailed off as Fenris joined them, his hand sliding up and curling around Hawke's arm. He sent a look to Lyna as he asked if he could borrow their fearless leader. She laughingly agreed.

He pulled her to a quiet corner, his hand staying on her arm, but his grip loosening. He kept his face turned away, gazing out over the small clusters of people surrounding them. She watched him, almost wary, unsure of what he was planning to say.

"Here I am," it was said on a bitten out sigh, "about to defend these mages in hopeless battle." He looked back over to her, a glint of humor visible in his eyes, causing her to relax. "You lead me to strange places, Hawke."

"It's what I do best. I'll lead you to stranger places then this, just watch."

The corner of his lips curled in a half smile that matched her own. "A tempting offer." His hand dropped away, and his expression turned uncertain. "Look... I... I might not get a chance to say this again." He fell silent, thinking over his words as she stared at him expectantly.

When he finally spoke again, it came out in a rush, still unused to voicing his feelings. "Meeting you was the most important thing to ever happen to me, Hawke." He stepped closer to her, his green eyes dark in the dim light, and lifted a hand to her cheek, fingers twisting in the short locks of her hair. "Promise me you won't die." His voice deepened, roughened, and she lifted her hand to cover his as he continued. "I can't bear the thought of living without you."

She beamed at him, and used her free hand to tap a finger to his armor. "I love when you get all emotional. Care to repeat that for me?"

A growl sounded low in his chest, and she had to bite back the urge to laugh. "Let me make it clear for you." The laugh died in her throat as he hauled her to him, lips crashing and clinging. She was sure she made some noise, her arms automatically wrapping around him, as he dragged her under. She could taste the emotions he was pouring into her, and tried, helplessly, to return it.

It was almost overwhelming.

When he finally drew her way, they were both panting.

She heard a throat clear behind her, and twisted in Fenris' arms to see Orsino standing a respectful distance away.

"We are ready, Champion. Are you?"

She glanced back at Fenris before giving a nod. She supposed she was.


	31. Chapter 31

**I'm on the fence about how to proceed with this story. We shall see how it plays out. **

**Once again thanks to everyone who is reading, reviewing, favoriting, or following. I appreciate all of you bunches and bunches!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

They ranged themselves near the entrance to their small sanctuary, her own group making a point to keep the Circle mages behind them, and mostly out of the way. She slid a glance to where Orsino stood beside her, his face set in a grim line, eyes steely. She frowned at the expression.

"You don't look to sure about our odds, first enchanter."

He gave a shake of his head, eyes blinking before he looked over to meet her gaze. "With you here, I think we have a better chance than most, but… what then? More Templars come, with even larger armies." He shook his head again, and ran a hand over his face, his other hand creaking as it flexed against his staff. "We are apostates now." He sounded defeated, old. Turning, he took a few steps away from her. She could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. "Our only hope lies in the Circles elsewhere in Thedas. They could rise up with us against this injustice."

All-out war between mages and the Chantry. Oh yes, that would solve all the problems. There was no way that could end badly for everyone. Might as well bring the Imperium and the Exalted March back, and call it a day.

She bit her tongue, and focused back on what he was saying. He was turning back to her, an odd glint in his eyes now. "I assure you, we won't find sympathy anywhere else."

She raised her hands and dropped them again, offering a small smile. "Well, we will do what we can to protect you all, and we won't charge or anything."

He moved back to her side, and leaned onto his staff. "I am relieved to hear it." He nodded toward where her companions stood. "You will want to give orders to your men. It will be starting soon."

She answered with a nod, and turned to look at the others. They all stared at her, eyes grave and somber. She let her gaze move over them, and she took a deep breathe that she blew out on a nervous laugh. Fenris spoke over the silence that ensued. "What shall the rest of us do?" His expression was encouraging, and slightly amused.

She took heart from it.

"Fenris. I want you to stay close, help out when you can."

A smile formed in the corner of his mouth. "As you wish."

"Varric, stay out of sight, and use Bianca." He patted the crossbow lovingly. "She's ready and willing."

"Sebastian, you do the same, though I don't know what to call your bow." He smiled and nodded.

She looked to Bethany and Merrill. "Stay out of the fray, the both of you, and use your spells from a distance." She focused on her sister. "I'll need you to focus on healing, you're better at it then Merrill, and without…" She faltered. "Without Anders, we will need it." Bethany nodded as Merrill spoke. "We will do our best, Hawke."

She turned to Aveline, and Isabela. "You two stick near each other, and try to keep them off the Circle mages." They nodded in unison, even as she looked to Zevran and Lyna, the odd ones out. The aberrations in their group, that still seemed to fit so well. It was hard to remember that she had only known them a few months, and not years like she had the others. "You two… well…" She smiled. "Just do what you do best."

The smiles that were flashed at her were identical, and did what she knew they were meant for. Put her more at ease.

She took another deep breathe, and passed her gaze over them again. She thought of quipping a joke, but put it out of her mind at the expectant look on not only her companions' faces, but the mages as well. This probably wasn't the best time for jokes.

"So… we're cornered. The Templars know it, and you know it." She saw a few frowns, and scrambled to continue, her hand raising to move with her words. "But! This is bigger than their hate, their fear. "She moved her gaze to the mages in the back. "They've come to take your lives, but we are saying, 'no'" She looked back to her own group, her companions, her friends. "We didn't want this, some of us more than most, but sometimes…" She trailed off, connected her eyes with Fenris, and slashed her hand through the air. "Sometimes you just have to stand."

He sent her a nearly imperceptible nod, and she returned it before turning to the sound of Orsino coming up behind her.

"Champion! It is beginning."

They could hear the noise of the battle outside their chamber. The clangs, and bursts. The screams, and shouts, and pounding of running feet. They held their ground, knowing better then to rush out into the courtyard, where there was fire, and open space. Better to protect the weaker ones here, where they could stay out of the way.

But she mourned for those that she knew were already lost, and those that would be joining them.

The Templars burst through the archway in front of them like a wave breaking through the rocks. The first ringing clash against her shield shook her, caused her to readjust her stance, and her grip. She slashed though them, shoving with her shield, and doing her best to herd them away from the mages, knowing the others were doing the same.

Despite it, she saw them fall.

Not all of them, even delicate circle flowers, as Carver would have called them, knew that a fireball to the face would stop an attacker, but many. So many that she wondered if there would be anyone left to save once this fight was over.

The Templars were well trained, it was what they spent their lives training for, but they were trained for mages. They were more unsure against daggers, and swords, bows, and shields. They won out over the tide. It wasn't done easily, but it was done.

Finally, she stood, a pile of bodies around her, and looked up to study the damage.

So few!

So few left, so few still standing. Her group, yes, thankfully, but only a handful of mages. 10 at most. Maker she hoped others were holed up safely elsewhere.

She searched out the first enchanter, and found him standing in the middle of the room. His face was a mask, unreadable, and dark. She thought he might be shaking.

She opened her mouth to call to him, but stopped as she heard words coming from him already.

"Look at it all." He passed a hand over his face, covering the fact that it was starting to crack, and his voice was thick as he continued. "Why don't they just drown us as infants? Why wait? Why give us the illusion of hope?" He dropped his hand and turned to the others, even as one of the surviving mages took a tentative step forward.

"First enchanter, we… we need to…"

"I refuse to keep running." Orsino cut the mage off, his expression hardening, turning cold, and his eyes green blazes of fire. "I won't wait for her to kill me."

Hawke made some noise, even she wasn't sure what, and knew shock was evident on her face. "Please tell me we are surrendering after all this. I'm sure the Templars will be very willing to play nice after we killed so many of them."

The old elf did not seem to hear her, instead he appeared to be talking to himself. "Quentin's research was too evil, too dangerous, so I put it aside."

Quentin? The apostate? The mage who had killed her mother? She felt her skin tighten, the hairs on her neck raising.

"But I see now, there is no other way."

"You…" She shook her head, the blood noisy as it rushed in her ears. "You knew about that… that murderer?" She saw Bethany come up beside her from the corner of her eye. Her sister looked as shocked as she felt.

Orsino seemed to check himself, his words running together in a rush. "I knew about him. I kept his existence a secret because I didn't want to give Merideth more ammunition against us."

Hawke heard feet behind her, and turned to see a new wave of Templars arriving. She couldn't bring herself to care at the moment, and Orsino was still talking.

"I needn't have bothered… Merideth wants blood magic? Then I will give her blood magic. Maker help us all."

Hawke stepped forward, arguments on her tongue. They all died, one by one, as Orsino lifted a knife and slit his wrist.

Power surged around him, spirals of white light dancing in the darkness. The corpses of the dead, a sickly circle he stood in the middle of, began to move. They lifted and spun closer to him, libs waving in a grotesque dance. They all watched as his eyes turned milky and unseeing, the bodies of the dead molding to him in haphazard lumps.

The flesh melted together, forming into a lumbering lump. The creature roared, and Hawke could have sworn she heard desperate cries in it.

"Mythal, save us."

Lyna.

Hawke turned to look at the warden, and her eyes wide, unbelieving. "Do you know something I don't?"

Lyna turned her gaze to Hawke, her bow never dropping from where it was aimed at the abomination.

"Remember that trip I took to the Deep Roads? I had to fight one of these. A Harvester." She nodded to the creature, and Hawke bit back a curse. If it worried Lyna, it was not going to be easy to kill. "Tips?" She asked softly.

"Go for the head, where the small arms are waving from. We need to separate it from the body, and kill it."

Hawke sighed. "Wonderful"

She lifted her sword, and charged the creature with a yell.


	32. Chapter 32

***Hides behind a rock***

* * *

They killed the monstrosity that had once been Orsino.

Standing over the hulking mass that use to be the first enchanter, Hawke was beginning to wonder if anyone would make it out of this sane.

The Templars had helped them, an uneasy truce in the face of a common enemy, and left soon after he fell, understanding tenuous between them as the warriors left to rejoin Merideth and prepare for more fighting.

Always more fighting.

She was getting tired of it.

She bayed the mages to stay in the room. To barricade the entrance, and to pray.

Luckily, they didn't seem inclined to argue.

Her group fought through the hallways, templars and mages alike. She felt pity for the latter, their eyes wild as they gave into the demons' temptations.

She did not enjoy cutting any of them down.

They finally made it out into the courtyard, and down the stairs to the common area above the docks.

They drew to a stop, a tight cluster on the raised platform, and stared down at group in the plaza below them. Merideth and Cullen stood in the front, though where she had a look of disgust, he looked distinctly less sure.

Hawke hoped that meant at least one of them would listen to reason.

Merideth gave her no time to speak, dashing her hopes into tiny rubble. "So here we are Champion, at long last."

Hawke couldn't help herself when she replied, her annoyance for the woman compounding onto itself. "Oh, I am very sure you have been waiting for this a long time, knight commander. You probably told yourself a story about it every night before you went to sleep. Maker, you probably pleasured yourself to it."

Merideth scowled at her, and ignored the jab. "I am here to see order restored. What happens to you…?" Her brows dropped further over her eyes, shadowing them. "What happens to you now, is your own doing."

Oh, I am sure you would love to say more, you unfeeling harpy.

Hawke kept that thought to herself, and Merideth kept talking.

"You are no mage, but in supporting them, you have elected to share their fate." Her gaze raked over the entire group.

She opened her mouth to say more, but the soft voice of the knight captain cut her off.

"Knight commander, I thought we intended to arrest the Champion."

Merideth glowered at him, her voice harsh with her reply. "You will do as I command, Cullen."

He glanced toward Hawke as she and the others started down the stairs, waiting until they had come to stand closer before turning back to Merideth and replying. "No. I defended you when Thrask started whispering that you were mad… but this? This is too far."

The rage that seemed to engulf Merideth was evident in the sudden flush of her skin, and the rigidness of her movements as she turned to him, her arm reaching up to pull her sword jerkily from her back and point it at his chest. "I will not allow insubordination. We must stay true to our paths."

Cullen lifted his hands and took an uncertain step back, eyes wide. Hawke, simply stared. Merideth's sword was dark red, pulsing with a sickly inner light that seemed to emanate waves of something dark and sticky.

She noticed Merideth staring at her, and forced herself to look away from the sword, and meet her eye as she spoke.

"You recognize it do you not?" Her smile was twisted and wrong as she turned to draw the sword over her arm. "Pure lyrium, taken from the Deep Roads. The dwarf charged a great deal for his prize."

Bertrand. Hawke slid her gaze to meet Varric's eye. A four year old answer finally revealed.

She turned back to Merideth. "Well, I always assumed you were a smart woman… but making that into a sword? That was incredibly stupid. Or do you not remember that it poisoned his mind in the end?

Merideth smirked, her expression crazed and excited. "He," she drawled the word, almost giddily, "was weak, whereas I am not."

She swung the sword in a wide arch, indicating the Templars around her before pointing its tip at Hawke's face. "All of you, I want her dead."

Hawke stepped back from the tip of the blade, and watched as Cullen seemed to, finally, gather his nerve. "Enough." He almost bellowed it, and she noted that Lyna was beaming at him. "This is not what the Order stands for. Knight commander, step down! I relieve you of your command."

Merideth dropped the tip of her blade, and turned to stare at him, wide eyed. "My own knight captain falls prey to the influence of blood magic."

With that once sentence, she proved what Hawke and the she and the others had already guessed. She was well and truly mad. As lost as poor Bertrand.

It was almost sad to hear her continue.

"You all have." She spun in a tight circle, glaring at all in her path. "You're all weak, allowing the mages to control your minds, to turn you against me." She swung her blade at them, seeming to take pleasure in watching them scramble out of reach.

"But I don't need any of you." She came to rest, once again, pointing the tip at Hawke. "I will protect this city by myself."

Hawke nearly jumped when Cullen moved to her side, his own sword singing out of its sheath. He looked determined, and furious. "You'll have to go through me."

"Idiot boy. Just like all the others. They should have left you for dead in that doomed Fereldan tower."

She swung her sword up, and flipped it at the last moment to stab the end into the stone beneath them. Red light shot up around her as she knelt before it, her voice a mumbling swirl of anger and conviction. "Blessed are those who stand before the corrupt and wicked, and do. Not. Falter."

With that she pulled the blade out of the ground with a high pitched scrape, and attacked.

Hawke met her head on, the shock of the glowing sword hitting her shield reverberating through her arm and down her body. Maker she hit like a truck.

She fought them all off, red sword swinging, and keeping most of them at bay. Even spells seemed to have little effect on her, the glow around her seeming to suck in the power that was lobbied at her. Hawke cursed at it, even as she blocked another hammering blow. She huffed out a breath, and watched Cullen and a few others block or scramble away from swings of their own.

Infuriating. Infuriating that this was happening, and that there seemed to be nothing she could do to stop it. Giving a cry, she hurled herself at the knight commander, shouldering her way into her inner circle, and using the pommel of her sword to jab into Merideth's throat.

Merideth gave a chocking grasp and stumbled back, momentarily stunned. She fell to her knees, her breathe coming out in a whoosh as Hawke and the others advanced on her. Hawke watched as she climbed unsteadily to her feet, when she looked up her eyes were the same sickly glowing red as her sword, and red lightening crackled around her.

Hawke balked as Merideth bit out words, her voice rough and strained. "Maker, give your servant the strength to defeat this evil." As she finished she crouched a bit then leap into the air. Hawke was sure her mouth hung open as she watched the knight commander spring, impossibly high, into the air and land, agile as a cat, on the platform above them.

Red lightening erupted from the ground in front of her, stopping any thought of pursuit. They all watched, ineffectually, as she raised her sword, and thrust it, once again, into the ground. Red explosions of light burst around her and to the sides, surrounding the statues that stood to either side of the Gallows stairs.

They lit, and began to move.

She heard Varric curse, loudly, and could only agree with the sentiment.

One of the slave master statues began to crawl from its perch. She finally snapped her mouth shut, and scowled as it lumbered toward them, bronze feet clanging. It raised its blade tipped staff and angled it toward them.

How were you suppose to fight a statue?

They all leap out of the way when the statue began to spin like a top, and its staff whirled in a circle around its axis. When it stopped, seeming to need a moment to reset itself, they all pressed forward, uncertain, and cautiously.

Just as she reached arm distance away it lifted its staff again. It feigned an attack to her side, at Cullen, then quickly jerked the pointed back end behind it.

Directly into Zevran.

Time slowed as she watched the elf's brandy eyes widen in surprise, a mixture of shock and incomprehension crossing his suddenly pale features, his hands coming up to tentively touch the shaft the protruded out in front of him.

She let out a cry and stood, uselessly, watching as the statue ripped the staff out of him again, and move to a new target.

Zevran stumbled back a step, tripping and clattering over his dropped daggers as he tumbled to the ground. Past his limp form Hawke saw Lyna coming towards them at a dead run, her face hard and set, her hands clenched into fists. She didn't spare a glance for the form on the ground, but rushed passed it, long strides odd looking on short legs, and leapt at the statue.

She scrambled up it, hooking a leg into one of the shoulder pauldrons besides its head. Leaning out of the way of a swiping hand, she lifted out a dagger and shoved it, unceremoniously into the joint between the neck and chest.

A shove, a yell, and the head came tumbling off, pried away by deft determined hands.

Lyna jumped from her perch even as the figure fell into a jumble, and took a stance next to Zevran's fallen form, exchanging her dagger for her bow. A small Valkyrie standing watch over her charge.

She never once looked at him.

Time sped up once more with a rush of sound, and Hawke heard Lyna shouting orders to Bethany, who was already making her way over, features strained as she began pouring healing spells into the prone form.

Merideth attacked once more, and Hawke was forced to turn her attention away. Not good. She knew it was no good. Bethany would already be tired, plus she would need to watch the others as well.

Not to mention that he might already be dead.

She was forced to refocus her thinking as she blocked another blow of Merideth's sword. Dimly she was aware of more statues clamoring down from where they had stood, and the others besides herself and Cullen, engaging them.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Merideth stumbled back once more. Her whole body seemed to glow now, reminding Hawke, for a moment, of Anders and Justice, and the lightening glancing over her skin was more prominent.

She raised her sword, unsteady as it was, to point at Hawke. "I… will not… be defeated." The words were harsh and ragged, her breathe laboring in her chest.

"Maker." She raised the sword, tip up, in front of her face, glowing eyes, closing. "Aid your commander."

The sword exploded.

Red, wisp light engulfed Merideth's form, and she screamed.

Maker she screamed. Screamed, and screamed. Hawke was afraid it might never end, the sound of it burning itself into her mind, and she barely resisted the urge to cover her ears.

When the screaming finally ended, and the light faded, Merideth was gone.

Well, gone might be a relative term.

A husk of a form remained. Stone like and still red, smoke curling off the hardened skin, and glowing eyes set far back into a skeleton like face.

She merely stared at it, unsure how to proceed, when a Templar ran past her to kneel before the statue. She watched as the woman lifted a hand to the form, then think better of it, her fingers curling into themselves.

It was then she realized two things.

One, Lyna had moved to the weapon store that stood in the corner of the plaza, and was doing something that looked like breaking down the table, and two, that her group was currently surrounded by Templars.

She met Cullen's eye. A steady exchange that seemed to put in mind their entire acquaintance all at one time. Finally, he gave a nod, barely a single movement, and took a step back.

The others followed his lead.

The message was clear. Leave, and leave now before others arrive.

She turned to see Lyna hauling the top of the table, the legs now missing, across the stone floor, to where Zevran lay.

She said something to Sebastian and Fenris that Hawke couldn't hear, and proceeded to lay the board on the ground, helping to push the too still form onto it.

Sebastian and Fenris picked up the edges, while Bethany stayed beside it, magic still flowing into the unconscious elf. Her hands were shaking, and she broke only a second to gulp down a bright blue potion. The four of them were the first to move to and down the stairs.

Hawke and the others followed.

She didn't look back until they were all instilled onto the boat, and it was floating out into open water.

Cullen and a few of the others were standing at the top edge of the stairs watching them.

She stared back until they faded into the darkness.


	33. Chapter 33

**I honestly did not know what I was going to do with Zevran in this chapter. I had gone into the story absolutely sure that I was going to kill him off, but over the course of it... damn it, I just really like him and Lyna, and it was starting to bother me that I might make a fictional character sad... weird, but then I also really like the emotion of him dying. Anywho, I wrote two versions, and deliberated, and weighed the pros and cons, and well... you'll see below.**

**I got that Sten is now an Arishok from the graphic novels, so... yeah...**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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They made it to the mansion in record time, the group around Zevran speeding behind the small form of Lyna as they moved into the building and up the stairs to an empty room. Hawke was surprised when she saw the elf appeared back down the stairs and disappear through the doorway to the cellar, and turned to say as such to Isabela before she noticed that the pirate was talking to Bohdan and Orana in hushed tones, worried eyes on the stairs.

She barely registered Aveline and Merrill beside her, until the former touched her lightly on the arm, and drew her attention. "I need to get back to the guard. Make sure the citizen are still being protected." Hawke gave a small nod and watched as her friend turned to leave, face shuttered, without another word. Biting back words, she turned to look at Merrill instead, noting the way the woman rung her hands.

"Do you think I should be up there? I don't know much about healing but…" Her words trailed off, and her mouth thinned. "I wish Anders were here."

Hawke's reply was cut off by a curt voice as Lyna joined them, shoving a bulky bag into Merrill's arms. "Anders isn't here, and you should be upstairs."

Merrill staggered under the weight of the bag as she gave a nod and turned to head up the stairs, and Hawke realized that Lyna must have raided the stores in Anders clinic. Turning to ask as much, she was taken aback by the rather curious look on Lyna's face as she turned herself. "Do you have a map?"

Hawke gave a numb nod and a vague point towards the library, pausing only a moment before following the small elf into the room and up the stairs. She watched as Lyna located the maps, and pulled one out, bringing it down to the desk and spreading it out over the dark wooden top.

She blinked as Lyna went to the door and called for the others, then held up a hand as she came back to lean over the map. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"We need a plan." The words were clipped, void of their usual warmth, and oddly conversational.

"Don't you want to go upstairs?"

"No."

Hawke blinked again, and felt her brows lower as she watched Lyna lean over the map again. "Why not? Don't you think…" She trailed off, finding it almost impossible to even think that Zevran, with his quick smile, and sharp wit, might be dying as they spoke. Vaguely she wondered if Lyna was avoiding the situation.

She didn't answer, not at first, simply stared at the map as Isabela and Varric entered the room, followed shortly after by Sebastian whose hands were bloody, and linked behind his back. Finally, she glanced up at Hawke, her eyes steely in an expressionless face. "Whether or not he dies we need to have a plan. We need to leave." Her gaze returned to the map. "They will be searching for you. For all of us. We can't stay here."

Hawke knew that it was true. Knew they needed to think of something, but she couldn't wrap her head around the calm that Lyna was displaying. Even as she thought to ask if she even cared about the injured man in the room above them, Hawke caught sight of Fenris entering the room, and noted the glass he head, filled almost to brimming with a dark amber liquid.

He sat it in front of Lyna, who looked up with a wordless murmur of thanks, her fingers curling around the glass. The cup shook as she brought it to her lips, and after a quick, deep drink she slammed it back down, her hand dropping as she used the other to point, steady handed, toward something on the map.

Oh.

She remembered a conversation she had had with Fenris just after he had started staying at her. She had joked that he was pinning with unrequited love for the Hero, and he had sent her one of his half smiles, a hand coming up to smooth over her short crop of hair.

"No," he had said, "I don't pine over our small friend. We just… understand each other."

He would think to bring her a drink, and in doing so show that she was not as calm as she so desperately tried to make the others believe.

He stayed behind Lyna, his head bending near hers, as he pointed out something of his own, a hand coming up to rest lightly on her shoulder.

Understanding indeed. Hawke could count the number of times Fenris had ever touched anyone, save herself, on one hand, with fingers to spare. It spoke volumes of his regard for her, as well as his support in her worry.

Hawke focused back into the conversation, tuning into Lyna's words as she motioned to Starkhaven.

"We could indeed go there, Sebastian." she spoke quietly, her eyes coming up to meet those of their resident prince, "but they know that you all are friends. They will look for her there. For all of you. The same can be said for Ferelden. I would not bring the Chantry down on Alistair, or you."

Sebastian gave a nod, though his features took on a determined edge. "I understand. Regardless, I need to go there, and you all will be given asylum. For at least as long as it takes to get anything else together that you might need."

Lyna nodded once then glanced over to Hawke. "I have an idea, but… I don't know how you all will feel about it." As she finished her sentence she turned her gaze to Fenris, then Isabela, her eyes unsure.

Hawke glanced between her and Fenris, a brow raised at Fenris' confused look. "Well, might as well tell us."

"Seheron."

Hawke felt her mouth drop open, and she shared a stare with Fenris and Isabela before returning her attention to the small elf at the center of them all. "You want us to go to Qunari lands?" Her words were said on a humorless laugh, her voice incredulous.

Lyna nodded, her hands folding at her waist. "Yes. They would never think to look for you there, especially with your all's history, and even if they did, how would they be able to find you among thousands of closed mouth Qunari?"

"I don't know if you remember, but I killed their Arishok, plus Isabela stole their book, and Fenris would stay as far away from the Tenvinter Imperium as is possible."

Lyna merely watched her, face still blank as she lifted her glass to drain more of her drink. "First. You killed an Arishok, there are more. Second, you were named _Basalit-an_ and defeated him in an honorable duel, plus you helped to retrieve the Heart. Third, they do not know Isabela by face or name in Seheron, so if she wished to come she would be fine, and finally, Danarius is dead, Fenris has nothing to fear anymore."

Hawke simply stared at her a moment longer then held up a hand. "Ok, let's say that what you're saying is true. What makes you think that any of the Qun would simply let us move into the neighborhood, let alone not rat us out to the first person who asks?"

Lyna smiled at that, a weak, half thing that seemed odd on her still stony face. "Because you will be with someone who one of the Arishoks call _kadan_."

It clicked then, a half forgotten story about the qunari that the Hero rescued from the cage in Lothering, that helped to save the whole of Fereldan.

"You are friends with an Arishok?"

Lyna nodded. "Yes."

They all stood in quiet after that, thoughts drifting. Finally, it was Fenris who broke the silence, his voice strangely amused. "It's not the worst of suggestions. If nothing else, there are several of us who know the lands, which is more than can be said for the majority of the Chantry."

Lyna flitted him her emotionless smile, and pressed her hands flat on the map. "It's something to consider at least. I would say we have at least till the morning, though we need to be gone soon after that."

Isabela sent her a frown and nodded her head up at the ceiling. "Zevran isn't going to be in any fit state to travel by then. We don't even know…" She was cut off by Lyna's hands fisting and lifting to slam onto the desk, her eyes dark and the mask she had been wearing cracking for the first time. "I am well aware of the limitations, and possible outcomes for Zevran, and I would appreciate it if everyone stopped seeing fit to remind me." Her voice was harsh, the words rasping from her in raw clips. "However, we are at the moment, enemies of the Chantry. All of us. We stood in open rebellion against the Templars to free mages. It doesn't matter that Cullen let us go, or that I am friends with the Nightingale, or that Sebastian is a brother. It doesn't even matter that we are Heroes and Champions. They will arrest us, and they will execute us. They will have to if they hope to make an example, and end the inevitable war that will be coming from our actions tonight."

She scrubbed a hand over her face, pausing just a moment as she took a steadying breath. "Not forever." Her words were muffled through her hand, and Hawke could only think that she sounded tired, and beaten. "Just long enough that it won't matter whether we are alive or not… Think about it. We need to start making plans to get out of this city." With that she dropped her hands, and Hawke noticed the shadows under her eyes, a smudged black that faded into the lines of her tattoo, even as she turned and walked out of the room.

They all dispersed then, a silent agreement to think, and plan later. After a few hours Hawke left Fenris sitting by the fire in the library, his head lulling on his chest, and made her way up the stairs, drawing to a stop when she noticed Lyna's small form huddled with Merrill's by the bedroom door. They were speaking in hushed tones, Lyna's hands caught at her waist, the knuckles white. Finally, she pushed passed Merrill and into the bedroom, her expression as unchanged as it had been for the last few hours.

Hawke went to Merrill then, dread pooling in the bottom of her stomach, cold and hard. She had to swallow to ask the question she wanted to ask, even as she felt her own hands clinching. "Did he live?"

Merill stared at her a moment before giving a jerky nod. "He lost so much blood… but yes. I don't know when he or Bethany will be ready to travel though." She turned to motion into the room. Peering around her, Hawke noted Zevran on the bed, Lyna tucked onto the corner of the bed near his head, and off in a corner, her sister slept on a pallet. "She wanted to stay close just in case." Merrill's words were low, and Hawke looked back to note her wavering stance. "You need sleep too."

She could only nod and mumble something about finding a couch before stumbling off and down the stairs.

Hawke moved to the doorway, leaning against the doorframe to watch first her sister, taking note of her steady even breath, before moving her gaze to the pair of elves at the bed. Lyna sat tucked against the headboard, Zevran's head pillowed on a thigh, and her hand was moving unsteadily through his hair. She was saying something, and Hawke was surprised to note that Zevran's eyes were open, and crinkled at the sides with a weak smile as he listened.

She started to step out when Lyna's voice raised and drew her back. "No need to run off, Marian. Come in if you'd like." She turned back and moved into the room, unsurprised that Lyna would not think twice about inviting others in.

She walked to the end of the bed, and looked down at the assassin. A sheet was pulled low over his waist, and his naked chest gleamed darkly in the firelight, she idly wondered what it was about him that his muscles would be so… well… big for an elf, she still had not met another who looked like him. She noted the ugly scar that marred his stomach, dark red, and puckered, and she forced herself to smile at him. "Well, women love scars."

He transferred his smile to her, and managed a short laugh. "Very true." His voice was winded, and she watched as he coughed dryly, then winced at the movement. When he looked back at her, his smile returned. "No need to look so worried, Champion, I told you I would not die young."

"But you are no longer young." The words came from Lyna, and she brushed her hand over his forehead. "No matter how you protest it."

"Never say I am old, mi amor. I am ageless."

Lyna rolled her eyes, then gave in with an indulgent smile. "Not old no, but it is not the same thing."

Hawke could help but enjoy the exchange, her chest slowly feeling less tight with each moment. "You know, I don't actually know how old you are."

He tsked her, and coughed again. "You never ask such things."

"He's 37." Lyna's voice was bland, and she sent Hawke a wink when Zevran gave her a hard stare.

Smiling wider, Hawke moved around the bed then leaned down to press an impulsive kiss to his cheek. "I'm glad you're not dead."

Another weak laugh, and a nod. "Me also, Champion."

She turned to make her way to the door, speaking over her shoulder to the pair. "I will work on arranging transportation for tomorrow. Isabela will take us to another port city to buy supplies for our trip. We can decide the best place to go from there."

There was a sound of agreement from Lyna, and she sent another assessing look at her sister before walking out of the room, shutting the door.


	34. Chapter 34

**Bit of a fluff chapter, from Lyna's point of view, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I think I felt like I had to apologize for almost killing Zevran off.****  
**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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Lyna spent the morning helping Varric, Fenris, and Sebastian load what meager belonging they had onto Isabela's ship. They had a small pile of provisions, but not wanting to be too much out about town had stopped them from getting more. The plan was to sail the few hours to the next closest port, and stock up there, as well as come up with a more solid plan. She piled bags into the corner of the cabin assigned to her and Zevran, and gave the bed a light kick before tossing her bow and arrows onto it. She kept her daggers on her back, and turned back out of the room in order to make her way back deck side, where she watched the others move around the boat, silently hoping that some of them, besides Isabela, knew what to do around a ship. Zevran would be help later, but was of no use at the moment, and she herself spent most of her time on a ship leaned over the side, giving her insides to the deep. She took a deep breath and made her way down the gang plank, shouting to the others that she was going to start sending everyone else down so they could head out. Isabela 's reply was just as loud as she leaned down from where she was working on the mast, and reminded her that Fenris and Sebastian would be along soon to get Zevran.

She sent a nod and jogged to the stairs leading up from the Docks, into Low Town, and bit her lip as she thought of how to convince Zevran into being carried.

He wasn't going to like it.

She had headed out with Isabela to look at the ship in the early hours of the dawn, sleep eluding her even after Zevran had fallen into rest again. She couldn't turn her brain off, couldn't close her eyes without seeing him standing in the courtyard, eyes wide with shock, hands fumbling with weapons, and a bronze staff skewering him from end to end.

She hadn't been able to stop it, hadn't been close enough to step in the way, or shout a warning. All she could do was stare, shocked, before instinct kicked in. She didn't remember the sprint to the statue, didn't remember scaling it or ripping off its head. She didn't even remember shouting at Bethany to start healing him. All she remembered was after the battle, pushing him onto the table top, and desperately searching for some movement, some sign that he wasn't dead, and finding none.

Even now, knowing he was alive, her chest tightened thinking about it. She knew it was a miracle, knew from talking to Merrill what the extent of the damage was, and how much concentration, not to mention, effort it took to put him back together.

She rubbed her hands over her face and drew to a stop in the shadow darkened corridor between stairwells. She didn't realize she had slumped over until she felt the cool stone of the wall against her arm.

She needed a minute. Just a minute. She hadn't let herself think on it. Hadn't let herself think about him until she had walked into the room after talking with Merrill. Even then, she couldn't get words out until she had made it to the bed side and noticed that his eyes were open, and crinkled in a weak smile.

"I'm afraid you're stuck with me a while longer, cariño." His voice was soft, breathless with the pain that wasn't completely dulled by medicine, but it was his.

She hadn't replied at first, instead she had crawled into the bed and tucker herself under him. When she was finally settled she titled her head over his, and offered her own tentative smile. "And here I was ready to fight your Maker himself."

"Oh?"

She gave a nod. "Yes. He is not allowed to have you yet."

She sobbed into her hands as a cool wind swept through the passage, and then ruthlessly pulled it back. It wouldn't help anything to break down now. He was fine. They all were, save Anders, but she had grieved him long ago.

She wiped a hand over her cheeks and loosed a wavering breathe before straightening and continuing on her journey. By the time she reached Hawke's mansion, she was steadier, and more at ease.

She found Zevran in one of his favorite spots. Surrounded by women.

She smiled to see it, and smiled wider when she noted the mulish look and her assassin's face, as well as the determined set of the shoulders around him.

They must have already told him of being carried.

She folded her arms over her chest, and pitched her voice into the silence. "Problem?"

They all turned to look at her, and she had to swallow the laugh that bubbled up at the range of exasperated looks that were leveled her way. Finally it was Bethany, looking haggard but more rested, who replied. "Zevran is having a hard time understanding the need to be taken to the ship, when he is incapable of sitting up fully, let alone walking across the city."

"I am perfectly capable of getting myelf to the ship."

She caught Hawke's eye and had to bite down harder to stop herself from returning the tall woman's amused grin. Instead, she moved through the others and came to stand next to the bed, her arms staying folded as she simply studied him. Zevran watched her, his face set. "Nothing you can say is going to make me change my mind." He scoffed when she simply blinked at him, and lightened her heart with the obvious sign of improvement, even if he couldn't move around yet.

She knew he was speaking the truth when he said that she couldn't talk him into it with simple arguments, and while she could guilt him into it, she was too happy to see him looking stubborn to not have a little fun, so she let a small smile form and dropped a hand to tap a finger lightly on one of the tattoos that curved along a muscle of his stomach, and ended abruptly in the ugly scar that marked his middle.

Trailing her finger up, she watched as his eyes changed, glinted, and narrowed, aware of what she was doing. Ignoring the small group of women behind them, though she could practically see Aveline and Merrill blush, she circled his chest and trailed her hand up and into his hair. Leaning over him, she brushed her lips over his once, then twice, her fingers working over the point of his ear. She waited, mouths barely touching, until he gave a low growl, though even then she kept it light, teeth nibbling, tongue tracing. When she finally deepened it, slipping her tongue between his lips to meet his own, his breath was coming in short bursts against her cheek, and his hands were fisted into the bed linens at his sides, arms still too weak to be of use.

She drew it out; her hand moving back down to glide over his chest before she finally pulled away. She moved just enough to meet his gaze, amber eyes darkened with desire and annoyance. She kept her voice low, rough, and teasing. "You know, we have our own room on the ship. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can show you a more… pleasurable form of healing."

She bit her lip and stared at him another moment before straightening and stepping back. He studied her another moment before finally letting out a curse. "Fine. Fine. We do this your way." He settled back with a grumble, but she didn't miss the smile as he closed his eyes. She merely chuckled and sent the others a wink. "I'll let them know."


	35. Chapter 35

**Closing in on the end! There will be one more chapter after this, though that is more of an epilogue. I have really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you all have enjoyed reading it. I started this in order to help myself learn to write better dialogue, since most of my writing doesn't use it, and I like to think that I succeeded. This is definitely the longest thing I have ever written, though I don't know if that is a good thing to point out. :)**

**Anywho, I hope you enjoy, and I should have the next chapter up at some point this weekend. I want to thank, once again, everyone who had read, reviewed, favorited, or followed this. You all make Zan very happy, and I appreciate the encouragements!**

**Cheers!  
**

* * *

The gentle rocking of the ship over the waves lulled her into a complacent half sleep. She hadn't lied to Isabela when she told her she would make a horrible sailor, and she proved it the first time the pirate had asked her to help move supplies, and she had only managed in knocking a barrel of fresh water into the dark ocean water.

She was a fighter, and a farmer in a pinch thanks to the years of living off the land with her family, she never claimed to be good at anything else, and moving with any sort of grace on the rolling ship deck was well out of her league.

Fenris was better at it, almost as sure footed as the crew, and more than willing to pitch in, never having been one who could sit idle. Even now he was following the much healed Zevran up one of the masts to fix; well something she was sure she wouldn't understand.

She smiled at the sight, glad to see the golden elf move with such ease over the wooden timbers, even with the puckered circular scars on his stomach and back glowing a shiny white against his normally tan skin. It had taken almost two weeks for him to be able to get up and move around, and another two for everyone to stop shadowing him in fear he might over tax himself.

She knew it made Lyna more relaxed anyway… well as relaxed as she could be. Hawke turned to look at her small elf companion, and bit back the laugh that bubbled to her lips. It wasn't funny, not really, but after nearly two months it was easy to see the humor in the situation.

Lyna was very bad at two things, making long jumps, and, apparently, sailing.

Even now, two days into their latest departure from land, she was huddled at the stern of the ship, her head leaning heavily on the railing, and her hair pulled back into a messy knot at the top of her head.

Hawke roused herself enough to stand and make her way over, plastering a sympathetic smile on her face. "Need anything?"

Lyna merely moaned and rolled her forehead against the wood. "Land… for a long period of time."

She laughed at that, and settled next to the elf, even as she groaned and leaned her face over the edge to heave dryly at the water, the contents of her stomach long since emptied. Hawke knew from experience that she would be like this for at least another day before finally getting her version of sea legs, which mainly involved sitting very still, and breathing shallow.

"The captain is saying that we should reach Seheron by the end of the week," she said conversationally, and was rewarded with another groan that did make a laugh slip out. "I hate to think something might attack us here. You wouldn't be there to save us."

Lyna glared, and Hawke laughed again.

They were finally making their way to the island of Fenris' birth, nearly two months after their flight from Kirkwall. They had learned later that they had left just in time, missing the influx of Templars sent by the Chantry to "cleanse" the city by only a matter of days. She didn't like to dwell on how they would have taken her, or the others, involvement in that whole mess.

They had sailed to Ostwick for supplies and crew, well most of them had at least. Aveline had elected to stay, unwilling to abandon her post, or her husband, which Hawke couldn't fault, though it had hurt. Aveline had been her rock for the last 10 years, a constant in her life that she never once had to question, and it had been hard to walk away from that, leaving her friend to an unknown.

It had been weeks before she had received word that the guard captain was still doing alright.

From Ostwick they had sailed, briefly, to Amaranthine, in order to return Bethany to her grey warden comrades, another hurt, that was at least tempered by a friendlier goodbye then their last parting. They had stayed long enough for Lyna to check in and get news, and Merrill to decide she was staying also, before moving on.

She was still surprised about Merrill.

The blood mage had decided she wanted to go to the lands that King Alistair had set aside for her people, and find a way to help the unrest there, a concession to her inability to help her own clan, and Hawke could only agree, understanding the feeling of duty her friend spoke of.

Two more hard goodbyes and they were off again, this time back to the Free Marches, and up the Minater River to Starkhaven.

That's where they had lost Sebastian, and she had learned that Aveline was still alright.

They had dawdled there a few weeks, stocking supplies, and helping Sebastian set the ground work for retaking his homeland. It was surprisingly little work, the current king being easily manipulated and bossed around. By the time they had set off again, Sebastian was well on his way to regaining control, and offering promises to pass information on to them about Kirkwall after they found somewhere to settle.

After that had been Rivain, and the loss of Isabela and Varric, the first because of ill ease in heading to Qunari lands, and the latter because he wished to keep the pirate company awhile before returning to Kirkwall, still having his own business there.

Those goodbyes had been almost as hard as Aveline and her sister.

She didn't like dwelling on it, or Varric's words to her.

"_Don't let me know where you are, don't let any of us know. I don't think they will give up on finding you as easily as Lyna hopes, and the less we know, the less they can get from us."_

She knew he was right, but it didn't help the stab of loss that the severed connection gave her.

So now here they were, well the four that were left, on a new ship, led by an unknown captain, on their way to one of the main footholds for the warring Tevinter and Qunari.

No way could this end badly.

But, she trusted Lyna, and knew that she was right in the assessment that this would be the last place anyone looked for them.

She turned back to look over at Lyna again, and was surprised to meet a blue stare.

"You are thinking very deeply, Marian."

She blinked, then huffed out a laugh, Lyna's voice was still strained and raw from the heaving, but leave it to her to focus on someone else.

"I am thinking that this is the craziest thing I have ever done, and that it will only end in tragedy, but that it's a far better idea than getting questioned by the Chantry."

Lyna sent her a week smile, and shifted to face her more fully.

"Of course it might also be fun to see how Qunari actually live, instead of, you know, seeing how they react to Chantry sisters blackmailing and killing them," she continued lightly.

"Who knows, I might actually like them."

Lyna gave a small nod, her throat working a moment as if unsure if it needed to expel more or not, before she replied. "I always have. Liked them, I mean. There is something very... Appealing about their way of life, and it is honorable in its own right."

"When they aren't trying to take over other cities, and get the citizens to submit to the Qun, you mean."

"Well of course." It was said on a laughing breath before Lyna lifted herself to lean over the railing once more.

Hawke left her to it, after offering a light pat to her shoulder, and moved back to where she could watch the two male elves at work. She enjoyed it, enjoyed watching all the crew to be honest. She had a new appreciation for Isabela's life after spending months living among it. She could very much get use to watching half naked men moving around like acrobats on a ship, their dark skin practically glistening in the bright light of the unmuted sun.

Yes. She could get use to it quite easily.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Zevran and Fenris made their way back down to the deck. She watched the blond move off in the direction of the still retching Lyna, before turning to the white head that blocked the sun in front of her, his features obscured in the light that backlit him.

"Enjoying the show?" The words were said lightly, and she grinned up in reply. "Yes. I am starting to think that maybe we should just take up living on a ship. It would be very good for my morale."

She could see the white flash of his grin in the shadow darkened lines of his face before he moved to drop down beside her, one hand landing on her shoulder before moving up to tug at a lock of her hair. "I think you have morale enough as it is."

She simply grinned again and sent him a shrug. "I was talking to the captain earlier. He seems to think it will only take a week to get to Seheron." She indicated where Lyna sat in a heap, glaring up at Zevran, as he ran a rag over her forehead, all the while laughing. "I think our warden will be glad to finally have a rest from ships."

Fenris followed her gaze and nodded in agreement. "How the mighty have fallen. It's probably a good thing that fighting darkspawn doesn't involve water."

"Well at least we know now that she isn't all powerful. It was starting to get embarrassing, all the things she was good at."

Fenris turned back to her, his smile still in place. "Never say you're jealous."

"No, but it is embarrassing to be outdone by someone barely half your size. Grey warden or no."

"Well, when we are face to face with the Qunari and Tenvinters, you can be embarrassed by being outdone by people the same size as you, or bigger."

She snorted at that, and waved a hand in dismissal. "I have already shown I am better than them."

They lapsed into silence a moment before she finally breached the question that had been nagging at her since they left Kirkwall. "Are you sure you are ok with going back there? You're not just going along with it, right?"

He smiled at her again, though this time it was his more customary half quirked lips. "No. I am not just going along with you. I told you once; I always thought I might want to come back, especially now that Danarius is dead. I have nothing to fear there now. It might be interesting to see it as a free man."

She leaned over, pressing her lips lightly to his tilted ones, and leaned back just enough to make eye contact. "A place to settle where we don't have to save everyone? I don't know if we can handle it."

His hand moved back into her hair before drifting down over her jaw, his thumb gliding over her bottom lip. "We can. I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

It was nearly six days later that they pulled into the port of Seheron, the city, and Hawke silently thanked the Maker that she was not clad in her customary plate armor, having opted for loose cotton clothing when they had left Rivain. She stood on the deck of the ship, pressed against the railing as she stared over the port city. It smelled like the sea of course, how could it not, but she also got the impression of tea, and a spicy scent that reminded her of the incense that they lit in the Chantry during mass.

Zevran stood beside her, relaxing back on his heels, his arms crossed over his white expanse of his shirt, as his eyes followed Lyna and Fenris down the gangplank and onto the docks.

Hawke glanced over at him, a brow raised. "Why don't we get to go with them again?"

Zevran rolled a shrug, his expression amused as he returned her look. "Well, I suppose she told you to stay because you don't know the correct way of addressing them, while Fenris does. As for myself… well, I'm not very good at being respectful. I have gotten her in trouble here more than once, I'm afraid. It is good indeed that Sten likes her so much."

Hawke laughed lightly and looked back down at the two elves as they made their way to a dock worker. "Doesn't he like you?"

"Not particularly." It was said in a dead pan, causing her to laugh again. "I can't imagine why."

"He thinks I don't have much respect for… well anything."

She blinked and shot him a quick innocent look before looking away again. "I don't see where he came up with that."

She felt his gaze, and bit back her laugh, focusing instead on where Lyna had struck up a conversation with a hulking, horned form. She was gripping something in one hand, a talisman of some sort by the look of it, while the other waved expressively. Fenris stood mute, and serious at her side.

Yes, it was probably a good thing that she and Zevran had stayed behind.

After another few minutes the duo finally returned to the ship, letting them know that things were set, and they could go ahead and move their things off the ship. Well, what meager belongings they still had.

Finally, they were all on solid ground, the cool ocean breeze struggling to cut through the humid heat that surrounded them. She stared out over the port and outer walls of the city, as the others stowed their things into a crate on the dock, promising, she supposed, that they would be back for them later, in a rapid fire language that she didn't understand.

Funny, she had never imagined that she might have to learn to speak the Qunari language. Though it made her feel better to learn that Zevran didn't understand more than a hand full of words himself, stating that he didn't see a need when Lyna seemed so willing to muddle through it, and could speak for both of them.

They eventually moved into the city proper, the golden sand stone that surrounded them, glowing bright in the noon sun. It was impressive, she would give them that. Even after living for 10 years in another city of stone and chains, she didn't feel as shoved in as she had there, with its dull grey colors, and gloomy sky.

People bustled around her. Qunari, of course, they were easy to pick out with their towering forms, and shining silver skin, but also humans, and elves. She could even see a few dwarfs hocking wares in the market off to their side.

She wondered why she was surprised that it seemed so normal, Fenris had told her as much, even years ago when they had been dealing with Arishok. She supposed she was still expecting it to be like the compound; serious and stern, with that oppressive air of discontent that always seemed to linger there.

It was refreshing to learn that she had been wrong.

They moved out of the market area, and down a paved stone street towards a towering fortress that gave her a moment's pause, mainly due to the fact that there was an impressive amount of stony faced guards surrounding it. She wondered at the intelligence of approaching them, even as Lyna moved to the closest, her face carefully blank.

"Kost. Anaan esaam Qun" The words were spoken lightly, and she was holding out the talisman again. Able to get a better look at it, Hawke noticed that it was a small round disk that was hanging from a leather cord around her neck, the pattern on it reminiscent of the overlapping rectangles that most of the qunari leatherwork she had seen sported. Beside it hung a small jeweled earing, which glinted red in the light.

The Qunari stared at it a moment before meeting Lyna's gaze, his stony stare never wavering. "Shanedan."

She didn't understand most of the conversation that followed, though she did pick out Arishok and basalit-an, so she figured Lyna was asking for a hearing for all of them.

She still wasn't sure if it was a good thing.

Eventually they were escorted into the fortress and through long corridors until they entered a large circular room, sparsely furnished except for the large throne like seat near the center of the room.

A Qunari sat on it, though it took her a moment to process because he surprised her. He was just as large as the rest that stood or sat around the room, and had the same bright silvery skin, but… he had no horns. Not simply cut away as she had seen others do, but simply none at all, giving him the look of a large, ornery human.

He stared at them, just as stony as the others, for a long moment before his gaze moved to rest on Lyna where she stood slightly in front of all of them, and a smile cracked his face.

It was more terrifying then the frown.

He stood quickly, moving down the dais his chair sat on, to engulf the elf's hand in his as the two greeted each other.

"Arishok, it is good to see you well."

"As it is you, kadan." His eyes moved to shift over the others, landing last on Zevran, where he stood smirking. "Though I see you are still with the elf."

"Yes. Some bad habits are hard to get rid of."

He merely grunted a response to that before continuing. "They tell me that you have also brought me the basalit-an that took down my predecessor." Lyna nodded then looked over her shoulder to tilt her chin at Hawke. "So I have. You always did say I kept interesting company."

Sten dropped her hand, and moved closer to Hawke, his gaze assessing. "She is a woman, kadan."

A statement, and an annoyed one at that, which Hawke was unsure of how to reply to.

Lyna merely shrugged, her smile not wavering. "You think you would be used to it by now. Besides, she is not a woman, she is basalit-an, named so by the last Arishok." It was oddly reminiscent of what Fenris had said all those years ago, and she watched the Qunari in front of her nod an agreement. "So she is."

He moved back to his chair, and settled into it, a hand waving at them. "So tell me, kadan, what brings you here, asking for my help?"

Lyna told the story quickly, not dressing it up as Varric might have, though Hawke guessed that was because of her audience. When she finished they all stood in the lapsing silence as the Arishok tapped a finger to his knee. Hawke shot a glance at Fenris, who nodded reassuringly before turning back to the dais.

Finally, the Arishok nodded once. "I still owe you a debt, and I can repay this. You all are free to settle here, under my protection. You may stay as long as you wish."

Lyna beamed at him, and Hawke loosed a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. It was settled then. They wouldn't have to keep running. They didn't have to protect a city bent on destroying itself.

She ignored most of the rest of the conversation, her thoughts a few miles off, until Fenris touched her arm, and indicated that they were leaving.

She gave her thanks to the Arishok, and turned with the others to make their way out into the bright light of the city.

They would get their things. They would find a place to stay, and maybe… just maybe, they could finally have some peace.


	36. Chapter 36

**Thanks again to everyone! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_The sky was a dull grey, the steely clouds seeming to press towards the ground, as if they would collapse over it if only they could get past one another. Rain drummed down from them in a steady stream, blanketing the people milling around in a constant sheet of wet, and gave everything a faintly distorted cast._

_That's what greeting the three figures that picked their way down a ship's gangplank towards the muddy docks. The smallest reveled in it. A child by all accounts, small and quick footed where anyone else would take care. It rushed to the ground, head tipping back to revel a mass of black hair quickly plastered to her head, and a cherub like face, blue eyes open wide in wonder at the pouring skies._

_She shouted something back to the others, an observation that was lost in the watery noise around them._

_She had never seen such rain._

_The taller figures moved to cover her head again, one picking her up, quipping a joke about drowning that had bright laughter ringing out from the small form, while the other ushered them both into the nearest inn._

* * *

They spent nearly a year in Seheron before moving south west to the Anderfels. They had grown tired of the warring between Tevinter, and the Qunari, and while the latter had kept their promise to allow them sanctuary, Hawke and Fenris both doubted that they were much missed once they were gone.

The Anderfels had proved its own challenges.

It was a remote county, a plus to their situation, but ruled by the Grey Wardens, and hard to live off of. It was near overrun with darkspawn most of the time, and the people were untrusting of newcomers.

But, it allowed them anonymity, and kept them connected to the rest of the world thanks to their proximity to Weisshaupt Fortress, and what Hawke was sure was a few words put in by Lyna and Bethany.

It helped in the long stretches of not seeing a friendly face.

Lyna and Zevran had left only a month into their stay in Seheron. A quick goodbye that seemed all the more rushed by the strained look on the grey warden's face. They were both uncomfortable with idleness and staying in one place too long. They had pushed past it once with their months in Kirkwall, and neither seemed inclined to do so again.

Hawke envied them that they could simply pick up and leave.

She would have gone too, had she been able.

They had reason to stay though.

* * *

_The small group stumbled through the door of the inn, flinching at the noise of it slamming shut behind them with the force of the wind. They drew the attention of the others with the noise, and the woman offered a laughing apology as they moved to a corner table, hoods still raised against the dim light._

_The man settled the other two before moving to book a room, and a meal. He pushed back his hood to reveal white hair, and pointed ears that caused the innkeeper to scowl ineffectually before slipping a key over the bar top. He gave a nod, ignoring the look, and moved back to the table. He settled his cloak over the child, and watched as the woman pushed back her own hood to shake the water drops from her black, rough cut hair._

_They sat in hushed silence for what seemed an eternity, the child curled in sleep between the adults as the day grew into night._

_Finally the door opened again._

_A bright blond head ducked in from the still pouring rain, another set of pointed ears poking out from the strands, causing the innkeeper to scowl even further, and bee lined unerringly to the trio. Few words were spoken, though a slyly sharp laugh seemed to ease the tension apparent in the lines of the ones sitting._

_Finally, the white haired elf bundled the still sleeping child under his own cloak, and they all moved back out of the inn and into the wet night._

* * *

Hawke did not have a happy pregnancy.

She had vehemently denied its existence at first, and as it became increasingly difficult to do that, she had fought against it even as her body rebelled against all her best intentions of ignoring it.

Fenris told her that she carried a child like she fought in battle, single-minded and determined, but that she needed to accept that she would not win this one.

She hated not being in control, hated being at the whim of a tiny thing that she couldn't do anything about.

It changed of course, the annoyance that she felt, the moment the child was in her arms.

She had something new to fight for, something new to protect.

It was why they had stayed in Seheron, and why they had decided to take their chances in the county of Anders' birth.

They could fight darkspawn, and they could eke out a living in the harsh soil.

No one knew them here. No one looked to them to save the day. There were plenty of fighters there already, and no one was looking for a Champion to give extra help. The anonymity kept them safe, kept _their_ _child_ safe, and that was what was most important.

They sent word to her sister, an anonymous letter stating they were safe, and within a month they had been visited by Lyna, a quick trip that was a promise that she would keep them informed, and a vague link of friendship that made the Grey Wardens of the region friendlier to them.

* * *

_They traveled with a caravan for the next few days, attention easily kept off of the still cloaked trio because of the almost over the top attention seeking of their blond companion. He kept the others engaged with sly looks and risqué stories, and they never looked twice at his more silent friends._

_The child was fascinated with him. A small shadow when she could slip away from the overly protective eye of her father. The blond took it in stride, telling her tales of a hero assassin, and swinging her up to ride on his square shoulders._

_The further they got inland the more uneasy the hooded adults became, and the more often they kept the child between them, until finally the four broke off from the others, and headed into the low hills on their own._

* * *

She began having dreams nearly three years after their flight from Kirkwall.

They started out as fuzzy things, simple impressions she was unsure of that faded into a general sense of unease when she woke.

She didn't try to pretend that they didn't coincide with the news that the mages had decided to break completely from the Chantry, and the more disturbing news that the Templars, for the most part, had followed suit.

War was on the horizon, the world was in an upheaval, and her dreams became more pronounced.

She still didn't understand them, still didn't know what they meant, but when she woke she remembered a cave, and a mirror, and a dark haired woman that looked unhappy to see her.

She spoke with Fenris about it at length, his steady support the only thing that kept her believing that perhaps she wasn't losing all grip on reality.

When she told him what she felt it wanted of her he had simply nodded, a hand moving over hers in a long practiced gesture of comfort and understanding.

She needed to go home, to Ferelden.

* * *

_The group met up with yet another elf in a set of ruins overlooking the rocky hills. She appeared tired and worn, stark black lines crossing a too pale face that appeared to have not seen rest in days, perhaps months, but when she saw them she rushed forward with warm words and a bright smile that eased the air around the cloaked group, and pushed back the overwhelming sense of unease that floated there._

_She tweaked the nose of the child, and sent her off to gather berries from a distant bush before speaking to the others in low tones, and hushed words, her uncertainty masked by an optimistic resolve._

_Finally the child was back, and the group was moving down into a darkened corridor, the dank smell of earth enveloping them._

_They entered a vast, green lite cavern, a lake dotted with islands at its bottom, and a mirror perched, ominously, in the center. A woman stood before it, dressed in scraps of cloth, her hair dark, and her eyes an almost unnatural yellow._

_She was scowling._

_The couple pushed the child behind them, hands hovering unsure over half concealed weapons._

_A witch of the wilds was easy enough to recognize in such a place._

_The small elf stepped forward, her hands rising to settle the others, reminding them that she and the woman had been called._

_She offered a hand to the witch, familiarity obvious in her ease with the uneasiness that radiated from the figure in front of her._

_When the scowling woman finally took her hand in greeting she beamed at her._

"_Hello, Morrigan."_


End file.
